Death of estranged parent - asking for a friend

Savvy_Sue

Quick summary of the question: as the nearest relative, does an estranged adult child HAVE to register a parent's death? 

Explanation of the question: younger friend (YF) reports that a parent has died. YF was estranged from both parents, and the remaining one has dementia (sufficiently severe that arrangements need to be made for long term care, it is clear they will not be able to return home). 

The person telling me this says that YF has a planned call to the mortuary, and please can I run through the practicalities. It doesn't sound as if YF will need to ID the body (phew) but it is possible an inquest will be needed. [The ID thing: I know of an 18 yo who was asked to travel several hundred miles to ID a parent's body following suicide. Other parent had to push quite hard against this, but apparently they weren't initially considered a suitable person to do it because they'd been divorced for some years. Compassion and common sense prevailed ...]

My bottom line to YF is that they do not need to arrange or pay for a funeral, and they do not need to arrange or pay for the other parent's care. I have recommended the cracked record technique: "I was estranged from my parents and am not intending to take any action."

But I'm thinking that registering the death is among the early things to do - and presumably they don't have to do that either? That they can, if they wish, 'carry on regardless' - although I hope they will be able to get some support to work through the very mixed emotions which are always death's baggage. 

YF isn't someone I know well, so I am encouraging the person who's asked me to help with this to keep the tea and tissues coming ... and I've recommended a pen and notebook or e-equivalent to keep track of things. 

elsien

No, they don’t have to do it. Although a relative is preferred, there may be other relatives, and if not it there are other people who can register deaths such as whoever is arranging the funeral. 
They can just say no, and keep saying no. The professionals involved will have to work their way down the list and find someone else relevant.

Savvy_Sue

elsien said:

No, they don’t have to do it. Although a relative is preferred, there may be other relatives, and if not it there are other people who can register deaths such as whoever is arranging the funeral. 
They can just say no, and keep saying no. The professionals involved will have to work their way down the list and find someone else relevant.

That is what I thought, so thanks for confirming it. 

user1977

I've registered deaths as "trainee solicitor working for the firm who were going to be dealing with the executry", you can be quite far removed from "next of kin".

Savvy_Sue

user1977 said:

I've registered deaths as "trainee solicitor working for the firm who were going to be dealing with the executry", you can be quite far removed from "next of kin".

thank you, again confirming what I thought. 

I have been skimming .gov.uk and Citizens Advice but unsurprisingly they don't give a lot of attention to what to do in the event of the death of someone you're estranged from, especially if you are not going to arrange or pay for a funeral. 

I suspect the next pressure will come from Social Services, to be involved in arrangements for the surviving parent's care, but let's take it one step at a time. 

Marcon

Savvy_Sue said:

user1977 said:

I've registered deaths as "trainee solicitor working for the firm who were going to be dealing with the executry", you can be quite far removed from "next of kin".

thank you, again confirming what I thought. 

I have been skimming .gov.uk and Citizens Advice but unsurprisingly they don't give a lot of attention to what to do in the event of the death of someone you're estranged from, especially if you are not going to arrange or pay for a funeral. 

Because it's a non-issue. Nobody can be compelled to register a death simply because they are related to the deceased. Estrangement means just that: completely removed from and almost certainly not in contact, might not even know about the death.