Sons Drugs Debts

theotherhalf

My son is in rehab at the moment after getting in with a crowd who all take cocaine. I didn’t know he had been on it for over a year but lost his job and couldn’t afford it so decided he’d had enough but couldn’t stop. He lives at home but I’m disabled and get pip. While he’s in rehab I found piles of unopened letters in his room and opened them all. I’m devastated to realise he’s gone up to his overdraft limit in the bank. He’s got a credit card and maxed it out. His car is on finance and he hadn’t paid his phone bill. He owes £1000 plus interest to the bank as he hasn’t paid the min amounts for months. Credit card is £1500 plus interest for unpaid months. His phone is £100 a month an he owes 2 months plus he owes money to the dealer. But it’s his car. He bought it on finance last year for £18,000 and has only paid just over £1000 on it but has missed 3 payments. The paperwork says they can take it back but he would have to pay half the value from when he signed for it. We buy any car are only offering £9750. The £10,000 he saved for a house deposit is all gone. He hadn’t a penny and neither have I. All he owns is an old tv and a rack of clothes. I haven’t any money left as baillifs came and I gave them my last £350 as he hadn’t paid a parking fine. No-one will speak to me on the phone for privacy reasons unless he is sectioned but he isn’t, he’s at rehab and not allowed any contact. I’m on my own an terrified when the door bell rings or the postman comes. What do I do?

MorningcoffeeIV

Re-post on the DFW boards.  They'll help go through his options.

Given he's defaulted on everything, it's relatively straightforward. The debt to his dealers is another matter though and needs to be dealt with separately.

elsien

The first thing is that hey are his debts, not yours, and there is no obligation for you to pay them on his behalf. Living at the same address makes no difference, his debts are not yours.
Are you sure it was baillifs that came and not debt collectors - debt collectors will lie and pretend they have powers that they don't in order to make people pay up. If they were debt collectors, I would make a formal complaint to whoever sent the debt collector that you gave £350 to see if you can retrieve any of it. 
More information about the different people and their powers (or lack of) here.
Bailiffs & Debt Collectors. The Difference? StepChange


Debt collectors in the UK : Mental Health & Money Advice (mentalhealthandmoneyadvice.org)

  If anyone turns up at the door, don't under any circumstances let them in and don't give them any more money.  Baillifs cannot take anything that is yours, they can only take your son's possessions if they have a court order to do so.
Tell any debt collectors it's your son's debts not yours, you can't contact him due to him being in rehab, he is a vulnerable adult and if don't stop harrassing you you will take it further. 

Who arranged the rehab - if your son has an allocated worker of any sort I would contact them and tell them that he is at risk of his car being lost and court recovery action due to debts. 
If not, I would contact the rehab place directly.
If your son has capacity around his finances, he needs the option to decide what to do before he loses his car and to request they hold off while l he has his treatment. He probably does have capacity , but has been doing an ostrich impression and not wanting to face the reality. The rehab place will know how best to approach him about it.  If he doesn't then someone needs to be contacting the various agencies on his behalf with regards to breathing space.  

I understand why you opened his post but you shouldn't  be doing that. Keep any more letters for him unless he gives you consent to open them. And just keep telling everyone it's not your debt and you will not be paying anything. 

theotherhalf

Thanks Elsien. I know I shouldn’t have opened my sons mail but if was after the baillif came and I needed to know if there were any more visits due. I phoned the rehab place - it’s an nhs rehab unit he was taken to after he overdosed, although he is there voluntarily. I explained the debts to them and they said they will arrange for someone to phone me to get all the details but no-one has yet. The bailif told me a court will issue all sorts of ccj’s and I will never get credit myself and they will take anything of mine. I haven’t actually got anything of value. I’m so alone - my son is getting help but no one will help me

elsien

theotherhalf said:

Thanks Elsien. I know I shouldn’t have opened my sons mail but if was after the baillif came and I needed to know if there were any more visits due. I phoned the rehab place - it’s an nhs rehab unit he was taken to after he overdosed, although he is there voluntarily. I explained the debts to them and they said they will arrange for someone to phone me to get all the details but no-one has yet. The bailif told me a court will issue all sorts of ccj’s and I will never get credit myself and they will take anything of mine. I haven’t actually got anything of value. I’m so alone - my son is getting help but no one will help me

That sounds to me like a debt collector telling porkies and not a genuine baillif. Bottom feeding scum.  Definitely warrants a complaint. 
A baillif is not involved unless there is already a CCJ in place. Any CCJ is for your son and not for you. It does not go on your address and does not affect your ability to get credit unless you have financial links with him such as a joint account. 
Debt collectors have no powers to take anything from you or from him.
If you know who it was who came, make a complaint  about them to the financial services ombudsman - details in my link. 

It may be that your son has told the rehab place that he doesn't want to do anything at the moment or he doesn't want them talking to you and they have to respect that. However I would still call them back to clarify - say that you understand his right to confidentiality but you wanted to make sure that your call to them hadn't been overlooked and they were addressing the concerns with him.  Keep doing that until it is clearer that they are trying to support him. And if he's not up to doing anything himself, they can ask for his consent to contact people and request a delay in any action while he is so unwell. He doesn't need to be sectioned for that, and the unit can provide evidence of his vulnerability if he wants them to. 

Exodi

elsien said:

Baillifs cannot take anything that is yours, they can only take your son's possessions if they have a court order to do so.

Unfortunately while in theory the OP's possessions should be safe, in practice this isn't always the case.

Assuming that the collection agent does have a valid writ of control, they only need to be reasonably confident that the possessions may be owned by the debtor - as you can appreciate, if this was not the case, every debtor would just claim they own nothing in the house (and it's obviously unrealistic to expect the agent attending to provide definitive proof to the contrary).

In reality, this sometimes leads to collection agents stretching this right in an effort to settle the debt.

E.g. "I'm assuming everything in his bedroom is his - including all the furniture. I'm also assuming the games console is his and given that it's connected to the 60" TV in the living room, I'm also assuming the TV is his, unless you can provide a bill of sale proving otherwise". They know most people don't have receipts for every item in the house.

The easiest option is to not let them in (and ensure you don't leave the backdoor unlocked as this counts as peaceful entry).

elsien

You can call these for support as well, and they might be able to explain more clearly your own rights in this situation. There's a helpline number in here. 

https://www.stepchange.org/debt-info/debt-collection/bailiffs-and-debt-collectors-differences.aspx#:~:text=Although both can visit you,debt, whereas a bailiff does.

FWIW - your son is not under section and no-one has any legal right to prevent contact if he wishes to speak to you. It may have been suggested that no contact might benefit him at the moment,  but that is not enforceable and is his decision to make either way. Just so as you know in case you/he want to challenge the "not allowed" bit. 

elsien

Exodi said:

elsien said:

Baillifs cannot take anything that is yours, they can only take your son's possessions if they have a court order to do so.

Unfortunately while in theory the OP's possessions should be safe, in practice this isn't always the case.

Assuming that the collection agent does have a valid writ of control, they only need to be reasonably confident that the possessions may be owned by the debtor - as you can appreciate, if this was not the case, every debtor would just claim they own nothing in the house (and it's obviously unrealistic to expect the agent attending to provide definitive proof to the contrary).

In reality, this sometimes leads to collection agents stretching this right in an effort to settle the debt.

E.g. "I'm assuming everything in his bedroom is his - including all the furniture. I'm also assuming the games console is his and given that it's connected to the 60" TV in the living room, I'm also assuming the TV is his, unless you can provide a bill of sale proving otherwise". They know most people don't have receipts for every item in the house.

The easiest option is to not let them in (and ensure you don't leave the backdoor unlocked as this counts as peaceful entry).

Fair point, but from the OP's further explanation it sounds more like a debt collector being economical with the truth.

Savvy_Sue

http://famanon.org.uk/

Will give YOU support, and no doubt will have seen this problem before. There's an online forum, and groups around the country.

TBagpuss

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. As others have said, they are his debts, not yours.

If you get any more bailiffs attending, tell them e is not currently living there (if you want, you can tell them he is in hospital)
Do not let them into the house - if you need to speak to them, go outside and close the door (if they come into the house at all then they can potentially come in again and/or refuse to leave.

IF they threaten of demand money from you then call the police - reputable bailiffs or debt collectors should not do so but unfortunately not all are professional.

Call Stepchange and/of CAB for further advice  

Zoe02

Good he is getting help.

You can support the way you can but have to separate yourself.

Take it easy and offer to support him how you can but the debts etc are his not yours.