How has this house gone up so much?

sheramber

When do you stop comparing?  

When you have as much wealth as the King?

I do not compare my situation to any body else's and never have.  I have no doubt many people I went to school with or worked beside have got more than me but do I care? No.  

I am content with I have , which is less than many but more than some.

Mstty

@Mark_Glasses

As someone else has said on this thread the best thing you can do is stop comparing yourselves to others. Especially just in money/wealth terms.

Bitterness will eat you up.

YoungBlueEyes

Right. A different perspective. You don't know that he's "beaten you financially" 'til you see big numbers on his bank statement - it could very well all be on mortgages and credit cards etc. You might easily beat him if the test was "how much actual money can you lay your hands on right now". 

But even if he does have a bigger bunch of money than whatever you have, it could have cost him in other ways. If he's been doing the houses up himself he might have wrecked his knees/wrists and have knackered his back, while you're in great shape altogether because you've been sat in an office these last x years. Maybe you've a bit of a gut but that'll soon melt off if start exercising. Would you honestly want a fat bank balance if it'd be in place of knees that don't bend without shooting pains and wrists that ache in the rain and a back that'll never be right again? His lungs might be wrecked from all the paint/glue/chemical fumes he's been breathing in. He might have skin cancer coming down the line from all the time he's spent working outside. If he's solely focused on making more and more and more money it might have cost him his marriage. Or marriages. 

See? Now doesn't that make you feel better.

BikingBud

Many people offered similar advice on your previous thread: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6455887/sliding-doors-moment-ruined-my-life#latest

I feel that all still applies but perhaps the first improvement is to set your own independent goals, not always be in comparison or competition to this other party.

Footballers earn much more, in a year, than I ever will in my lifetime - am I bothered - no they do not influence my life in any way
Some entrepreneurs also apparently earn masses of money - am I bothered - no they do not influence my life in any way

They may have had the breaks and you all the tough luck but a broader perspective of those who are truly unlucky, (just read the news, floods, wild fires etc elsewhere in the world) may enable you to consider your position of relative health, wealth and success.

jimbog

Don’t compare your financial status with others. You can’t take it with you (they don’t make hearses with towbars) 

Mark_Glasses

@johnhenstock surely these places are the exception rather than the rule. I've seen luxury apartments where you've had a swimming pool and cinema in the apartment block but the flats themselves are tiny. Also the first insight I had into London property when I was a youngster was on some property show where these houses in Kensington were in-fact several flats which were tiny and notoriously expensive.

@RelievedSheff it's more that fact I've not achieved my goals but he has. If he can achieve them then I should be able to.

@lookstraightahead I took the approach of follow your dreams and the money would follow. It never did and without money these aren't really my dreams.

@Slinky probably not. He didn't sound very happy when he told me his wife makes more money than him though.

@sheramber several years ago before I moved to London but was looking to move there my dad asked me what this person was up to these days. I told him and my dads response was so everything you've ever wanted to do then.

@Mstty it probably has

@YoungBlueEyes It's true that I haven't seen his bank balance. His job is office based plus he travels a lot for work so I doubt he has the physical pain he describes. What I do know is he's made £440k from his property simply going up in value.

@bikingbud what I'm doing here is putting my misery at work to one side and trying to fulfill other areas of my life.

@jimbog I have nothing to take with me anyway.

Mstty

It's not worth the sleepless nights or ulcers to be honest.

Some us luck but mostly it's head down move on and up.

In seperate leaps we have seen the following from property since year 2000

£67,500 - £127,500
157,500 - £255,000
319,995 - £495,000

Cashed out here a bit to add two more rentals to the existing rental family portfolio

£275,000 - £325,000 cash purchase sold within 8 weeks
£370,000 - £507,500 slight reo £40k wet rooms kitchen full decoration and flooring throughout.
£595,000 - £695,000 brand new desirable area and desirable local builder(current very low estimate) £125k owing 3 years left on our 2.29% fix will spank this down as much as possible over the next 3 years.

Plus the two rentals in the portfolio £40k owing on a fix for three years BTL 2% will pay those off before the end of the fix. They are worth £225k each very conservative pricing.

I try and stress this to every FTB always buy a house if you can stretch to it the bigger gains are with houses and always look to move up and onwards rather than that flashy 10k holiday when you are young. Work hard when young to enjoy your 40's.

One day we will cash up and travel the world perhaps for my 50th. Depending on pension pots and forecast etc. Not that I can cash in 25% until at least 57 now they are suggesting moving the goalposts again.

Even now though I'm slightly envious of the new 911 sitting on my best friends driveway, his massive pension pot from his high six figure salary and shares but he's worked damn hard, put the university years in and supported his lovely wife and kids to secure their future.

Is this the human condition you can never have enough and why we are locusts upon this planet?

Be an ant, not a locust lol.

Mark_Glasses

@Mstty that's the approach I've taken but now I'm in my 40s I have nothing to show for it. Some of it is to do with bad decisions on my part. He bought his first property in his mid-20s in 2007 with no deposit. I opted to wait until my career was up and running not realising that after 2008 you'd need a 25% deposit to buy a property which resulted in not being able to afford somewhere until I was in my mid-30s 10 years later for a lot more than I would have paid in 2007. Nothing I can do about that now but I'm trying desperately to rectify it.

sheramber

So  the problem is not about the value of his house increasing but you envy of his lifestyle because your choices  in life have not resulted in the same 'success'.

MeteredOut

Mark_Glasses said:

@sheramber several years ago before I moved to London but was looking to move there my dad asked me what this person was up to these days. I told him and my dads response was so everything you've ever wanted to do then.

I'm no therapist, but i can't help but wonder if this parenting technique has led to this apparent envy.

You really need to find a way to live your own life.