Partner moving in - how to split outgoings

pedgepuk

My partner will be moving in to my property and I'm looking to get advice on how the essential outgoings should be divided/paid. The intention is to get a joint bank account but our circumstances as different to the normal moving in and I'm unable to find similar posts online.

To provide background (and any figures are just examples), I own and have a mortgage on my property, my partner owns her own property (also mortgaged) where it will be rented out to tenants who will be moving in next month, my partner will move in to mine.

Our income (net in brackets) is as follows:
Me £100,000 (£63,000)
Partner £40,000 (£30,000)

Partner will also get approx £19,000 in gross rental income, hence £59,000 (£40,000+£19000) total income.

The monthly outgoings for my property are as follows:
Mortgage @ £900
Gas/Elec/Water/Council Tax/Broadband/Home Insurance @ £450

The OH monthly outgoings from the rented property are:
Mortgage @£400
Letting/Mgmt and Insurance (approx) @£130

Query here is how we plan for my OH to contribute based on the above.

We've looked at different methods, I.e.
1. Deducting the mortgage element of my property and solely base it on bills using income ratio on Gross and Net
2. As per 1 above but using 50/50 split
3. As per 1 but reducing the OH rental income by deducting mortgage/letting/insurance fees which reduces the OH total income to £13000.
4. Including my mortgage and bills (OH has said no on mortgage contribution which I'm aware has implications)

There are other commitments I have, i.e. child maintenance/2nd property mortgage which impact my own overall income.

What would be the recommended route so:
A- I'm not worse off (of course)
B- The OH isn't worse off
C- To make it fair
D- I don't get beaten with a stick!

Also, come the winter the OH will have the heating on daytime so this is bound to increase substantially, whereas I can put up with the cold when working from home.

We're looking at creating different pots such as emergency, repairs, holiday and going funds where we contribute to each month.

Any advice would be appreciated.

TIA

DullGreyGuy

Ask 10 couples how they do their finances and you'll probably get 10 different answers. All 10 are correct if it works for them and both sides are happy with the arrangement.

How long have you been together? 
Plans for marriage?

If they contribute to repaying your mortgage etc then there is a chance they can lay claim to part of the property if things dont work out.


The red flag here however is you're nearly at the point of moving in together and you haven't sat down and talked about this yet. That really should have been done before starting to look for tenants for her place etc. You may find you come at this from very different angles. 

pedgepuk

DullGreyGuy said:

Ask 10 couples how they do their finances and you'll probably get 10 different answers. All 10 are correct if it works for them and both sides are happy with the arrangement.

How long have you been together? 
Plans for marriage?

If they contribute to repaying your mortgage etc then there is a chance they can lay claim to part of the property if things dont work out.


The red flag here however is you're nearly at the point of moving in together and you haven't sat down and talked about this yet. That really should have been done before starting to look for tenants for her place etc. You may find you come at this from very different angles. 

Thanks. Agree on the fact it should have been done way sooner and on the mortgage implication.

We've been together for 5 years. Marriage is possible and the intention is to buy a joint home in the next 5 years.

ameliapipers

I know couples who start moving into a shared home even after 2 months of a relationship. I wish you guys the best of luck.

DullGreyGuy

ameliapipers said:

I know couples who start moving into a shared home even after 2 months of a relationship. I wish you guys the best of luck.

We were officially after about 3 months but after about 2 weeks she was spending every night at mine but insisted on keeper her clothes in a suitcase for about a month to show she hadnt moved in. Ours however was a rental and so no risk of breaking up and someone claiming part of the property.

pedgepuk said:

DullGreyGuy said:

Ask 10 couples how they do their finances and you'll probably get 10 different answers. All 10 are correct if it works for them and both sides are happy with the arrangement.

How long have you been together? 
Plans for marriage?

If they contribute to repaying your mortgage etc then there is a chance they can lay claim to part of the property if things dont work out.


The red flag here however is you're nearly at the point of moving in together and you haven't sat down and talked about this yet. That really should have been done before starting to look for tenants for her place etc. You may find you come at this from very different angles. 

Thanks. Agree on the fact it should have been done way sooner and on the mortgage implication.

We've been together for 5 years. Marriage is possible and the intention is to buy a joint home in the next 5 years.

For us, I earn 10x what she does (on a gross basis), we were both renting (me a flat, her a room), her moving in didnt change my rent or utilities by a massive amount and so I didnt ask for any contributions but she would fairly often do the weekly grocery shopping for both of us.

15 years on its not changed much other than owning our home now. She's joint owner of the property, as is the likely outcome for a married couple anyway but I pay the bills. Some will say she should pay her 9% to be proportional on earnings, some say it should be 50/50 but that'd be more than her monthly takehome pay by a fair way. 

Keep_pedalling

You pay all of the mortgage and split the household expenses equally. If she contributes to the mortgage (or to major home improvements) she will effectively have a beneficial interest in your home which could become tricky if things go pear shaped. 

Sly72

Agree to 50 /50

74jax

My husband earns way more than me. We have always split outgoings in relation to % of incomings.

For eg. He brings in 90% and I bring in 10%. So that's what we put towards bills - he pays 90%, I pay 10%.

It works for us, you need to find something you both are happy with to make it work and ignore outside 'helpful' contents... 😂 

powerspowers

I think as a starting point ignore the mortgage costs and rental income and child costs on both sides. Divvy up remaining bills proportionate to income. Ignore things such as “they have the heating on more” and “they have more expensive cheese than me” (example from my own relationship!)

But the key is communicate, sit down and thrash something out between the two of you. Approach it with a spirit of compromise and trying to work out what’s best rather than a down to the penny who’s better off. Listen to each other. Review regular (we have a finance catch up with a cup of tea in bed on a Sunday morning every few months, it’s thrilling)

HillStreetBlues

pedgepuk said:

Also, come the winter the OH will have the heating on daytime so this is bound to increase substantially, whereas I can put up with the cold when working from home.

Personally I think that goes a bit far.

Why not weigh the food in case one of you eats more then the other. 

Gycraig

Is he a partner or a house mate ? Why on earth is a family with a net income of 93k discussing who should pay more for heating ?