Please help - need to change my personal circ but debt too high

anni_

hello, 

I have been with my current partner for 10 years. We have two children together. He has untreated depression and it has become clear I need to urgently leave for the emotional well being of myself and my children. To be totally honest the current situation is emotionally abusive to me. 

We own a house and the mortgage is souly in my name. All the debts we have are also in my name. Debts were accumulated on house renovations, buying a 7 seater car and then 2 big credit cards while I’ve been on maternity leave (I go back to work this month and have completed the below based on me at work). We have always had this arrangement because he is self employed and I am an idiot.

He currently contributes £2500 a month so we can make all repayments at present. When we break up I doubt he will contribute anything. To be fair the equity in the house to date is half his, he’s always paid his half of the mortgage and we did a property up together previously. I don’t think he would ask for money out of the house immediately, I think he would be satisfied to just not have to pay and take money out when the house is sold or children older. 

Can anyone help me with options? 

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 1

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 3000

Partners monthly income after tax....... 0

Benefits................................ 160

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 3160[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 1100

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 187

Electricity............................. 152

Gas..................................... 100

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 36

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 68

TV Licence.............................. 13.25

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 63

Internet Services....................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 400

Clothing................................ 50

Petrol/diesel........................... 320

Road tax................................ 16

Car Insurance........................... 138

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0

Car parking............................. 100

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 800

Other child related expenses............ 160

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0

Buildings insurance..................... 41

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 0

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50

Haircuts................................ 0

Entertainment........................... 60

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 3854.25[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 320000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 10000

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 330000[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 195000...(1100).....3.9[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 195000....-.........-   [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Natwest CC.....................4700......50........0

Halifax........................6000......250.......0

PayPal ........................4700......150.......0

Natwest........................20000.....374.......0

Post office loan ..............21000.....363.......0

Zopa loan .....................9000......194.......0[b]

Total unsecured debts..........65400.....1381......-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 3,160

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,854.25

Available for debt repayments........... -694.25

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,381[b]

Amount short for making debt repayments. -2,075.25[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 330,000

Total HP & Secured debt................. -195,000

Total Unsecured debt.................... -65,400[b]

Net Assets.............................. 69,600[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

HampshireH

Well done for identifying the situation is no longer a healthy environment.

He will be expected to pay child maintenance.  If this is your soa based on what you're expecting then factor that in.


Things you could look to cut

* Phone contract could you go sim only or are you tied in?

*£252 for gas an elec seems high. We are 3 in a 2 bed and our average is about £160 a month across the year. Are these based on actual readings/bills or is the house quite big?

*£400 on groceries for you & 2 could be reduced with meal planning

*Get contents insurance (id say life insurance too) 

* Council tax does that include single person discount?

Are all your debts currently 0% interest?

Floss

Just a couple of things after a quick look:

Phone - when does your contract end? £68 is very high
Car fuel of £320, insurance of £138 but no servicing costs?
No contents insurance, or is it a combined policy?

anni_

Thanks both 

my house insurance is buildings and contents
i don’t have life insurance as have death in service from work and was told it’s not essential but yes I probably should get if going to be single mum.
12 months to go on phone contract and then definitely will go sim only. 

My son has severe food allergies and needs specific foods so make food bill higher but sure it could be less. 

Gas and electric has come down by £100 a month recently and is based off meter readings.
council tax single Person will do
car maintenance costs me very little as done by a friend but yes I’d need to add it. 

Debts are not 0%. I don’t even know what the interest rates are 🙈. I will try to find out and add it). 

Thanks for looking 

enthusiasticsaver

I think you would have to default on the debts if he will not contribute. That is a bigger problem than the mortgage which might be affordable if not for the unsecured debts. Are they all in your name because he was self employed? 

How old are your children and how long before you get some free hours or is that just wrap around care? 

He will have to pay child maintenance. 

Personally I would default as the interest will be frozen and you clearly cannot afford to repay. Your credit record will be trashed but more borrowing is the last thing you should be considering anyway. You can still move on to a new mortgage if you stick with the current lender but assuming he is named on the mortgage he would have to sign. I don’t think you can take it over in just  your name with all that unsecured debt. 

anni_

@enthusiasticsaver The mortgage is just in my name, everything in my name. Yes because he’s self employed.

I doubt he will pay any significant child support - I imagine he will say he’s not earning. I could be wrong. Depends how amicably we do it but I doubt it. 

My children are 9 months and 5 so a while off reducing childcare costs.

So I’m thinking step change for the unsecured debt? Can I do that and keep my house? Thank you for helping me x 

enthusiasticsaver

Ok well that makes things easier if the mortgage just in your name. Yes definitely stepchange but you have little if anything to offer towards a DMP but as childcare reduces that may help. Bankruptcy is not an option as you have house equity and a fairly expensive car. 

Plenty of people have a mortgage and a DMP. Give them a call. In the meantime think of other ways to reduce your outgoings. What is that £160 child expenses? Can you get the groceries down? Your fuel is very high so do you have a long commute? Can you cancel cable? You need emergency savings so try and build that up. 

Unfortunately self employed find it easier to avoid child maintenance. I don’t think you will get benefits on that salary though. You could say you will take it off any equity he is owed though in the house. Is his share protected by a deed of trust? He is legally obliged to pay child maintenance. Take advice on that.

anni_

@enthusiasticsaver yes I have a long commute and a 7 seater. I could definitely sell the car for smaller and more economical if it’s just the three of us. I could probably cancel cable but it’s more about the wifi - not sure I pay a huge amount for the TV. I can look at it though. Groceries are high because of medical needs (allergies)  but to be honest I haven’t needed to address it so I can’t say it’s impossible. 

The £160 is my five year olds football and gymnastics and the 9 month old baby sensory. I could cut it. It would be sad. Grandparents might help him keep on football ☹️. 

I think I can probably look at increasing my income. Seeing if I could work bank night shifts when grandparents can babysit while the kids sleep and do it for free. I don’t know how I’d go about it but in the long term it’s not impossible. I just need to act now and have a plan so I can tell him to keep his money on pay day and go find himself somewhere to live. 

We don’t have anything in writing to protect his equity in the house. I wouldn’t mess about with it though it’s really all he has. I’d want to give him
it as soon as I was able. 

Floss

anni_ said:

We don’t have anything in writing to protect his equity in the house. I wouldn’t mess about with it though it’s really all he has. I’d want to give him it as soon as I was able. 

Let's hope he is as reasonable about paying his child maintenance. ES makes a good point about reducing the equity by the maintenance due and you need to get a free 30m appointment with a family divorce lawyer to check if this is doable. If he plays the self employed card to avoid maintenance then he cannot expect you to give him all his share of equity.

fatbelly

It's in his interest to continue to support you to pay the mortgage, if the equity is all he has,

If you can keep the mortgage ticking over, the non-priority debts can go hang,

If you need to go to £1 token offers, do so, or just stop paying them. TBH if it doesn't look like you will have surplus income for a while, I wouldn't bother with the token offers. Just make sure you are banking where you don't have debts, so not RBS or Lloyds Groups.

Stateofart

Car insurance - nearly 2K per year.  Is that right?

Also, £100 on parking, can you find a free place to park?