Mid 30's, Single Mum, £30k debt and Moving back with Parents

budgeting_mum89

Hey! Brace yourselves, because its a long one!

I'm a long term lurker on these boards and thought I'd make my own debt free wannabe diary, purely to keep me accountable and having things written in black and white makes everything much clearer for me. 

I'm 34, a single mum to 2 boys (one with ADHD and Autism) and I somehow have managed to get myself into a ton of debt. Completely my own fault, may I add. 

My name is Em and a few months ago I moved me and the kids back to my childhood home for various reasons. My mum passed away a few years and my dad hadn't been coping, his mental health had deteriorated quite badly, and last year the depression peaked. It was actually his idea for us to move back, we would both save money, and he would get company, whilst being able to help me with the kids while I helped him with his household. We kept putting it off due to other things going on, but we bit the bullet and actually, so far so good! 

So, to the money! I earn a pretty decent wage at work and due to my sons disabilities, in total, per month after tax I bring in around £3500. On paper I should be living very well, to be honest I spend more than I should though.

But I have:

Car Finance £160/m
Loan 1 £350/m
Loan 2 £230/m
Loan 3 £229/m

Credit Card Balances over 3 cards totaling £410
Very totaling £600

The total of all the debts is £30,200 ish. And I have NOTHING to show for it. NOTHING.

But, I get by, my kids don't go without and we still enjoy life. But I want to be debt free well before I hit the big 4-0.

Per month, before moving, I brought in 3500, spent 1800 on bills (not inc food, gas, electric or diesel and i will tell you why in a moment) 

For years I was obsessed with the Cash Envelope System (Cash Stuffing they call it now). So for years, I have loosely followed it. My method now is to transfer £180-£200 a week to my Monzo card and use that for everything I need for a week, inc the electric, gas, diesel, food and £20 spending money for my purse).

I then had my sinking funds, had great intensions of filling them all to their goals, but ended up really on concentrating on Christmas', birthdays and holidays, which is fine, but ended up spending from my regular account for other things like days out etc. 

(I have ADHD too so forgive any tangents I go off on!)

My new situations alters things for me, my income is the same, but my bills are now £1200.

So my debt pay-off plan is as follows:

August (In general I should have around £400 I can put to debts, but this month I have my final rent and Council Tax payment for my old house): Pay off 280 to my small debts (this will pay off 2 credit cards, half of the third one and a bit off my very balance)

September £400 - Pay off the last CC and 244 to Very, leaving Very with only 329 left, which will be paid off in Oct. 

Once the above is paid, the £350-£400 a month I can pay to debt will go towards overpayments on my loans! I could pay more than this, but I have my sinking funds to fund, and I want to put money away to ensure my boys have good birthdays and Christmas'. 

**I wont be paying rent here, but I will be paying the Sky TV, the electricity, dads mobile contract (we have my dads and my kids phones all on my account anyway as I get a good nhs discount with EE), the food shopping and I do all the washing and washing up ** 

I'm not writing this to get loads of people reading it (that would be nice though) this is for me to try and plan things out, update and hopefully stop spending aimlessly lol! Hopefully update a few times a week to try to keep myself right.

July:

CC Balance:   409
Very Balance: 600 

budgeting_mum89

Also to add, I just saw that I originally started a diary in Feb 2022, and apparently my debts were around 17k...so yeah, I've managed to rake up 13k in debt in a year. I am disgusted! But I earn more money now, and I feel confident that this time I'm seriously going to manage to get my life in order!!

enthusiasticsaver

Welcome out of lurkdom and it sounds like you have a good plan.  Many people with ADHD do struggle with managing money so if you are able to keep within budget you are doing well.  The cash envelope is a great system.  Good that living with your Dad is working ok too.  

I assume the loans were debt consolidation loans? For future reference those don't work in paying off debts.  Good that you have called a halt to building up debts on the cards again though and once Very and the credit cards are cleared maybe cut them up and don't use them? 

Have you done an soa and do you have any emergency savings? 

budgeting_mum89

Yeah, I think I spent about 2 years taking out loans to pay off other loans, instead of just biting away at the debt. Hindsight is a great thing  

I don't have an EF yet, but def need to make that a priority as well. I think this is the most motivated I have been to clear my debts and NOT RACK UP ANY MORE!

Due to having my dad in the house for the kids, I've been able to pop out to the gym early in the morning before work so that's helping my mental health and also my joints, I have a connective tissue disorder and get severe joint pain. Also I'm a fat cow   food lover that needs to drop a few stone!  

I would love to be debt free before or between July and December 2027 so I know that I am going to have to stop spending willy nilly on things I don't need, takeaways, etc. 

Time to get my big girl pants on and start taking responsibility for my silly mistakes.