Urgent help with Cohabitee rights and joing mortgate - un married couple

DrewettN

Hi I have been trying to search Gov website in regards to my rights - but its a minefield.
Basically myself and my ex partner have a mortgage together - he left - now not paying any CMS (different battle) and hasnt paid a penny towards mortgage in over year. With the rise in interest rates I am now struggling to cover the mortgage - he refuses to allow me to enter a new fixed rate or extend the term.  I have asked if he will agree to allow me to apply for a SMI as I am on Universal Credits.  We have 3 children that I am solely supporting and paying mortgage - any idea how I can get this to court - I know family court will hear this case but dont know how to get it to court

p00hsticks

Who is living in the property ?

tightauldgit

DrewettN said:

Hi I have been trying to search Gov website in regards to my rights - but its a minefield.
Basically myself and my ex partner have a mortgage together - he left - now not paying any CMS (different battle) and hasnt paid a penny towards mortgage in over year. With the rise in interest rates I am now struggling to cover the mortgage - he refuses to allow me to enter a new fixed rate or extend the term.  I have asked if he will agree to allow me to apply for a SMI as I am on Universal Credits.  We have 3 children that I am solely supporting and paying mortgage - any idea how I can get this to court - I know family court will hear this case but dont know how to get it to court

Presumably you are living in the property and your ex partner isn't? 

It's going to be a difficult one and not one that will be resolved in the short term unless you come to an agreement between yourselves.

Is there any sense from your side of what resolution he wants? Is he looking for you to sell the house and give him his share of the equity? That might be what has to happen in any case.

In the immediate term I don't think there's any way you can force them to pay the mortgage or to sign up to anything that they don't agree with. 

The nuclear option is to stop paying anything yourself and let the bank go through repossession processes.

I'm not an expert on unmarried couples but my understanding is that you have to go through court with what they call a TOLATA case - but I really would suggest that you need to talk to a solicitor about that. I would imagine any court outcome would be 6-12 months minimum.

In the meantime you might have more success pushing for your CMS payments in order to get some short term income. 

DrewettN

I am with our 3 children, all under 18, and my youngest is disabled

pinkshoes

DrewettN said:

Hi I have been trying to search Gov website in regards to my rights - but its a minefield.
Basically myself and my ex partner have a mortgage together - he left - now not paying any CMS (different battle) and hasnt paid a penny towards mortgage in over year. With the rise in interest rates I am now struggling to cover the mortgage - he refuses to allow me to enter a new fixed rate or extend the term.  I have asked if he will agree to allow me to apply for a SMI as I am on Universal Credits.  We have 3 children that I am solely supporting and paying mortgage - any idea how I can get this to court - I know family court will hear this case but dont know how to get it to court

I assume he is paying rent elsewhere? Usually when people split up then you have to pay your own accommodation costs, so if he is not living there and has additional living costs you cannot expect him to pay the mortgage.

Also, by fixing he is then stuck on the mortgage for another fixed period. It would be much easier to sell the property then get him to agree to letting you have the higher amount of equity so you can perhaps afford to buy something smaller. Expectations on standards of livings have to change when relationships break down. If he cannot afford to pay both mortgage as well as renting elsewhere then there isn't much you can do.

The CMS is a different matter - start a claim ASAP. He needs to be paying this. 

Spendless

Partner as in you went through a civil marriage partner or live in boyfriend? If you went through a legal ceremony then in the event of a split if you were deemed to be together long enough then all assets would be looked at and split fairly according to need. If you mean you lived with him and no legal ceremony then that won't be the case.

For the mortgage in both your names the provider can come after either of you for payments it's not that you both pay 50/50. If you can't afford the mortgage on your own then I can see why he doesn't want  his name to be tied into a deal for x amount of years. You might need to take some legal advise to understand the whole process but be prepared for the possibility that the property may have to be sold.

Regardless of what the property/mortgage situation is, he should be paying child maintenance.  

Stateofart

I think OP needs ex on the mortgage otherwise the bank won't lend to her.  Sell and move to a smaller property and give half of the equity to ex OR buy ex out and use maintenance to top up your house payments.  If you can't afford the house on your own, you need to work out a way of downsizing. 

Exodi

DrewettN said:

Hi I have been trying to search Gov website in regards to my rights - but its a minefield.
Basically myself and my ex partner have a mortgage together - he left - now not paying any CMS (different battle) and hasnt paid a penny towards mortgage in over year. With the rise in interest rates I am now struggling to cover the mortgage - he refuses to allow me to enter a new fixed rate or extend the term.  I have asked if he will agree to allow me to apply for a SMI as I am on Universal Credits.  We have 3 children that I am solely supporting and paying mortgage - any idea how I can get this to court - I know family court will hear this case but dont know how to get it to court

Having been through a breakup involving a house myself, I completely appreciate how difficult it when you're in the thick of it

But as tough as it may be to hear, you need to consider the situation from both sides, the comments on this thread are completely valid and I think you're only thinking of it from your side (totally normal and probably subconsciously trying to get the best outcome for the kids).

If you're still living in the house and he is not, it's not fair to expect him to pay half the mortgage while he also has to pay rent on the place he's living. Usually in this sort of scenario, one person would cover the mortgage and the other would cover their rent.

Please don't mistake two parties being 'jointly and severally liable' for the mortgage as meaning that both people are expected to pay 50/50 of the mortgage every month. It just means that you are both responsible for the mortgage, and the lender will be entitled to come after both of you for the full amount. Obviously it's relatively common for stay at home mums to not financially contribute to a joint mortgage (it goes without saying that they contribute in countless other ways).

Your ex may just be wanting to move on and presumably he has equity tied up in the house, so his preference may be to sell the house and split the proceeds accordingly. It's not suprising that he's not amenable to your suggestion to fix the mortgage, significantly hindering the ability to sell. Similarly the SMI is a non-starter because it is lodged as a charge against the house - so for the same reasons above it's a) effectively subsidising your ability to continue living in the house (effectively he's absorbing part of your housing costs on top of his rent) , b) delays a sale

Try and look at this from an outside perspective, what is it you want? It's probably not realistic to expect your ex to pay towards the mortgage, pay his rent, pay for CM for three children (though, definitely pursue the CM claim) all while remaining liable for a mortgage he no longer has anything to do with and agreeing to forget about the equity tied up in the house.

I think once you manage to detach yourself from the situation and take the emotion out of if in thinking "he's winning" or whatever, you'll probably find it's easier to just sell the house, split the proceeds and move on with your lives. The longer the sale is delayed, the more equity you will be handing him.

Exodi

Stateofart said:

I think OP needs ex on the mortgage otherwise the bank won't lend to her.  Sell and move to a smaller property and give half of the equity to ex OR buy ex out and use maintenance to top up your house payments.  If you can't afford the house on your own, you need to work out a way of downsizing. 

I'd say you're almost certainly correct.

I don't think SMI would have been considered if the OP could just buy the ex out and the OP mentions they are in receipt of Universal Credit.

Forcing the ex to stay on the mortgage is a non-starter imo, I can't see a court having a different opinion either.

Couples splitting are rarely able to maintain the same standard of living after a split and unfortunately they are not married.