From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

debtfreewannabe321

Hope LG has a great first day back. I am not sure how old LG is but assuming primary aged still? My ex H and I had a somewhat on and off relationship...I basically brought our 3 kids up alone (didn't meet DP till youngest was 10) and I couldn't afford any holidays abroad. Most of our summers, Easters, Christmas hols were me taking them to NT places, EH, parks for picnics, finding free days out here there and everywhere, a few beach days, carpet picnics with a movie and a den, library trips when they had free things on, free trails around town, having friends round for sleepovers and putting the tent in the garden.....nothing cost very much because I didn't have very much. They're all 15-25 now and I never hear any of them complain about their childhood summers. They didn't get the Disney trips, or the 2 week all inclusives like, literally, ever....and if anything it has taught them to amuse themselves when bored. I think LG has given you a huge compliment there too so that was lovely  
Hope you have a nice day too, I find back to school day nice and calm AND QUIET  

Greying_Pilgrim

So, we're making progress.

I walked into Greying Town - I took a new footpath, nearby the house, that I'd been eyeing up since we moved in.  I knew that it went in one direction, but until we moved in, I hadn't realised you could 'turn left' too.  I wondered whether it led out to somewhere convenient for the school run - although I was aware that no kids walked that way - only dog walkers - so i thought it probably didn't.

I set out and turned onto a tarmac path - and thought, 'oh this is promising'..... but then around the first corner the tarmac stopped and turned to muddy gravel 😕 I carried on, but the trees and bushes began to close in, and it was clear there was no route off the path to where I 'wanted' to go.  As the vegetation got thicker, and it became more important to watch where you were treading 🙄I will freely admit to getting a bit scared....... 😬  But anyway, just when I thought, 'I need to turn back, I've got to turn back', I saw that the path turned a corner up ahead.  It's the story of my life to always be thinking about giving up, just as I'm within sight of the finish line.  It was true again this morning, as I went to the corner and turned, and the path changed to tarmac again and  clearly led back to the housing estate (up from where I had hoped it would come out).  Anyhoo, I got to see something different - probably won't bother walking that way ever again 🤣 and at least I didn't scare LG with my hair-brained 'let's just see where this goes.........' investigations 😁

I have done my banking and this has allowed me to settle my CC bill, so all is ship-shape again in the bills department.  

I saw some tops that I liked the look of in M&$, so I bought a couple.  My previous tops have served me well - some of them pre-date LG 😱  by several years 😱 but they are also beginning to show their age, and are only fit to be worn under a fleece or whatever.  OK, for most of the sorts of things I do on a daily basis, but not fit to be seen out in, or for attending things.  If these new ones last as long as the previous ones, they will cost me summat in the order of tuppence a week, which inna bad.......

I popped into hB and picked up a couple of food items - including henders0ns rel1sh - thanks 🐞, as the season of soups and stews is nearly upon us.  I also stocked up on nuts whilst I was there, as there are none in the store cupboard and I'll need to buy them at some point anyway, so I ended up spending £10.30.  

The tops were an 'unplanned' expense, although notionally we have a clothes budget, but it has been raided in recent years just to pay the priority bills.  LG has always had whatever clothes they need, but DH and I have been a bit 'make do'.  Which is OK to a point, but I have gone to look a bit raggy around the edges at times.......
So I shall enjoy the tops - consider buying some more, and try to make them last as long as my old ones.  

Right, off to update my siggie and find some lunch.  

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Oh dfw - shame on me!  I somehow didn't see your post soooooooo sorry!

Yes, I'm hopeful that as a 'person' LG will grow to be like your children, and enjoy those type of activities (there wasn't anything that you listed that I wouldn't not do btw 😁) whilst doing them - and when older, only speak warmly of those type of activities/continue them with their friends/family of their own etc.  LG just gets a bit deflated when 'TarquinAmelia' starts whanging on about '3 weeks in Monte Carlo being such a chore' and 'there are only so many times you can ride all the rides at [insert name of theme park]', 'Iwas allowed to stay up past midnight to buy the latest release of [insert name of inappropriate video game] etc etc.  If we could work out how to "ignore" all the bragging (especially when as adults you know there's always a bigger picture), and for LG to somehow not be made to feel 'less than' by it, we'd possibly really enjoy what we do as a family.  

You're all being so supportive and I appreciate the "been there and done it and it worked comments".  Thank you.

Today has been sort of 'quiet' - but I can hear the children at playtime - so it hasn't been that quiet...... 🤣  Poor teachers!

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Extremely autumnal start with us here.  But the freshness is welcome over stifling heat/humidity, anyday of the week for me 😁

LG's day was 'ok' yesterday.  There are several children who have just started up where they left off in the summer term 🙄 They are just as mean, just as bossy, just as self-centered.   There appears to have been no opportunity for "Wot I did on my 'olidays" type discussions.  Perhaps it was a time thing, perhaps it is a move on equality grounds, who's to know.  

Something that dearest Cheery mentioned on her thread has planted a seed of a thought in me.  Cheery was talking about trying to accommodate differing requirements/viewpoints/needs in an assembly of people, and how perhaps in trying to be nice and thoughtful, it could be possible to appear indecisive - even if you're not.  It got me to thinking about LG and school.  LG is a "normal" kid - teachers are always saying how kind and thoughtful LG is to their classmates and other children/adults in the school.  We place great emphasis on manners, politeness and kindness as a family, and whilst LG isn't the stand out "popular" kid in class, an awful lot of the kids like LG and would want to be on the same team/be a partner etc etc.  BUT.  The prevailing...... "way of being" for the majority of the kids (in school, never mind in class), is ME, ME, ME - it's all about ME, it's all about what I WANT/NEED/THINK, and they know that if they shout/whine/complain/moan/speak loud enough or for long enough, they are highly lightly to get what it is they want. - to heck with anyone else.  An awful lot of the kids don't even know "how to play the game" (of life/society), they aren't even interested.  They want to play/participate on their terms and frankly, if the game isn't about ME or I can't SHINE in it, then I don't want to know.

LG is coming to the classroom/game, knowing the "Rules/Guidelines" and expecting that other people know them too - or that they will learn them together.  LG has a hard time understanding why their peers don't join in - or  actively seek to thwart the game, or make nasty comments, or talk over the teacher.  I think the other children see LG as weak and therefore pick on LG. And, instead of ignoring their carp, LG thinks they mean the things, and takes it to heart.  As a parent you know the "bigger picture" that is moulding this behaviour, or fostering it, or encouraging it, but sometimes it's difficult to explain that in 'child focused terms'.  Well, I find it difficult.  

I need to start doing some major de-cluttering.  We are thwarting our own DIY efforts by there being too much "stuff" (and it is stuff, not everyday-use objects), to shift before we can see the (eg) carpet to lay the dust sheet down, or the drawers are full on the sideboard so we can't move it to paint the wall - you know the score.  Now that  LG is out of the way for a few hours a day, and won't be looking over my shoulder saying "I need that" at every turn, I may get somewhere! 🤣

Tea last night was bean chilli out of the freezer with rice for the adults and lentil dhal with rice for everyone else.

Right, best crack on and shift-a-tail-feather.

Greying X

rtandon27

Greying_Pilgrim said:

...It got me to thinking about LG and school.  LG is a "normal" kid - teachers are always saying how kind and thoughtful LG is to their classmates and other children/adults in the school.  We place great emphasis on manners, politeness and kindness as a family, and whilst LG isn't the stand out "popular" kid in class, an awful lot of the kids like LG and would want to be on the same team/be a partner etc etc.  BUT.  The prevailing...... "way of being" for the majority of the kids (in school, never mind in class), is ME, ME, ME - it's all about ME, it's all about what I WANT/NEED/THINK, and they know that if they shout/whine/complain/moan/speak loud enough or for long enough, they are highly lightly to get what it is they want. - to heck with anyone else.  An awful lot of the kids don't even know "how to play the game" (of life/society), they aren't even interested.  They want to play/participate on their terms and frankly, if the game isn't about ME or I can't SHINE in it, then I don't want to know...

In the "Adult" world these type of people are known as type A's - in my world they are type "A$$" - Likle LG sounds like a solid Type X - these end up being well liked in life, but also feel the weight of the world on their shoulders!

badmemory

I have had the odd few seconds of the last 40 odd years of parenthood when I have wondered if we really should be teaching our children to say please & thank you along with the other how to be a nice person type thing we teach them.  Only the odd few seconds as I couldn't bear to think I had brought up one of those unpleasant ones.  Hopefully they will eventually reap what they sow.

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Thank you RT - i hadn't thought about personality 'types' - either the official psychological version, or the earthier **ahem** vernacular version........ 🤭  

Oh badmemory I am of the same thought, but lawks it sets you up to be trampled on...... 😕

So yesterday went OK at school, but disappointingly LG's teacher has already been weighed up by the kids, and all the savvy kids have persuaded teacher to 'move them'...... next to their friends.......  Clique central........ 😕

Tea last night was the last of the potatoes, boiled, omlette, frozen mixed veg (MrS - valu range), and baked beans.  Little bit repetitious, given we had omlette on Sunday, but I have plenty of eggs and a tea was made, so...

We've a hectic time once school finishes today.  Dentist appt then activity is starting up tonight, so it'll be a race around (hopefully no traffic jams, or we'll be stuffed one way or another), and then like that, it'll be bedtime.  I must remember to be more organised regarding the future dentist appt - the dentist prefers to make them before you leave the room.  So you get bombarded with a time and a date - without seeing a calendar.  Which is why we're going today - even though i pointed out I didn't want Thursday appts...... Ah well, we're lucky to have a dentist and we'll make it work. 

Shopping today.  I have made my list.  It won't be cheap, but hopefully it will be 'good' ingredients heavy.  Fingers crossed.

Right, better dash.  I'm a bit behind.

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Right, I am back with scores to report.

As predicted, I spent alot.  However, I am reasonably satisfied that I got fruit and veg and "reasonable" foodstuffs.  I also got several items that are 'storecupboard' stock up/replenishments, so had I not got them this week, I would have got them next etc etc.  I have also ensured - or tried to ensure - that we have sufficient bread in the freezer, so that pack ups are catered for.  On food, I spent a total of £67.02 - which does also include wine and low-ish alcohol beer.  On non-food items, I spent £9.58 on loo paper.

I bought a bag of frozen butternut squash in MrS.  I don't think I have used this product before.  And whilst I would normally buy a whole butternut squash, I have to admit that I purchase one with a recipe in mind and only ever use half of it (at best) and "save" the other part for "something else" and I never get around to the "something else".  So, this is an experiment to see if the product is OK, and if it cuts down on waste.  It was 99p for...... probably a 500g?? (at most) bag.  As I got a bag of sweet potatoes in PoTW, I do definitely want to make the Royal Marsden version of mongolian BN, SP & chickpea curry.  

MrL was quite busy, and they were a bit slow putting another till on 🙄  MrS was busy - but not as busy as I have seen it.  They did at least open another staffed till today, as the queues for people wanting those tills snaked up the aisles.  hB was busy too, but I was a bit more 'in & out' there as I only needed two items.  

Right, onwards and upwards with the day!  

Greying X

badmemory

I've never seen butternut squash frozen, I'll have to look.  I normally just use as much as I need & then dice & freeze what is left.  It does sometimes take me quite a while though before I get round to using it.

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening MFW'rs

badmemory - that is certainly a good thing to do to freeze any left over BNS - I think I always think "I'll use it this week", but never do.  If I was more on the ball, it would probably be more cost effective to buy whole and freeze the remainder.  

Anyhoo, I got my recipes muddled up, and the Royal Marsden stew that I was thinking of was SP & chickpeas only (sorry there is no link to a recipe online), so I didn't use any frozen BNS.  The one that I was thinking of that does use BNS, SP & Chickpeas is actually a soup recipe that I got out of my C0vent gArd3n S0up co. cookery book - the orangey brown one I think - but I didn't want soup tonight, so went with the Royal Marsden one.  But in looking through, I came across a recipe for BNS & black eye bean curry, which is a Lee Watson recipe from his beachhousekitchen blog.  So I shall be using some of the BNS in that - as it's a nice recipe.  

So for tea tonight we had the stew (I popped a couple of carrots in too, so that it didn't use all the SP's in one dish), and I served it with boiled rice for LG and too wet cous cous for DH and I.  My fault as I rushed to put the cous cous on whilst I should have been doing the school run.  I loused up the cous cous cooking and was (slightly) late to pick LG up, which was stupid as I knew we had to dash over to the dentist.  The dentist appt was fine, but traffic was horrendous as people have sought out alternative routes to avoid roadworks.  I ended up coming out via the country roads route again this week, as it probably took no extra time - but is a few miles extra - and we were travelling versus sitting in traffic.  

For a 4 day week, this week seems to have lasted forever!  

Today I am grateful that we got everything done.  LG is continuing to develop and it's nice to see how they are in new situations and how other children of the same age are.  I don't always get to see how 'good' LG is - whether it's confidence (they are far better than they ever give themselves credit for), or speaking in front of others, or learning lines or following instructions.  And as for dentists - well, LG was nattering away, answering all the questions that the dentist seemed to have.  I don't know if it was their version of "bedside manner", but I think putting the light on the chair was slightly 'interrogational'...... 😂

Ta for popping by.

Greying X