Loneliness

stphnstevey

I don't have a partner or children. I live 250 miles from my nearest family, work from home so find it difficult to make friends with work colleagues who often live equally far away. Working from home I sometimes don't leave the house much, so I don't see people in general. I find it hard to make friends & don't have a hobby.

It gets very lonely & wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation & what they might do to help

lr1277

Last night on th Beeb, there was a programme called 'The Truth about Mental Health'.  I tuned in after 15-20 minutes and wanted to watch the whole proramme on iplayer, but it is not available. Like the other 'Truth about..' programmes. A complete shame from my point of view.

What I remember is there was a woman who had lost her husband and was feeling lonely leading to depression. This meant she didn't want to leave the house. She would sit in front of the tv without it being turned on. Either her gp or somebody else local turned her onto a community gardening class. After turning up a few times she felt much better and now goes regularly, at least that was my impression. She had no interest in gardening till she joined the group.

In terms of chaning behaviour, they talked about the 'COM B' model. I just had a quick look and there is at least one web page describing it, so might be worth looking up.

Exercise whilst concentrating on something increases blood flow to the brain in general and to the back of the brain in particular. This helped with mood immensely.

So I suppose you could:

) persuade yourself to join a community group (doesn't have to be something you thought you might be interested in, as long as you value the community/talking aspect over whatever the group does.

2) Talk to your gp and see if they have any suggestions, especially around community activies.

3) Take up some kind of exercise, perhaps team game. Doesn't have to be vigorous, but activity and concentration will help your mood.For example walking group, walking football are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head.

At they end the summarised and the only other thing they mentioned was probiotics. But sorry don't know more than that.

HampshireH

You haven't said you are experiencing low mental health which has lead to you not going out so my responses is solely ideas without that consideration and is just ideas.

* Are you close to family (emotionally)? If you're working from home could you move closer?

* You don't have a hobby but you have the choice to start one and it could be anything! Decided if you prefer outdoor (garden club/walking/cycling groups/hiking/football/rugby/allotment etc) or indoor (could literally be anything)

* Post on social media looking for local hobbies/clubs so you can see what's local and you could consider may be a good fit for you. You could try as many as you like without committing.

* Get out the house - go for a walk everyday. The exercise will be good for you and mental health (generally)

* If you can't leave the house go online look at what you enjoy (books/gaming/building/crafts/model aircraft/welding/knitting/drawing/music - the list is endless) and join some Interactive groups on their where they have online sessions rather than forum based chat.

* Book a singles holiday. Apparently these are great ways to meet people you wouldn't Normally meet

* Volunteer on a project which interests you locally 

bouicca21

Local to me there are unofficial groups of individuals who work from home and regularly meet up for coffee/brunch.  OP needs to explore similar possibilities or start one, using social media or Meetup.  Other than that the situation is much the same as anyone who commutes to an office; look for communal things to do in the evenings and at weekends -  Meetup groups, book clubs, walking/sports organisations, adult ed classes, Rotary, etc.

RAS

Does working from home require you to be attached to specific kit in a specific time and place? Or can you work from other places?

Before lock-down, my routine involved going to the coffee shop shortly after 7am. Walk there, coffee, work a bit amongst people, walk home. It got me out and about early in the day. I'd also get in another walk later, even if it was only round the block in the dark.
 
Both also got me talking to the dog walkers, chatting to neighbours en route and sleeping better. I could have asked one of the chats if they wanted to go for a coffee. 

Look out for Men's Sheds and Women's Shed? 

Caz3121

Second meetup groups, I am now in a walking group...get out with the group about once a week and just walk and chat, a pub quiz group...probably once a month, a ladies group - off to art exhibition and coffee this week with them, took painting and drawing classes and some gym classes. Have done a fair amount of solo travelling. Still struggle often evenings and some weekends (although better now than in winter)

Zinger549

You could try https://www.meetup.com/ It's free to sign up and then you can find out about groups in your area. There are lots to choose from (Walking,Sport, Art,Pubs ect).

KxMx

Not having a hobby needn't be a barrier- I've tried various things over the last few years, some I only did once and others I am still doing on a regular basis because I found great enjoyment. 

ouraggie

If you , or anyone else reading this, are over 50 there is a lovely Facebook group called Silver Friends, with a side-group called Silver Ladies. A lot of the members are living alone. There are many very supportive kind and friendly members, who completely understand the situation. I would stress that it is absolutely NOT a dating site, but a friendship and companionship site.
 They have a Zoom meeting every Sunday evening  and the ladies have a Zoom coffee morning on a Tuesday.
 They also organise lots of physical events all over the country, including short breaks in the UK and abroad. I recently joined one with 6 complete strangers, who had become friends by the end of the 4 days.

ceewash

Serious suggestion - get a dog. It gets you out of the house everyday and you see same people with their dogs every day. And people always stop to talk to the dog.

gettingtheresometime

I would seriously ask yourself whether working from home is a good idea; I stopped working from home because the thought of working and living alone creased me and did nothing for my mental health especially in winter.