Money Moral Dilemma: Is it unreasonable to ask my friends to pay me for taking them to the pub?

dales1

You were going to drive anyway, so it's not cost you anything at all.

Tell them they are welcome, and take the moral high-ground.

Be generous, not penny-scraping, in life.

Bookhaven

It's pretty clear that it isn't so much the driving there as you would have done that anyway - it's more that you feel taken for granted. You're obviously feeling quite resentful about this, which is understandable, and if you let it fester it's going to spoil your friendship. So you really have to decide how you're going to approach this. Perhaps you could gently let them know that you would like the opportunity to relax and have a drink without having to worry about driving back, and suggest that you all share the driving. If they don't have cars (perfectly possible if they're taking the bus), then say that you'd like to cut back the car trips to every other week, and that you'll come on the bus with them. If they aren't happy with this, then you could point out that you've been saving them the cost of the bus fares and/or the cost of a taxi and ask if they have any suggestions. It might not be as much of a problem to approach them as you think - often it's that people are thoughtless rather than deliberately taking advantage. 

Smick100

Do you have insurance which allows you to convey passengers for hire or reward?

The chances of being caught out will be quite small, but you're breaking the law if you don't.

kashley61

 I don't drink and have mobility issues so getting in some cars/taxis is an issue so i drive if i go out with friends [ not every week though...monthly]. I would be driving anyway so i would never ask for money. Recently it was my birthday and the friends i pick bought me pressies[ we don't buy for each other] to say thank you. I was very happy that they had been thoughtful. I would say if it's an issue speak to them or get the bus also.

MandoTopDog

I think you should suggest you all take turn about at driving.  That would be quite fair.  I feel I should say if I go on a night out I always take my car, as it is much more convenient and safe than having to hang about waiting on a taxi late at night.  I personally just have a soft drink.  I'm quite happy doing that. 

mikey9t8t3

If you're going that way anyway and picking them up is not out of your way then why would you charge them? Why would you even let them consider getting a bus?
If it is out of your way, then your friends should understand when you tell them that it's a bit out of the way and you'd rather meet at the pub. 
Are there not nearer venues to your friends that could be used or near you that they could get to?

Bonnypitlad

I’d say to your friends “ there’s a really interesting money morals dilemma on the MSE Newsletter this week “

emmajnation

Smick100 said:

Do you have insurance which allows you to convey passengers for hire or reward?

The chances of being caught out will be quite small, but you're breaking the law if you don't.

You are allowed to charge a fee for carrying passengers as long as it only covers fuel/wear and tear; you’re not allowed to make a profit. The ABI’s website says:
“All ABI motor insurers have agreed that your insurance cover will not be affected if your passengers contribute towards your journey costs (including fuel, vehicle depreciation and associated vehicle running costs), as long as lifts are given in a vehicle seating eight passengers or less.”

gerrag

Some questions for the OP:-

Beyond your direct return-route to the pub, what's the extra mileage in picking up/dropping off?
How much is the extra cost in fuel?
Why not suggest that your friends take the bus to the pub and you can drop them off on the way back?

A suggestion for the OP:-

If it's costing you more than you're comfortable with, and this really bothers you, then nip it in the bud and find a way of raising it diplomatically. If they're good friends, they'll surely recognise your concerns and mitigate your costs by offering to buy your soft drinks for the evening (it's not going to cost them a fortune for 3-4 glasses of your favourite non-alcoholic drink/snacks).

I guess it's a question of balancing the value of friendship versus the cost of meeting them. Only you can make that decision.


  

Chris_Jay

Smick100 and emajination - I was wondering about the taxi thing, by asking or offering money to a driver, as I had heard, years ago, that it changed the status of giving a lift to plying for trade. Thank you for clearing that up, for me, anyway.
I neither drink nor drive, but do like to have social evenings out with friends, who do pick me up and bring me home again, and always refuse my offer to contribute to petrol, even if they have to take a detour for me. (I'm disabled and in my late sixties, and my friends are all a bit younger than me) 
Maybe the OP just wants to feel that the friends do appreciate the lifts, and by making the offer they're acknowledging their good luck in having a generous friend.
Gerrag - soft drinks aren't necessarily cheaper than alcoholic drinks, something that my non-drinking driver-friend and I grind our teeth over regularly.