Watty's Awakening

savingholmes

All the best with balancing sorting things out and rest.

Watty1

Thanks for the suggestions.  I appreciate them.

I will follow up on the mis-selling in time as that was a substantial refund @Humdinger1 Well done you for persisting.

Would have liked a day off but VNM's daughter has 5 days off work for bereavement so the visit to the undertaker was scheduled for yesterday.  Very difficult being supportive but not part of the family and so sitting quietly and just suggesting gently what about this or that, or would either of you like to whatever.  .  His daughter has always tiptoed around me probably because I am one of many girlfriends that have appeared over the years and given granny's view of me I have never really gone out of my way to build a relationship there (to be honest at the start I never thought the VNM would actually be a VNM so just parked it all).

Then back to the house to pick up a few things and suggested the VNM and his daughter meet up later this week to sort out the outfit that mum/grandma will wear and so on.  They can support each other for that. I neither want nor need to be part of that.    I missed the robustness of my family, the giggles we had in the past arranging funerals for there is always humour and joy in remembering loved ones with them and their sensible down to earth viewpoint.  Most of my family have passed on now so just watching the overwhelm and grief was hard.  I am reminded of a friend who once said one grief bead touches all the beads from the past.   I think that is so.

I suggested a floral tribute from a local florist who does a garden raid and makes the tribute from the garden findings as B loved her garden but then wished I had not.  I've always gone for the personal (because that is what my family always did) but then I realised grand-daughter would probably prefer something more conventional. I will follow up and suggest that the family organise flowers themselves and simply send mine as a quiet offering if they would like me too.  I really have no strong feelings either way (again I think this surprises them, all I want is for them to be content with what they do/plan).

Today up early to work for a couple of hours before spending some time with the horses and then a full day at work.  I have my meals planned and then an early night with a film or something good on the bedroom TV.   I will try to call my sister later too and tell her I need a fun chat and a coffee soon.   An escape from it all is just what I need now 

daisy_1571

that does sound a bit overwhelming for you.  As an adult it becomes more likely that you will lose a parent, as they become unwell it becomes more and more likely.   My family and in laws luckily were similar.  Lots of laughter and reminiscing, getting on with what needs done, nobody overwhelmed with grief.  I would find it very hard to have to bite tongue and not just say right, this needs done, let's get it done.

Hope you get a few days break from it so you can recharge yourself if this is going to be dragging on for months for you.  He supported you through a lot, its nice that you are there to support him through this, but you need your strength and resiliency to be able to do that.

Dxxxxxxxxx

Alchemilla

Hi Watty. Lovely to see things are good for you and so pleased you got Wattydog. Lovely that the neddies are still with you too xxx

Watty1

Absolutely agree @daisy_1571    Doing my best to recharge 

Hello @Alchemilla  How lovey to see you back posting   Look forward to catching up x

PennysIntoPounds

Hope you've got a cosy self-care evening lined up soon, preferably tonight given these temperatures! 

Did the cat issue get resolved by VNM daughter?

Slinky

Oh yes, I was wondering about the cat

savingholmes

The grief beads analogy is interesting and makes a lot of sense.

Watty1

PennysIntoPounds said:

Hope you've got a cosy self-care evening lined up soon, preferably tonight given these temperatures! 

Did the cat issue get resolved by VNM daughter?

I stepped back from Annie the cat who went to the Cats Protection League.   The home I found was going to contact the branch she went to and see if she could adopt her from there and I decided not to follow up,   I knew it was going to make me cross that I had wasted time and got everything set up and then the poor cat ended up in a rescue, the very thing I was trying to avoid because I could not see she would ever be adopted out of rescue because she is so timid.  I'm hoping she went to the home I found via the rescue.    I did say very firmly please send the rescue a donation of at least £200 because rescue's are overwhelmed and then stepped away.   Whatever happened at least she is safe, out of the elements and I'm hoping she has a lovely home somewhere.

Slinky

If the home was suitable location wise, there's a good chance she will have gone to the home you found. Someone wanting to take on a timid cat is going to be a good target for a rescue. We adopted our cat from CP late last year. They had 72 cats at their centre, with 120 waiting to go in.