31k is a scary number

Waywardgirl3

Starting a new diary for 2024 to keep me accountable. 

My debt is at its highest it has ever been and it makes me sick to the stomach, I thought I had a LBM last year but this year my debt is worse and i've had enough!

i grew up watching my parents fight over debt and rather than making me cautious, the scarcity mindset in our household meant that once i started earning my own money i bought myself everything i 'deserved' and buried my head in the sand. That coupled with depression and adhd meant i got a lot of dopamine hits from spending. 

Abit about me - I'm 30, live with my partner, cats, a dog and i also own a horse (a huge expense but not one I'm willing to sacrifice, I've been a horse mad girl since childhood). We own our own house but looking to move in the next couple of years. It's a move i really want to make but one that terrifies me as my partner has no idea about my debt (he thinks I have about 6k) and i am so ashamed and determined to be in a better financial position by then. 

I have a decent public sector job and earn 41k with scope for overtime in a relatively cheap part of the country -  but despite this i feel in such a dire situation, one that i'm ashamed of and would not admit to any of my friends as i really feel that i have failed somehow trying to 'keep up' with those around me. 


My debts are as follows;

HSBC loan (consolidation loan) - £11,794.45
Monzo loan - £10,833.26
MBNA credit card 1 - £6,374.04
MBNA credit card 2 - £2,925.76

Current debt total is £31,927.51

Once I have a small emergency fund of 500 pounds (I have 4 pounds in savings at the moment) I am going to snowball these smallest to largest. All are relatively low interest - i will need to balance transfer the credit cards mid spring if not paid off by then but hoping that the MBNA 2 will be close to cleared. 

Posting here to keep myself accountable - fingers crossed this time next year i have drastically reduced my debt and can read back and be proud of myself!

FootyFanDan

"i grew up watching my parents fight over debt and rather than making me cautious, the scarcity mindset in our household meant that once i started earning my own money i bought myself everything i 'deserved' and buried my head in the sand. That coupled with depression and adhd meant i got a lot of dopamine hits from spending. "

I can totally relate to this part, I was exactly the same and always treated myself and was ah well I work hard or i feel crappy and buying this makes me feel better. My parents were crap with money and i always said when I am earning i won't ever be like that, but nope I was crap with money too. 

It took a total mindset change and some tough choices on my part but eventually got through, I wish you the best of luck on your journey to getting into a better financial place. 

Four_Seasons

Wishing you well I will be cheering you on x

craftingmad

Good luck.
Do you have any ideas on how you are going to clear them off - will you take on another part time job, sell some of your things, do survey sites etc?

BlueJ94

"i grew up watching my parents fight over debt and rather than making me cautious, the scarcity mindset in our household meant that once i started earning my own money i bought myself everything i 'deserved' and buried my head in the sand. "

I also grew up around this, similar boat to you I'm 29, partner dogs a cat and looking to buy my house. Last year in January my debt stood at £245 now it's back up to 1k due to not being accountable for my own actions but i'm back to kick the debt up the butt! My mother is currently still in debt and denial, when my grandad passed in 2022 she was given 18k and she blew it, I decided I don't want to end up like her money wise. I want my own house and not to be paying for debt and having nothing to show for it.

Waywardgirl3

The plan is good old reduce outgoings, increase income! 

I am hesitant to get a second job as I don’t want it to get in the way of doing overtime in my current job as this is very well paid, but if overtime dries up then it is something I will have to consider. 

I am also going to go for a promotion this year. It is unlikely I will get it as I have only just moved up a grade at work but rather than being complacent I’m going to push myself out of my comfort zone this year so that even if I don’t make the leap this year, I’ve got lots of experience for when I do. 

Got lots of stuff I can sell on vinted so going to start there too! 

Looking into side hustles but with the animals and my current job I’m really quite time poor so need to do some brainstorming here I think 

MatyMoo

Do you know where your money currently goes? If not a spending diary will help, it will show where you fritter money away. Also an SOA to get you in to a budgeting mindset and to be realistic about where your money needs to be spent. It will also give you an idea about when your debt free date will be. 

Before spending anything you have to work out if it is a need or a want. Wants should be the sort of things you wait for and ask for as gifts for birthdays or Christmas. 

Good luck, you can do this!

Charlotte_88_24

Good luck! 

I grew up with a similar experience, looking forward to seeing your debt free journey  

MrFrugalFever

Best of luck, I became debt free the hard way but the biggest positive out of all of it is I now have a completely different mindset towards my spending and a new found respect for financial management.

Go for highest interest bearing debt first (likely your credit cards) and snowball.

Whilst it may be very difficult to involve your partner, I've read many a time on here that once someone has their partner (plus kids if applicable) on board they've made great leaps and strides. Often because spending in reigned right in and you're both working towards the same cause.

DebtFreeMe6

FootyFanDan said:

"i grew up watching my parents fight over debt and rather than making me cautious, the scarcity mindset in our household meant that once i started earning my own money i bought myself everything i 'deserved' and buried my head in the sand. That coupled with depression and adhd meant i got a lot of dopamine hits from spending. "

I can totally relate to this part, I was exactly the same and always treated myself and was ah well I work hard or i feel crappy and buying this makes me feel better. My parents were crap with money and i always said when I am earning i won't ever be like that, but nope I was crap with money too. 

It took a total mindset change and some tough choices on my part but eventually got through, I wish you the best of luck on your journey to getting into a better financial place. 

I can also relate to this so much, the reason my mum and dad divorce came down to huge debts from my dad and nearly losing the house multiple times. My mum is incredible with money and both me and my sister unfortunately followed in my dads footsteps unfortunately….

Waywardgirl3

DebtFreeMe6 said:

FootyFanDan said:

"i grew up watching my parents fight over debt and rather than making me cautious, the scarcity mindset in our household meant that once i started earning my own money i bought myself everything i 'deserved' and buried my head in the sand. That coupled with depression and adhd meant i got a lot of dopamine hits from spending. "

I can totally relate to this part, I was exactly the same and always treated myself and was ah well I work hard or i feel crappy and buying this makes me feel better. My parents were crap with money and i always said when I am earning i won't ever be like that, but nope I was crap with money too. 

It took a total mindset change and some tough choices on my part but eventually got through, I wish you the best of luck on your journey to getting into a better financial place. 

I can also relate to this so much, the reason my mum and dad divorce came down to huge debts from my dad and nearly losing the house multiple times. My mum is incredible with money and both me and my sister unfortunately followed in my dad’s footsteps unfortunately….

It really hits home how we are so unconsciously shaped and influenced by our childhoods!