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Social housing when I own my own home

Firstly I’m in Wales. I know the title seems odd but let me try to explain my situation 

I have come to realise I am in an abusive relationship. Unfortunately before I had the realisation I gave up my job as a software developer due to my work making the abuse worse. I own my home with her and we have a mortgage and 3 children.


As a first step I just need to get my own space to recover mentally. Despite everything my partner is very good with our kids and i want the kids to stay in our house with her at least for now. I want to get back into work ASAP but I cannot do that before getting out of this situation. 

I feel I would need somewhere to go quite quickly and unfortunately I don’t have much family, am I right in thinking I likely wouldn’t be eligible for a council flat because of the house situation? Once I’m back on my feet and have a decent income again I’d probably go private but it’s going to be very tough initially 

Comments

  • Ksw3
    Ksw3 Posts: 328
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    hi OP, 

    Would you be comfortable contacting a specialist organisation who may be able to offer advice, Women's Aid and ManKind are both charities who may be able to offer guidance on your options and so carry out a risk assessment if required.

    I'm sure someone much more knowledgeable than me will comment on the housing situation. 
  • user1977
    user1977 Posts: 13,270
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    I would expect social landlords to take into account where an applicant owns a property but can't reasonably stay there - but that might not get you very far depending on their waiting list. Might be different if e.g. you were taking the kids with you.

    And I would guess they would want some sort of evidence of why you can't continue to live in the same house e.g. legal action having already been taken etc.
  • You are most likely going to end up in a hostel before any council house tbh. Not ideal by any means but at least you are free from the situation. You should definitely contact a charity to see if they can help you or at least provide specific advice.
  • deannagone
    deannagone Posts: 1,031
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    There is Mankind but also see if there is another local men's DV charity you can phone for advice.  But don't do anything until you have ascertained their advice is correct (i.e. don't move out if it is safe for you to stay there for just a bit longer).  Mentally, I was just so relieved for a private space when I lived in quite a tatty hostel, that it was heaven after where I'd been.
  • Most people who do qualify for a council flat are looking at many years on a waiting list to get one, in the meantime they're in bedsits, B&B's etc., so no you won't get a council flat and probably don't even qualify for a bedsit because you'd be seen as making yourself homeless.

    Do you have any family/friends you could ask to put you up until you find a job? It's probably hard for you to ask but it sounds like the quickest way out of your current situation.
  • deannagone
    deannagone Posts: 1,031
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    Where DV is a factor, the OP would not be judged as making themselves homeless.
  • sevenhills
    sevenhills Posts: 5,790
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    As a first step I just need to get my own space to recover mentally. Despite everything my partner is very good with our kids and i want the kids to stay in our house with her at least for now. I want to get back into work ASAP but I cannot do that before getting out of this situation. 

    I feel I would need somewhere to go quite quickly and unfortunately I don’t have much family, am I right in thinking I likely wouldn’t be eligible for a council flat because of the house situation? Once I’m back on my feet and have a decent income again I’d probably go private but it’s going to be very tough initially 


    I think it would be very difficult for the local council to give you a home quickly, but you would be a person with visiting children. So perhaps that is a different class to a single person.
    I went private when I got divorced.
  • KxMx
    KxMx Posts: 10,541
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    edited 20 November 2023 at 8:45PM
    Generally the non resident parent is not entitled to extra bedrooms within social housing, because the children are classed as adequately housed with the resident parent.

    Some providers may act differently, but they are the exception rather than the rule. 
  • sevenhills
    sevenhills Posts: 5,790
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    KxMx said:
    Generally the non resident parent is not entitled to extra bedrooms within social housing, because the children are classed as adequately housed with the resident parent.

    Some providers may act differently, but they are the exception rather than the rule. 

    Not exactly sure how the non-resident parent is treated, but they would be exempt from the bedroom tax.
  • Thanks everyone for your advice :) I may be able to sort things out peacefully so I could stay in our house temporarily but past experience tells me it would not go well.

    Mankind does say the council has to treat male victims the same as female in terms of emergency housing so perhaps I may be able to sort something temporarily.

    I have also managed to save nearly £5k through ‘beer money’ offers I’ve seen online including matched betting (not gambling) I only expected to save like £500 but I’ve had nearly 2 years of trying to get the courage to leave so it’s sort of snowballed so obviously this may be a lot of help!
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