PCOS and kids

Sncjw

Hi 

Does anyone have PCOS and actively chose not to have kids because they can't deal with putting themselves through the mental torture of not knowing if you can get your fertility back? 

Also with the way the world is now it costs far too much to have a child due to childcare costs and not being able to survive on one income to feed three people. I would be working for free as Id use that money I earn to pay for childcare so I can work. 
.thank you 

silvercar

I think those are two very different issues.

I can’t comment on the first issue, other than suggest counselling may help.

Childcare costs reduce as the child gets older. So the difficult finances last for a limited time, of course having kids is far more expensive than not, but a lot of people consider the sacrifice worthwhile.

strawb_shortcake

I had/have PCOS, it was incredibly painful not conceiving, the nature of not having regular periods probably didn't help either as you never knew if this month was successful or your body just doing it's normal thing. 

Lots of people will have fertility challenges, perhaps rather than look at it as a negative think of the flip side, you know your issues, there is help available, some help isn't even invasive - I became pregnant after taking metformin. Subsequent pregnancies I had no issues at all and fell pregnant quickly. Lots of people with PCOS go on to have successful pregnancies.

Children are expensive, we've been a one wage family for nearly 20 years, mostly through choice now due to ill health. It does get easier, though having 2 at uni may be a whole new challenge 😬
Work considerations need to be long term not short term.

There are support groups available that will help and put you in touch with others going through similar 

Sncjw

I've just had a frank discussion and there's many things that would take ages to list here but we decided not to have kids. There's too many cons for it for ourselves personally and I don't think I could go through the mental tourture of trying to conceive and putting our lives on hold when we could have lived our lives. 

silvercar

Sncjw said:

I've just had a frank discussion and there's many things that would take ages to list here but we decided not to have kids. There's too many cons for it for ourselves personally and I don't think I could go through the mental tourture of trying to conceive and putting our lives on hold when we could have lived our lives. 

There is a middle road, whereby you just relax and if it happens it happens. Seems more sensible that thinking of your life as being on hold.

Sncjw

silvercar said:

Sncjw said:

I've just had a frank discussion and there's many things that would take ages to list here but we decided not to have kids. There's too many cons for it for ourselves personally and I don't think I could go through the mental tourture of trying to conceive and putting our lives on hold when we could have lived our lives. 

There is a middle road, whereby you just relax and if it happens it happens. Seems more sensible that thinking of your life as being on hold.

Mentally for me I am the kind of person that needs to know yes or no so I can move on and plan my life. My husband and I want to travel and go to places that we couldn't do with a kid. 

silvercar

Sncjw said:

silvercar said:

Sncjw said:

I've just had a frank discussion and there's many things that would take ages to list here but we decided not to have kids. There's too many cons for it for ourselves personally and I don't think I could go through the mental tourture of trying to conceive and putting our lives on hold when we could have lived our lives. 

There is a middle road, whereby you just relax and if it happens it happens. Seems more sensible that thinking of your life as being on hold.

Mentally for me I am the kind of person that needs to know yes or no so I can move on and plan my life. My husband and I want to travel and go to places that we couldn't do with a kid. 

If that’s the reason then fine, you don’t even need to justify it.

Though we started travelling without the kids once they reached their late teens and preferred to arrange their own holidays. We’ve had many years of travelling without the kids and we are still in our 50s.