Holiday costs following relationship breakdown

savagelyric

Hi all. I'd like some opinions on the fair thing to do in this situation please.
Booked a holiday for Aug 2023 with partner at the time but we have recently parted ways. We both paid £192 deposit and I've paid the balance of £1157 (a week before splitting up as luck would have it).
We'd agreed that I'll go solo on the holiday and I've informed the holiday company who have advised I'll get £320 refund. The query is, should I paid back my ex his deposit of £192 out of the £320 refund? I'm tempted to, just to avoid the aggravation! 

HillStreetBlues

No I wouldn't be handing any money over.
Your ex partner isn't going so they have lost their deposit.

I take it they didn't want to give you the balance you paid and go their self.

HampshireH

Why shouldn't your ex get their deposit back if you are getting a refund?

savagelyric

HillStreetBlues said:

No I wouldn't be handing any money over.
Your ex partner isn't going so they have lost their deposit.

I take it they didn't want to give you the balance you paid and go their self.

It was discussed and I would have been OK with that but the trip was primarily something I wanted to do so he was happy for me to go.

savagelyric

HampshireH said:

Why shouldn't your ex get their deposit back if you are getting a refund?

This is what I'm trying to work out!! As it stands, he has paid £192 and I've paid £1349.
It's a partial refund of £320, which means I'm paying over £1200 to go solo. If we'd cancelled, we would have only got £193 back each (which wouldn't have covered his deposit as I paid the balance).

Spendless

No, that's the point of deposits. You lose them if you don't go!  You're already paying a lot more for the holiday than you anticipated doing, so it's tough and if you start getting aggro block him!

tightauldgit

savagelyric said:

Hi all. I'd like some opinions on the fair thing to do in this situation please.
Booked a holiday for Aug 2023 with partner at the time but we have recently parted ways. We both paid £192 deposit and I've paid the balance of £1157 (a week before splitting up as luck would have it).
We'd agreed that I'll go solo on the holiday and I've informed the holiday company who have advised I'll get £320 refund. The query is, should I paid back my ex his deposit of £192 out of the £320 refund? I'm tempted to, just to avoid the aggravation! 

Well it's really one of those questions where it depends what you want to get out of it. What is it you are worried about?

Legally? I'm sure he would have no claim on any money

Morally? Well it probably depends what you agreed when you decided you would go on the holiday and he wouldn't. Was it discussed? I mean if you said 'i'll go and i'll pay you back your deposit' it would be wrong to go back on that now

Practically? Do you expect aggravation about it? Are you happy enough to give them the money for an easy life? I mean if I were in their shoes I don't think I would be expecting my deposit back unless you have told them you would. 

Maybe a fair compromise would be to say that you got 20 percent of the holiday refunded so you'll pay them back 20% of their deposit? Or maybe the easiest thing is just to say nothing and wait to see if they ask?

savagelyric

tightauldgit said:

savagelyric said:

Hi all. I'd like some opinions on the fair thing to do in this situation please.
Booked a holiday for Aug 2023 with partner at the time but we have recently parted ways. We both paid £192 deposit and I've paid the balance of £1157 (a week before splitting up as luck would have it).
We'd agreed that I'll go solo on the holiday and I've informed the holiday company who have advised I'll get £320 refund. The query is, should I paid back my ex his deposit of £192 out of the £320 refund? I'm tempted to, just to avoid the aggravation! 

Well it's really one of those questions where it depends what you want to get out of it. What is it you are worried about?

Legally? I'm sure he would have no claim on any money

Morally? Well it probably depends what you agreed when you decided you would go on the holiday and he wouldn't. Was it discussed? I mean if you said 'i'll go and i'll pay you back your deposit' it would be wrong to go back on that now

Practically? Do you expect aggravation about it? Are you happy enough to give them the money for an easy life? I mean if I were in their shoes I don't think I would be expecting my deposit back unless you have told them you would. 

Maybe a fair compromise would be to say that you got 20 percent of the holiday refunded so you'll pay them back 20% of their deposit? Or maybe the easiest thing is just to say nothing and wait to see if they ask?

I just want to do the right thing by both of us. It's horrible enough ending a relationship without feeling like you've been screwed over with money.

Spendless

savagelyric said:

tightauldgit said:

savagelyric said:

Hi all. I'd like some opinions on the fair thing to do in this situation please.
Booked a holiday for Aug 2023 with partner at the time but we have recently parted ways. We both paid £192 deposit and I've paid the balance of £1157 (a week before splitting up as luck would have it).
We'd agreed that I'll go solo on the holiday and I've informed the holiday company who have advised I'll get £320 refund. The query is, should I paid back my ex his deposit of £192 out of the £320 refund? I'm tempted to, just to avoid the aggravation! 

Well it's really one of those questions where it depends what you want to get out of it. What is it you are worried about?

Legally? I'm sure he would have no claim on any money

Morally? Well it probably depends what you agreed when you decided you would go on the holiday and he wouldn't. Was it discussed? I mean if you said 'i'll go and i'll pay you back your deposit' it would be wrong to go back on that now

Practically? Do you expect aggravation about it? Are you happy enough to give them the money for an easy life? I mean if I were in their shoes I don't think I would be expecting my deposit back unless you have told them you would. 

Maybe a fair compromise would be to say that you got 20 percent of the holiday refunded so you'll pay them back 20% of their deposit? Or maybe the easiest thing is just to say nothing and wait to see if they ask?

I just want to do the right thing by both of us. It's horrible enough ending a relationship without feeling like you've been screwed over with money.

Well I'm guessing he ended it, since you only paid the full balance yourself only a week before and exactly why didn't he pay his share at that point? My guess is cos he knew the relationship was ending. He didn't just decide to wake up that morning and end things did he? 

He's not been screwed over by money. He's lost a deposit and that's usua if you decide you no longer wish to go on something you bookedl. You however have paid double what you expected to and will have to take any lows (and highs of course) of being a solo traveller. If anyone has been screwed over with money it's you  cos your ex could have spoken up before the balance was due leaving you to both lose your deposit on a cancelled hol and chose not to. That you've put in your opening post that you wish to avoid the aggravation tells me that you anticipate it!  

theoretica

Alternatively for about £500 you could break even inviting a friend along - if you could swap to a twin bed room.  The 300 refund you would otherwise get and giving your partner back the 192.  Plus any name change fees.