Scared and stupid!

DebtDisaster_3

Am a newbie and had my lightbulb moment about 5 years to late! The debt itself isn't the bit that scares me, it's having to admit to my partner that I'm an idiot, a mess, a liability.

We currently don't live together but want to but now can't see that happening! (He has a dependant from previous relationship so can't possibly support us all!) Am ashamed, embarrased, and scared that I'll lose the only thing in my life that makes me truely happy. I have made a mess of my life and can't do the same to him! It's back to bedsit land for me which is a huge psychological step backwards. Better than an IVA I guess which is staring me in the face!

I need to find a way of reducing the amount it's costing me to service my debt so at least my payments will start to reduce it. My credit rating is rubbish though so scared of doing any searches coz a refusal will make it worse!

Sorry for the moan, not in a good place at the moment but encouraged by the success stories I've been reading! Need to do my SOA but that's a job for tomorrow with a clearer head. Can only get better, will be smiling again soon I hope!

Triker

:wave: Welcome to DFW land DD, just try to stop worrying as your here now and we'll do what we can to guide and support you in sorting some of this out.

Try to sort out your SOA for tomorrow and then some of us can have a looksy for you and see what can be done. XX

Tonight try to relax, you've taken your first big step to sorting this out, congratulations.:T

DebtDisaster_3

Thank you triker, first time in ages I've had some post that's not a demand for money! Tommorow will be better fingers x'd! :-)

Triker

DebtDisaster wrote: »

Thank you triker, first time in ages I've had some post that's not a demand for money! Tommorow will be better fingers x'd! :-)

Hey no worries hun, you are now firmly surrounded by friends now who will do what they can to support you. Try to stop worrying so much about telling your partner because when you do decide to tell him you can also show him your plan to sort out your debt problems. So it's a kind of 'bad news, good news' situation really isn't it?:D

As he no doubt loves you to pieces the fact that you have been tying yourself up in knots will no doubt upset him more than you telling him.xx

Triker

BTW it's never to late to have a lightbulb moment.

I've had them frequently.:D

yellowmonkey

Hi

You are not a disaster at all and dont think that way. You are facing up to your problems and trying to sort them out. Well done you :T

As Triker says you will get great help here and you may be surprised about your OH's reaction. Good luck on your journey and well done for posting

ym

HBFS

Welcome to DFW.

You will definitely get all the help and support you need to turn your debts around. We are all here for you!

DebtDisaster_3

Thank you everybody! Means a lot! Working through my to-do list at mo, do my SOA, cancel any non vital direct debits, get myself a sealed pot, do the snowball thing, make appt with CAB, speak to CCCS, oh and get a property guide! Will speak to OH but not till after xmas, don't want to ruin it for him! Gonna be a long slog but will get there! Thanks again!

doodledo_2

Hi and welcome to the board.

It's never too late to have your LBM. Some people never even have one.

You have come to the right place for help and support. When you get time post up your SOA and you will be amazed the help you will get.

itsgototstop

well done you, the hardest thing is facing up to it, once you have things are easier[I

best of luck, this board is great and will help you

bank_of_slate

Hi Debt disaster, after just taking a few simple steps you'll be amazed how much better you feel.
And may I suggest that you change your name on here to Debt healer.
Looking at it negatively is a self fulfilling prophecy.
...Linda xx