Ex refuses to settle on property holding me hostage

TBagpuss

You need to see a solicitor. Look for one who deals with ToLATA cases - this will usually be the litigation department but in some firms may be covered under the family law department- if you specify when you make the initial enquiry that you are asking about a TOLATA case they will be able to book your appointment with the right person.

 They will be able to advise you about how to proceed, however , as this kind of case are dealt with under normal litigation rules not family proceedings, courts can and do award costs, so if you are offering to buy him out or to settle in accordance with your declaration of trust, he is likely to wind up liable for your costs if he refuses / is obstructive. 

If he is uncooperative, ultimate a court can make orders to allow paperwork to be signed on his behalf by a Judge or by the conveyancing solicitors so there are ways to get matters resolved even if he refuses to cooperate at all. 

bluelass

Sparky9999 said:

Under the premise that this was going to be a future marital home, I purchased a flat with an ex. He has NEVER lived there, never contributed to a single bill, upkeep or anything. He only contributed to the deposit. After the property was purchased his behaviour changed and coercive control began. He also said he didn't want to live in the area and that we should look to purchase another. (My earnings were higher and were the only reason we would qualify for mortgages). Thankfully I got out and escaped this. This followed by a campaign of stalking and harassment which stopped when I threatened to call police. 

He now refuses to cooperate and agree a way out and I'm stuck on a follow on rate.  Does anyone have any advice or recommendations for decent solicitors or barristers who could handle a case like this without me losing my home of 15 years. 

I really feel for you. I divorced almost four years ago and I still have not received my settlement.
My ex husband refuses to sign the documents and sell up or buy me out.
This is out of spite because I am remarrying someone who is from a wealthy family and I am giving evidence against him in court in August for coercive control with a possible custodial sentence.

Sparky9999

TBagpuss said:

You need to see a solicitor. Look for one who deals with ToLATA cases - this will usually be the litigation department but in some firms may be covered under the family law department- if you specify when you make the initial enquiry that you are asking about a TOLATA case they will be able to book your appointment with the right person.

 They will be able to advise you about how to proceed, however , as this kind of case are dealt with under normal litigation rules not family proceedings, courts can and do award costs, so if you are offering to buy him out or to settle in accordance with your declaration of trust, he is likely to wind up liable for your costs if he refuses / is obstructive. 

If he is uncooperative, ultimate a court can make orders to allow paperwork to be signed on his behalf by a Judge or by the conveyancing solicitors so there are ways to get matters resolved even if he refuses to cooperate at all. 

Thank you for this, do you happen to know any good TOLATA solicitors in London ? It's been hard finding good help. There is also an angle of emotional abuse here, coercive control as it's now called so wondering if a judge would also take this into account ?  I think not resolving this is his way of punishing me 

TBagpuss

Sparky9999 said:

TBagpuss said:

You need to see a solicitor. Look for one who deals with ToLATA cases - this will usually be the litigation department but in some firms may be covered under the family law department- if you specify when you make the initial enquiry that you are asking about a TOLATA case they will be able to book your appointment with the right person.

 They will be able to advise you about how to proceed, however , as this kind of case are dealt with under normal litigation rules not family proceedings, courts can and do award costs, so if you are offering to buy him out or to settle in accordance with your declaration of trust, he is likely to wind up liable for your costs if he refuses / is obstructive. 

If he is uncooperative, ultimate a court can make orders to allow paperwork to be signed on his behalf by a Judge or by the conveyancing solicitors so there are ways to get matters resolved even if he refuses to cooperate at all. 

Thank you for this, do you happen to know any good TOLATA solicitors in London ? It's been hard finding good help. There is also an angle of emotional abuse here, coercive control as it's now called so wondering if a judge would also take this into account ?  I think not resolving this is his way of punishing me 

I don't think we are supposed to make specific recommendations like that here.. Some solicitors will offer a free of fixed price initial meeting so you can talk to the solicitor, and get a feel for whether you are comfortable with them. 

Sparky9999

Thank you, I have called a few but really hard to guage who is good. Some have not even heard of TOLATA!  A barrister wanted £1500 just to give advice in a video call not even written hence I thought I'd ask around. A few referred me elsewhere but the referrals haven't been able to help either 

LadyWithAPlan

Try going to the citizen advice bureau - they have lists of lawyers and also legal aid solicitors

tightauldgit

Sparky9999 said:

Thank you, I have called a few but really hard to guage who is good. Some have not even heard of TOLATA!  A barrister wanted £1500 just to give advice in a video call not even written hence I thought I'd ask around. A few referred me elsewhere but the referrals haven't been able to help either 

I would have thought that specialists in family law would at least have familiarity with TOLATA but yes I would expect it to be an expensive process. 

Exodi

To play devils advocate, after carefully reading the thread, I don't think the ex is refusing to sell as some have interpreted, they are refusing to agree on the OP's offer. These are two entirely different things.

Sparky9999 said:

the issue is getting the title deed signed. Yes he is demanding a lot.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's pretty obvious how we arrived in this situation if we read the OP's comments:

- The OP bought the house they were renting because they were personally attached to it
- The ex wasn't happy with the purchase, stating he didn't want to live in the area and wanted to purchase a different property
- They break up

If there is a disagreement in a relationship (e.g. buying a property the other partner doesn't truly want) then it is unsuprising this escalates into negative behaviours.

It is further obvious of why we find ourselves in the current situation:

- The OP may feel the ex is entitled to very little, on the grounds they only contributed the deposit and nothing else
- The ex may be unwilling to be negotiate, potentially harboring resentment around the purchase in the first place.

Fortunately for you both, you own as Tenants in Common with a Deed of Trust in place - so you shouldn't be a million miles apart on the figure. What does it say you are both entitled to? Did you make him an offer in line with the Deed of Trust, or less because you feel he has not fairly contributed?

Being realistic, courts are faced with allegations of harassment/undocumented abuse/etc tacked on to disputes day in and day out. I think they are unlikely to force your ex to accept your offer, and encourage negotiation/compromise between you both.

Most people are not against having their name taken off deeds of houses they don't live in (as being on the deeds has a negative impact on buying another house), or being given a windfall that they did not contribute towards.

This whole issue seems to be the sum agreed. I felt hard done by agreeing the figure for a buy out with my ex, I felt like I paid way over the odds (and simultaneously she felt like she get short-changed) - in hindsight, this was probably the sweet spot.

Remember, as you are also not agreeing to your ex's offer the title 'Ex refuses to settle on property holding me hostage' applies just as much to your ex as you.