Splitting finances fairly

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Comments

  • london21
    london21 Posts: 2,096 Forumite
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    Communicate with your partner.

    Been married does have it's benefits. 
  • Exodi
    Exodi Posts: 2,848 Forumite
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    I actually think the answers to the OP's questions about what is fair and reasonable are entirely academic.

    If the relationship is 'pretty crappy', and the writing is on the wall, it is possible the OP is only suddenly taking note of the partners specific assets to prepare themselves for the best possible outcome in the event of a breakup.

    The OP's partner, potentially also aware the writing is on the wall, may now do everything they can to ensure they don't compromise the ownership of their assets to prepare themselves for the best possible outcome in the event of a breakup.

    There's what's fair, and what's realistic. Individuals that have squirreled away assets in their sole name over decades are unlikely to start putting things in joint names when their relationship is on the rocks. Unfortunately the OP could be a perfect case study on the purpose of marriage.
    Know what you don't
  • gwynlas said:
    Sorry to be harsh but why have you not sought the security of marriage? At the moment you have no financial security, no job security and a child to support . Only you can decide what to do but there is no joy in living in a crappy relationship.
    Presumably there's no joy in marrying into a crappy relationship either. Plus, surely it takes two to both want a marriage?
  • gwynlas said:
    Sorry to be harsh but why have you not sought the security of marriage? At the moment you have no financial security, no job security and a child to support . Only you can decide what to do but there is no joy in living in a crappy relationship.
    Presumably there's no joy in marrying into a crappy relationship either. Plus, surely it takes two to both want a marriage?

    No but the relationship cannot always have been crappy and at some point there was a decision to have a child.  I am assuming the OP is female, although it is possible this is a situation with two men, who has found herself taking on the majority of the child rearing and domestic work.  Having done so she has contributed a lot towards the family but because she did not seek the security of marriage, ideally before having a child, she now finds herself in a financially vulnerable place, legally entitled to none of her partner's assets when this relationship inevitably goes down the pooper. 

    The OP would probably be better off (financially speaking) leaving him now and trying to get him out of the business she built up and getting some child support off him.
  • DigSunPap
    DigSunPap Posts: 375 Forumite
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    Marriage is never easy! You both have to work hard for it to work.
  • Exodi
    Exodi Posts: 2,848 Forumite
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    DigSunPap said:
    Marriage is never easy! You both have to work hard for it to work.
    Thanks for your extremely generic response. While I'm not sure it will be terribly helpful for the OP, of whom is not married, I'm sure it will have helped someone.

    Also OP has not logged on since the day after creating the thread so I suspect this is done. Unfortunately from them, the advice of 'you should have got married' isn't helpful without access to a time machine.

    I think they confirmed their worst fears, that they are probably entitled to very little.
    Know what you don't
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    DigSunPap said:
    Marriage is never easy! You both have to work hard for it to work.
    I don't agree with this - if the relationship is hard work all the time, you're married to the wrong person.
    There will be difficult times in most relationships but a marriage should be a supportive, loving and safe place for both partners.
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