I’m in a lot of debt and I don’t know what to do

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  • I will do a Sao tonight after work. It’s the stigma of bankruptcy I don’t want, I’d love to be able to get a mortgage at some point and buy my own home and I’d feel with bankruptcy that would be a difficult task
  • stu12345_2
    stu12345_2 Posts: 797
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    edited 21 November 2023 at 10:32AM
    Billy Joel MC hammer marvyn Gaye  meat loaf,Willie nelson.cyndie lauper mike Fleetwood.etc all went bankrupt  at some point in their lifes. and recovered.. not many will know your bankrupt unless you tell them. just really your creditors and your bank.
    an IVA is a form of bankruptcy too.
    look at kattie price that failed to keep up with her £10000 a month IVA cos she owed £1.5 million.
    yes do a  sao there is always a solution to get out of debt.
    home ownership is becoming a thing if the past these days.renting is becoming more stable and allows you to move and take on new jobs much faster.
    I've owned.didnt like the 25 year debt and responsibility that came with.now I rent with council got it for life £75 a week.pick up the phone and repairs are done 
    it's got full double glazing new bathroom kitchen power shower . insulation.amazing views. new combi boiler. and if I lost my job housing benefit covers it.and if I'm  renting when I get old.so what.the rent is covered .no worries.
    pay your debt at your rate.not what the creditor demands.cos they have no power.they aren't the police.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 32,259
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    Any debt solution that you use is going to impact on your credit history and how long it may take for that to recover.
    But missing payments and having a high loan to income ratio is also going to do that. 

    It's about working out what is going to help you the most at this point in time. Your credit history will recover. It won't mean that you will be ruled out of mortgages in the future. It's just about the timings and how long that may take but it will be an issue for the foreseeable whichever option you go for.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Why do you say you won't consider bankruptcy when an IVA is just another form of insolvency?

    A DMP is not a form of insolvency.

    It is extremely rare to advise an IVA to someone who s renting they are there to protect mortgaged homes.

    You need to be honest to your partner you can't carry on with them not being aware.

    You will have to stop panicking there will be a way out, nothing terrible is going to happen if you don't pay unsecured debts for a while which will give you time to sort out the best solution


    If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.
  • ladyholly
    ladyholly Posts: 2,781
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    I think at the moment you are in full panic mode. Take a deep breath (or several) and as others have said do your soa. The people on here are very knowledgeable and helpful. No one will judge you but give you good honest advice. Many of us have been in your position and have come through it.
  • I’ve managed to get myself into a lot of debt over the years and I’ve lied to my partner about it all and it’s all come to fruition. I’m absolutely petrified and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been speaking with a few companies in regards to an IVA but again, I’m scared to go ahead with it. 

    Has anyone got any advice on what I can do? 
    First thing - take a breath. 
    Second thing - apologise to your partner. Chances are they aren't angry with you, but they feel very upset that you didn't trust them with such an important part of your life. (I speak from a position of experience on that one)
    Third thing - drop the idea that there is stigma around going bankrupt if that is the best thing for you. We don't do judgement on this board - and that includes you being judgemental of yourself.

    Then grab a cuppa and your bank/card/loan statements and get that SOA done. the sooner you do that ("format for MSE" and copy and paste into here) then the sooner we can see what might work for you as options. Don't dismiss a DMP either though - it may yet not be the right thing for you, but if it is, it would be foolish to dismiss it out of hand without really learning what it means and how it might help. 
    🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
    Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00
    Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
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  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 32,453
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    Make sure you pay the rent, whatever happens, and open a new basic bank account with someone to whom you owe nothing. Both essential whatever decision you make.
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • Rob5342
    Rob5342 Posts: 1,340
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    I’ve managed to get myself into a lot of debt over the years and I’ve lied to my partner about it all and it’s all come to fruition. I’m absolutely petrified and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been speaking with a few companies in regards to an IVA but again, I’m scared to go ahead with it. 

    Has anyone got any advice on what I can do? 

    Does your partner know about the debt now? (it's not completely clear from what you've said). Things came to a head with my partner as I hadn't told her about my debts until they got to £42,000. It felt like the worst thing in the world at the time, but actually it marked a turning point and we worked together after that and really turned things round.

    There are no easy ways out of debt, you just have to find the most suitable solution and then work your way through it instead of pushing problems further and further down the line. Once you get going it's not as bad as you imagined, and you soon start feeling a lot better as you are actually getting somewhere.
  • try selling some of the things you bought with your loans, credit cards etc.i sold lots from dvds to wedding rings , jewellery ,to cars.i sold £23000 to lower my debt balance.

    pay your debt at your rate.not what the creditor demands.cos they have no power.they aren't the police.
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