Wondering what rights I have with this employer who caused me depression

DraxDomax

I have quite frequent doctor's appointments. I am not suicidal because I remember a long life of good working conditions and I know for a fact that a better life is waiting for me - but they are taking it very seriously, considering my symptoms.

It's just that in the moment of being fully dedicated to my work - and of course the news that aren't very fun for tech people right now - I have let it get into me very deeply and it affects me psychosomatically (that is the terrible mental state is actually causing me heart, stomach, brain disease).

I passed three rounds of interviews for a new employer. I passed them so well that they said despite they already offered a job to someone else (an existing colleague who is due for promotion), they will spend today to look for a budget to hire me, eliminating a lower-tier role just to get the head count.

I am really hopeful for my potential new job (let's see if they can pull it off!).

I just hate I have to give my new employer the number of my old employer. I wish they were never a part of my life!

Thanks for everyone's attention and kind advice

[Deleted User]

Walk away, head high. That’s more dignified. 

If they’re as bad as you say they are, a well-oiled machine like that you won’t beat them. You’ll only ruin yourself in trying. At some stage you’ll end up a figure of ridicule. Do you think they’re suffering mentally? Unlikely.

You stand to lose more in the long run. Stuff like this affects the people (you like) around you, too. Think of them.

Walk away, say nothing (don’t feed the beast) and forget about them. Don’t let them live in your head, rent-free. 

Edit to add, my last paragraph is something I’ve done. In the years since, I find it wholly satisfying I left them to make up their own nonsense conclusions and I have no regrets.

tightauldgit

From your post it seems you are still a fairly new employee with the company which means your rights are fairly limited and to be honest if you wanted to claim anything then I could only see a long and expensive court case followed by probably not getting the resolution that you want. 

As others have said the best resolution here is to leave and move on with your life. 

TBagpuss

DraxDomax said:

yeah that makes sense.
I guess I got confused by reading about "Grievance Procedure" and hoping I might get some benefit out of it.
Even if I personally get nothing but someone up there is "motivated" to improve, that would make it feel like my suffering hasn't been in vain.

It's real damage, it's my livelihood and my sensitivity as a human who has his dignity.
Not to mention I gave up other offers who couldn't have possibly turned as bad.
I have 20 years of experience, nowhere is perfect but I've never seen anything like this.

I think if you were looking to stay then raising a grievance might be appropriate, as it might result in things being addressed. 
If you are leaving, then you may be offered an exist interview, but it's more geared to giving the company information that might be relevant to how they do things moving forward, rather than giving you any kind of compensation.

I think it is unlikely that you would have any recourse to claim your depression as work-related injury to make compensation claim, as you'd need to be able to show both that they were negligent and that your illness or injury was caused by that, and that it was reasonably foreseeable that their negligence / actions would cause that kind of harm. 
Although your psychologist has linked your depression and your job, I suspect that you might find that it's a little more complicated than that if you were looking t making a claim. Of course, f you have any kind of legal cover including access to a solicitor you could see of you could talk to a PI lawyer to find out whether they thought you had any kind of viable claim,  but I think your best course of action is to follow your doctor's advice and move on, and if you wish, document briefly and factually in any exit interview  the incidents (e.g. for the London incident, leave out any comment about arrangements for family, just state that your boss instructed you to attend a meeting with him in London, that you arrived at the office as instructed to find no0onethere was expecting you, there was no security pass, and your boss wasn't contactable and that when you contacted his boss for instantons, this resulted in your boss calling and shouting at you but the meeting still did no go ahead. (I I am not clear whether you were able to request reimbursements for your travel costs, if not, then I don't think it would be unreasonable to request)