am i being fair

craftygranny

i was recently granted a residency order for my grandaughter. Her mum was getting 33.00 per week from her father through the csa . Csa have said i can either put in a claim through them or come to a private arrangement. I was thinking of asking him if he would be willing to pay 15.00 per week into my grandaughters trust fund rather than involve the csa. this is causing mixed feelings in my family. some feel i should just get all i can as he doesn't want to know his daughter and others think i should ask for nothing . i don't really know what to do. I feel he should contribute something and feel having it put in her trust fund will give her some support in the future. does this seem like a good idea.

Mr_Green_Genes

Avoiding the CSA is always the right thing to do if you want to do the right thing. Using them will drag you into a pit of the uttermost hell, where everything you ever thought was good turns out to be awful, and even the simplest thing gets twisted into torture.

As they say in all the school anti-drug campaigns:- JUST SAY NO!!

Zara33

craftygranny well done with the residence order, i would say involve the CSA your grandaughter is entitled to be supported from both parents. He has been paying to support his child so why would you claiming the child support rather than your daughter cause any more hassle.

On a side note and way of topic i hope you are getting a residence allowance now as you have been able to secure residency for your granddaughter.

Strapped

As much as I would say avoid the CSA, I wouldn't necessarily offer up any reduction. I don't know your circumstances, but if your daughter is deceased (condolences if this is the case) then your granddaughter, as you say, will value this money in the future.

Donedoingdebt

Mr_Green_Genes wrote: »

Avoiding the CSA is always the right thing to do if you want to do the right thing. Using them will drag you into a pit of the uttermost hell, where everything you ever thought was good turns out to be awful, and even the simplest thing gets twisted into torture.

As they say in all the school anti-drug campaigns:- JUST SAY NO!!

Mr Green Genes, you haven't left it too late to send their Christmas card have you?

craftygranny, in my humble opinion, would it not be possible to ask the Father to just continue paying the current £33 per week straight to you in a private agreement & dump the CSA?

Mr_Green_Genes

Donedoingdebt wrote: »

Mr Green Genes, you haven't left it too late to send their Christmas card have you?

Lol I haven't sent them a Christmas card, no. They didn't send me one so I thought, stuff it. :D

craftygranny

Thank you to everyone for your opinions.
My daughter is not dead she just can't be bothered to look after or accept any responsibility for her daughter. Unfortunately my grandaughters father has no interest in her either. neither of them turned up at court or sent a solicitor. He has a child from a previous relationship and says that he has the only child he ever wanted and he wants nothing to do with my grandaughter.
I didn't want it to be about money hence thinking of suggesting he pays money into her trust fund but i do feel wheather he wants her or not he helped create her and should at least give her something. I shame my daughter into doing so.
Money is not really an issue i am wiling to provide whatever she needs even though i don't have much.She is a beautiful , happy little girl and is much loved . I think after listening to you all i will suggest he pays money into her trust fund and let him suggest an amount and if we think it's reasonable i'll accept. i'll keep you updated and thanks again for your help.

Fran

craftygranny,

If you are going to get a private arrangement I would suggest getting it put into a proper 'contract' with him. Even though your current circumstances mean you can manage financially this can change with anyone and you might find you really need that money at some stage. If the arrangement is too 'casual' and he is not bothered anyway and knows that you are, he might just stop paying unless there is a proper agreement in place.

Presumably you now receive Child Benefit for her?

enemes

Fran wrote: »

craftygranny,

If you are going to get a private arrangement I would suggest getting it put into a proper 'contract' with him.

Well Done craftygranny ...

It doesn't matter what other family members say, at the end of the day, this is all about your grand-daughter. You HAVE to claim money from her father, because that is his responsibility, wether he wants it or not. At least give your grand-daughter the chance to know that her "dad" did support her in some way. How are you going to answer her questions when she is older, she will think that you cut him out of her life.

The CSA is the best route, simply because it is a free contract. So what if you get nothing from them, you are in two minds anyway, so nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Ignore other family members ... do what is best for her, pride has nothing to do with it.

zoezoe_3

Dont forget to claim maintanance from the mother also !!!

macaroni

I agree , you must claim support from both your daughter and your granddaughters father. I would personally try and come to a private agreement, especially because of the complexity of your situation

Good luck and have a lovely xmas !