Separation… where do I stand?

kattynel123

I am a homeowner and have been since 2009. My parents has lived with me this whole time but has never consistently contributed to ANY bills. He does not regularly give me any money, even towards the food bills. I know I sound like an absolute mug but at the end of the day, I felt proud to have my independence and not to rely on him for anything. I’ve come to realise that that’s not normal and I was in denial about his drinking problem. We have a daughter together but even then, he has very little responsibility for her. He is basically just fully taking advantage. 

I want him to move out, but I need to know where he stands financially… will he have any sort of claim over the house? We moved 18 months ago, and he has done a bit of work on the house, but hasn’t paid anything to live here. There is no paper trail of any payments because there literally haven’t been any payments. I don’t feel he would take me to court as he can’t afford it, and if he did, not one bill is in his name. He is named on the council tax but has never paid for this, I pay via my account. 

Please don’t judge… any advice would be very gratefully received! Thank you 

elsien

When you say he’s done a bit of work on the house, what does that mean? A spot of painting versus building an extension, for example.

kattynel123

Decorating, which I helped with, although he is a plasterer and has skimmed three rooms. 

rnj

If you're not married he'd have a hard time claiming anything on the house and you have proof that nothings been contributed.

kattynel123

rnj said:

If you're not married he'd have a hard time claiming anything on the house and you have proof that nothings been contributed.

I forgot to mention, we aren’t married. Thanks 

JReacher1

If you bought a new house 18 months ago is his name on the deeds?

RAS

A lot depends on the deeds. If he's not on them.....

Does he work? If so, he should have enough to pay rent.

If not it might be worth stumping up enough to fund a month's rent and a deposit to help him move out.

And have you sorted out your will? You are unlikely to be able to stop him having responsibility for your daughter if he wants it, but you can appoint trustees to manage any money etc.

kattynel123

JReacher1 said:

If you bought a new house 18 months ago is his name on the deeds?

No his name isn’t on the deeds. It’s not on anything other than council tax, which is in my name and I pay for and can prove I pay for. 

kattynel123

RAS said:

A lot depends on the deeds. If he's not on them.....

Does he work? If so, he should have enough to pay rent.

If not it might be worth stumping up enough to fund a month's rent and a deposit to help him move out.

And have you sorted out your will? You are unlikely to be able to stop him having responsibility for your daughter if he wants it, but you can appoint trustees to manage any money etc.

He isn’t on the deeds. And the mortgage is in my name and based solely on my earnings. 

He does work, self employed, yet I see nothing from it. He isn’t the most reliable when it comes to work, or any aspect of his life.. and I think he has depression/anxiety but there’s nothing more I can do if he doesn’t help himself. 

I wouldn’t want to see him struggle and would help where I can. 

My will is old, from our last house but actually left the house to our daughter. I do need to get that sorted tbh. 

I like your quote about mistakes. Thank you. 

elsien

The only way he might have a claim is if he could show he had acquired a beneficial interest in the property from the work he had done, which would require him going to court if you couldn’t reach agreement.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_sole_homeowners/occupation_rights_if_one_partner_is_the_sole_owner#:~:text=a%20general%20guide.-,Definition%20of%20beneficial%20interest,right%20to%20occupy%20a%20property.

from what you’ve posted (caveat - I’m no legal expert) It seems unlikely that he’s done anything that would entitle him to much at all.

I recently worked with a gentleman who’d paid to have a conservatory built on the back of the house and a completely new kitchen but everything was cash with no paper trail  and the solicitor was very noncommittal about whether it would go anywhere. Slightly different situation in that his partner passed away and it was the children being difficult about their “inheritance”. 

He’d lived there 20 odd years spent all his savings on the property and ended up walking away with nothing. Just as a point of comparison.

kattynel123

elsien said:

The only way he might have a claim is if he could show he had acquired a beneficial interest in the property from the work he had done, which would require him going to court if you couldn’t reach agreement.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_sole_homeowners/occupation_rights_if_one_partner_is_the_sole_owner#:~:text=a%20general%20guide.-,Definition%20of%20beneficial%20interest,right%20to%20occupy%20a%20property.

from what you’ve posted (caveat - I’m no legal expert) It seems unlikely that he’s done anything that would entitle him to much at all.

I recently worked with a gentleman who’d paid to have a conservatory built on the back of the house and a completely new kitchen but everything was cash with no paper trail  and the solicitor was very noncommittal about whether it would go anywhere. Slightly different situation in that his partner passed away and it was the children being difficult about their “inheritance”. 

He’d lived there 20 odd years spent all his savings on the property and ended up walking away with nothing. Just as a point of comparison.

Thank you for all of this! 

I think it’s doubtful he would pursue taking me to court, but you just never know. 

 I will read the link you’ve sent in more detail but it looks more helpful than anything I’ve found online. 

Thanks once again.