Money Moral Dilemma: My son's friend borrowed his bike and it got stolen - should his parents pay?

Goat_Face

IF things are the way the OP described, as the parent I would cough up for a replacement because...

...it was agreed the bike could be stored there for a few days and I guess the parents were aware of a random bike hanging around. "storing" does not mean "having use of" and not locking the bike up these days is, to be honest, asking for trouble.

I am assuming the kids are good mates; a lost bike is a lost bike; annoying, but hardly the end of the world, and it is not worth causing any residual snarkiness between parents which maybe affects a childhood friendship, and if both sets of parents are mature about it, the matter can be closed amicably, no harm done, lessons learned etc.

I don't have children but if it was my kid that lost the bike there would be a serious talk about responsibility, and she/he would be paying back what I coughed up, either financially over time or through chores. 



 

theoldman66

Agent57 said:

Call the police and they will catch the criminals and return the bike.

No they won't, they'll take a report and give you a crime number. 

JAParker

Yes, the parents should replace it. 

primrose_penguin

I'm surprised the boy (depending on his age) or his parents haven't offered to either replace the bike or at least offer half towards another one. I don't understand why your son left it there, how did he get home? It is partly his responsibility so think it should be a joint purchase. If the boys have a really good friendship it would be a shame for this to spoil it, but next time perhaps he will be more careful and bring it back home with him. 

CapeTown

100% the friends parents should pay. The boy took the bike without permission.  If they haven't offered don't push it. Get a second hand bike off ebay for buttons.

Bahhumbug

It is the responsibility of the friend (and/or their parents) to compensate for or replace the bike (like for like). If this was my child and I'd had to pay out, they would then be working off their 'debt'. Would be nice not to have to wash my car for a while... and the lawn's looking a bit long too...

JLe1gh

The parents should offer to pay since their son borrowed without asking and didn't lock up. You shouldn't have to ask - but if they haven't, you will have to weigh up if it's worth losing the friendship over. Maybe they are having a finance problem they are trying to keep quiet.

mimgable

It’s up to them to come forward and offer really, which if good friends+can contribute they surely would, Depending on their finances they may not be able to but at best perhaps ask if they would contribute if you don’t think that would destroy friendships-they’re worth more than money!


. As soon as the bike/any item is handed to another party you’re effectively relinquishing your responsibility for it by choice with all the risks that has. You could have sent son back to get it or gone back yourself for it. It could have as easily been nicked from their property if not in the house. Would you expect payment then.

I’m sure we have all lent or had things ‘looked after’ that have either come back wrecked, or even not at all! It’s always a risk leaving something with someone else. It’s impossible to know what level others sense of responsibility is at. My brother borrowed a very xpensive tent. I assumed he would be using it, so hadn’t probed further. He gave it to his students to use, so it came back trashed. My fault for not asking who was using it to ensure he, not students used it.

Also whatever the kids age, they can’t always analyse/see about potential issues using it and what might happen. Was he given a lock with it to lock even if stored say in shed. Was he explicitly told not to use…if not then that’s your/sons misstep on expectation. Kids just do these things otherwise. 

Kid potentially guilt tripping anyway, so another thing in mix might be if ask parents for money they may transfer blame to him(it’s actually the thief’s), heaping more emotional baggage onto him.

there’s also a lesson in there for son too re risks of leaving stuff with others.

just things to consider as although seems simple yes/no things never that black+white

soosoosmum

The son "borrowed" the bike, regardless of age, he did so without permission. By neglecting to lock it up the bike was stolen. I would approach the parents and ask them what they would like to do as it is possible they have insurance. If not, discuss the way forward to reach a suitable and mutually agreeable solution. Personally, I would expect them to pay for a replacement but that is not my decision, it has to be the decision of the owner.

keithyno.1

Jason9091 said:

Herminator75 said:

The person borrowing, or their parents, should take responsibility. Anything less constitutes a lack of integrity. People have to understand when they need to do the right thing by their friends.

A couple of comments place responsibility on the owner, as if it is their fault/risk for lending the bike out - that view beggars belief, and can only come from the mind of a value-stripper who don’t understand the concept or  importance of moral fibre.

If I lend my watch to a six-year-old for 5 minutes and they drop it down a drain by accident, who's fault is it that I've now lost a £2k watch?

Because I'm not a value-stripper and I understand the concept and important of moral fibre, I would claim the cost back from the careless child.

I would not claim on the insurance as that would be immoral since it's not the insurance company's fault the child was so careless.

Whose fault is it that you'd lost a £2k watch? Well yours obviously, for being daft enough to lend it to a 6 year old near a drain.

And as for claiming the cost back from the careless child, well it would be good to see how you got on with THAT in the County Court!