Is it time?

xsjw

I know a lot of people say when you’re asking if it’s time to put your dog to sleep it is actually the right time but just after some advice…
13.5 year old dog - has dementia, hip arthritis, and degenerative spine disease which means he doesn’t have much strength in his back legs, trips often, and is incontinent from his bowels.
He hasn’t wanted to go on a walk for about a year now but will potter in the garden and spend the rest of the time asleep.
He will eat human food and treats - but is very reluctant to eat his main meal. We’ve tried all sorts of different food and it makes no difference - and if we feed him human food his incontinence is not manageable. He tends to eat the majority of his meal by 11pm though - just goes back and forth a few times.
Due to his dementia he doesn’t know his name anymore or commands etc so can’t take him out for the toilet etc. But he does still recognise us as gets excited when I come home and wanders over for a cuddle. 

He’s also got really bad teeth - vets have taken out as much as they can - but it means he doesn’t play with his toys anymore. 

We’re contemplating putting him to sleep because his incontinence has gotten much worse combined with his leg weakness so he is going in the house on a regular basis. Once a fortnight he’ll accidentally trample it over a carpet/rug or the sofa. And it’s just getting really hard work. We’ve got a 2 year old and another baby on the way so a bit concerned re: hygiene. 

He does seem happy when we come home etc like I said but otherwise he spends his day sleeping, pacing between living room and dining room, sitting and staring off into space, or in the garden for 5-10 mins max. So I’m concerned he doesn’t have much quality of life. 

Am I being unreasonable considering putting him to sleep?

HumberFlyer

My opinion only: You know the day is coming.... I guess he has pain but maybe not too bad at the moment.I would seriously consider saying goodbye sooner than later before his conditions deteriorate even more and he is in great pain. Give him loads of love on the day..... He will go to the rainbow bridge without great pain and peacefully. 

MattMattMattUK

Personally if I was that bad I would want to be put out of my misery, it would be the same for an animal that I cared about. 

Katiehound

No you are certainly not being unreasonable.

My thoughts: better a week too early than a day too late.

My old girl just didn't want to get out of bed one morning. I knew she wouldn't last much longer without the back legs failing completely in which case I couldn't do anything- I certainly couldn't carry a 26 kg hound.

You have to think of your own quality of life also- a needy dog is very wearing. Of course I was very sad when she went - I had had her 14 years- but I realised that a big chunk of my day was concerned with what she was doing or needing, or special meals needed making etc.....

If he is staring into space or pacing that's not exactly 'normal' behaviour.

I would certainly do the deed soon. Give him a lovely meal, say your goodbyes and stay with him whilst he falls asleep. Then turn your attention to a new baby , and perhaps a new furry friend in the future.

It's hard but you really really don't want him to carry on until he collapses in front of you. Bite the bullet: it's the kindest thing.

Thinking of you

I am still looking for my girl when there is only the one now.......

Savvy_Sue

What pushed a friend into making this decision was the imminence of Christmas, combined with increasing incontinence on the dog's part. My friend couldn't bear the thought of perhaps struggling to get a vet to grant the final mercy over the Christmas period. 

And I think I would want to consider whether it would be better to do this well before the new baby arrives, rather than close to the event, with lots of explanations and reassurances to the toddler (I'm sure there will be some good books on the subject in the library). 

SensibleSarah

My previous dog had multiple conditions towards the end - spinal issues, heart and kidney issues, balance problems etc and as soon as it got to the stage where she stopped enjoying the things she loved - food, walks, cuddles etc, I knew that keeping her going would be for my benefit and not hers - so it was time. I absolutely could have kept her ticking over for potentially months longer, but with very little quality of life for her, it wouldn't have been kind. I was absolutely devasted (still am, two years on, after adopting two more rescue dogs since) but I don't regret making the decision at that time. 

Murphybear

It’s a very hard decision to make, probably the hardest thing a pet owner has to do.

I’ve never had a dog but have had cats for most of my 70 years.  I’ve always known when it’s ready to let them go, my last cat Squeaky went downhill very quickly towards the end.  I made a firm decision, phoned the vet and after a tearful chat we took her in immediately.  The vet and staff were wonderful and she was happily curled up on a cushion at the end so my last memory of her was happy.  She was 20, a great age for a cat (in human terms she was the same age as the late Queen and David Attenborough ).  I posted on here about it and the love and support I go was wonderful.  I got a beautiful card from the vet surgery saying I had made the right decision

I think after reading your post it is time to let her go.  No, it’s not easy, but you will know it’s the right thing to do.

When your 2 year old and the new baby are a bit older maybe you could get a new dog and make some happy memories together.

love and virtual hugs

Murphybear 

TripleH

When we had our cat put to sleep it was time.

Fortunately she deteriorated quickly and it was obvious but I still lived in hope especially when she was sat in between my legs in the sunshine or on my lap eating a bit of sausage.