Anyone had/have a lodger and what was your experience? Any tips or advice?

sourpuss2021

My lodgers tend to be students and I’m in my 40s.  I’ve found that when I have a male lodger we will become friends, even if it is simple expedience on the lodger’s behalf and will end as soon as they move out.  It’s quite likely we’ll go to the pub or find some other shared activity outside of the flat.   

The male lodgers don’t socialise at home, they don’t bring their friends over.  And if they do bring a woman round she’ll make sure to be polite towards me.  The males are confident in their use of the communal areas, bringing their laptop to the kitchen table as much as they like to, or the lounge if that’s included in the agreement.

Now I have an opposite sex lodger, and I would say she is friendly but there is no friendship, and it is in a boundaried fashion.  One of us has always been standing up during every one of our interactions in the 8 months she’s been here!  It makes the flat feel like an odd place that is neither entirely a home nor a workplace.

She eats her meals her room and doesn’t spend time in the kitchen other than to cook - though she does cook a lot.  I’ve never seen her outside of the flat which gives me a claustrophobic feeling.  While I can understand the female need for caution, she knows no more about who I’m attracted to (largely dormant these days anyway) than the male lodgers did. 

Recently it became a problem that she was inviting two of her friends round too often, a male and a female.  I counted seven days in a row.  On those occasions they take over the kitchen and I feel awkward going in.   And she would never tell me in advance that they were coming, while I would always let her know ahead of any visit by a tradesman.  

So I told her I didn’t object to the people, but that their arrival was always unannounced and it’s become too frequent.   I do think the fact that I have not developed a friendship with her is a factor too though.  It means I have these other people in my space who are not part of my sense of home.

Since they are young and we’re in the city they have countless places they can go to socialise, whereas if my feeling of comfort and security at home is gone it’s a big deal for me.

We’ve agreed a maximum of 3 times a week she can have guests, and she must give me advance notice.  She’ll be off at the start of autumn as I’ll get another student for the next year, for the council tax discount.  Most probably I will go for a male next time - not that they don’t bring their own problems!

Another thing I’ve found common is that a lodger’s conception of cleaning is simply to clean up after themselves.  However it does not encompass anything proactive such as mopping the floor, wiping cabinet doors and refrigerator shelves, or scrubbing the bath.  I ended up doing all of these tasks myself - but have just raised it as an issue!

Mojisola

I was a Mon-Fri lodger for a while.  That worked well for both of us -

she had some extra income; I didn't have to pay as much as a 7-day lodger;

landlady had the house to herself over the weekend and I was able to go home.

propertyrental

Blank11 said:

propertyrental said:

Have you read

Post 10: Lodgers: advice & links for landlords & lodgers

what happens if they refuse to leave?

Provided 
a) they ARE a lodger (licencee) not a tenant and
b) your contract with them (licence agreement NOT tenancy agreement) states eg '1 week notice', you serve notice, wait a week, then change the locks while they are out.

Not sure if it is the same but I am Scotland based. Thanks I will have a look at the link. ...

Yes I believe the Scottish law IS different. Ignore my advice, and the link, and search the relevant Scottish websites.eg

https://scotland.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/tenants_rights/taking_in_lodger

https://www.rocketlawyer.com/gb/en/property/evict-tenants/legal-guide/evicting-lodgers-in-scotland

Grizebeck

I had a lodger who had come out of prison. He was the son of a friend.
It worked out fine for the time he was here

Mildreds_Earrings

Similar experiences to @sourpuss2021 You must set boundaries. All our lodgers were female and the first few were brilliant.  The last two took the proverbial, invited friends round without any notice, used the washing machine almost daily, even to wash one top! and expected their friends to stay overnight.  We didn't actually need a lodger but the extra income came in handy. However, the last two lodgers put us off for life.

Set boundaries - for example, you're allowed to use the washing machine and dryer once/twice per week, clean up after yourself,  strictly no overnight visitors and if you do have visitors, you can entertain them in your bedroom only. These are just examples and only you know what you can and cannot tolerate but put everything in writing, so both you and the lodger know what's expected of them. 

All the best.

Blank11

sourpuss2021 said:

My lodgers tend to be students and I’m in my 40s.  I’ve found that when I have a male lodger we will become friends, even if it is simple expedience on the lodger’s behalf and will end as soon as they move out.  It’s quite likely we’ll go to the pub or find some other shared activity outside of the flat.   

The male lodgers don’t socialise at home, they don’t bring their friends over.  And if they do bring a woman round she’ll make sure to be polite towards me.  The males are confident in their use of the communal areas, bringing their laptop to the kitchen table as much as they like to, or the lounge if that’s included in the agreement.

Now I have an opposite sex lodger, and I would say she is friendly but there is no friendship, and it is in a boundaried fashion.  One of us has always been standing up during every one of our interactions in the 8 months she’s been here!  It makes the flat feel like an odd place that is neither entirely a home nor a workplace.

She eats her meals her room and doesn’t spend time in the kitchen other than to cook - though she does cook a lot.  I’ve never seen her outside of the flat which gives me a claustrophobic feeling.  While I can understand the female need for caution, she knows no more about who I’m attracted to (largely dormant these days anyway) than the male lodgers did. 

Recently it became a problem that she was inviting two of her friends round too often, a male and a female.  I counted seven days in a row.  On those occasions they take over the kitchen and I feel awkward going in.   And she would never tell me in advance that they were coming, while I would always let her know ahead of any visit by a tradesman.  

So I told her I didn’t object to the people, but that their arrival was always unannounced and it’s become too frequent.   I do think the fact that I have not developed a friendship with her is a factor too though.  It means I have these other people in my space who are not part of my sense of home.

Since they are young and we’re in the city they have countless places they can go to socialise, whereas if my feeling of comfort and security at home is gone it’s a big deal for me.

We’ve agreed a maximum of 3 times a week she can have guests, and she must give me advance notice.  She’ll be off at the start of autumn as I’ll get another student for the next year, for the council tax discount.  Most probably I will go for a male next time - not that they don’t bring their own problems!

Another thing I’ve found common is that a lodger’s conception of cleaning is simply to clean up after themselves.  However it does not encompass anything proactive such as mopping the floor, wiping cabinet doors and refrigerator shelves, or scrubbing the bath.  I ended up doing all of these tasks myself - but have just raised it as an issue!

I forgot about full time students being except from council tax so that’ll help with costs. I do get where she is coming from because as a petite female I’d be extra cautious and it is one of my concerns with lodger is my safety. It really is a mix bag of experience but it seems to work well for you given they are students so they tend to leave after their year finishes if things don’t work out. I do also wonder if them being students there’s less hassle or an issue of them overstaying and not leaving at the end of agreement. Cleaning duties I would expect contribution and I now know to put that I would put that in writing if I did get a lodger! 

Blank11

Mojisola said:

I was a Mon-Fri lodger for a while.  That worked well for both of us -

she had some extra income; I didn't have to pay as much as a 7-day lodger;

landlady had the house to herself over the weekend and I was able to go home.

I was thinking about a Mon-Fri lodger as that would be mainly professionals so they probably won’t be in the house as much. But I’m not in an area like London where people would need to travel constantly there. But that is a nice option with having the weekend to yourself. 

Blank11

propertyrental said:

Blank11 said:

propertyrental said:

Have you read

Post 10: Lodgers: advice & links for landlords & lodgers

what happens if they refuse to leave?

Provided 
a) they ARE a lodger (licencee) not a tenant and
b) your contract with them (licence agreement NOT tenancy agreement) states eg '1 week notice', you serve notice, wait a week, then change the locks while they are out.

Not sure if it is the same but I am Scotland based. Thanks I will have a look at the link. ...

Yes I believe the Scottish law IS different. Ignore my advice, and the link, and search the relevant Scottish websites.eg

https://scotland.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/tenants_rights/taking_in_lodger

https://www.rocketlawyer.com/gb/en/property/evict-tenants/legal-guide/evicting-lodgers-in-scotland

Thanks for the links! Seems to be a more stricter process with Scotland with 4 weeks notice and if they don’t leave then would need to apply for an order from the Sheriff Court to get them to leave. If it is a similar process with court order as tenants renting this can be a lengthly process!

Blank11

Mildreds_Earrings said:

Similar experiences to @sourpuss2021 You must set boundaries. All our lodgers were female and the first few were brilliant.  The last two took the proverbial, invited friends round without any notice, used the washing machine almost daily, even to wash one top! and expected their friends to stay overnight.  We didn't actually need a lodger but the extra income came in handy. However, the last two lodgers put us off for life.

Set boundaries - for example, you're allowed to use the washing machine and dryer once/twice per week, clean up after yourself,  strictly no overnight visitors and if you do have visitors, you can entertain them in your bedroom only. These are just examples and only you know what you can and cannot tolerate but put everything in writing, so both you and the lodger know what's expected of them. 

All the best.

If I did get a lodger I was planning to just include the bills into the price but people really do try to milk it for all it’s worth! The visitors situation I would rather not have overnight stay or people coming daily but I don’t want to be that horrible landlord that doesn’t allow anything. It is hard trying to find a balance of things. I’m honestly a bit shocked with the washing machine situation because I never thought such a situation would arise!

RAS

You really do need to be clear about everything. Otherwise, you'll go to the fridge or the cupboard and find all the milk, bread and oil have been used and not replaced.

If you offer "utilities included", the windows will be open and the central heating on full blast. Or they are playing games 24/7 or working from home. So you might have a fair usage clause.

Have you checked the rent a room scheme and the likely local lodging cost? Even if the standard lodging agreement is one year in Scotland, there's nothing to stop you offering say September to June if that fits the rent a room scheme and might be attractive to students?

Maybe check out friends and acquaintances and talk to those with experience of being a lodger?