Divorce

Brie

Wow.  What a horrible person.  I'm glad you are no longer with him but you need to ensure that all the legal stuff has been done.  No person can divorce another without them being involved in some way.  Please talk to citizens advice or find a local women's group that can help you through this.

RAS

Vaughfitz said:

I did sign something to agree to divorce which came to me over 6 years ago now i have asked about it here and there but he always says its up to him and that i dont need to know, so yes, i will look into how to do, many thanks for your time

So there was some sort of notice served.

The problems are that you don't know if he actually divorced you, and there certainly isn't a financial settlement.

At least you have a clue on time frame, so the Central Family Court will search the 10 year time frame for the £65 fee. But that only works if the divorce is absolute. 

tightauldgit

Vaughfitz said:

we separated 6 years ago we split the sale of our house down the middle he now rents, but I bought a house which is in my name , but as you say we must still be legally married which may be a concern for me anyhow,thank you

Unfortunately without a settlement he would have a claim on a share of that house that you bought. That's why it's so important to get everything sorted out.

Vaughfitz

I asked about Decree Nisi, he tells me it was with Bury St Edmunds Family court and that he has sent off for absolute
i have not received any correspondence, I have emailed the court with info that i have ie names addresses and Dob's so hopefully they can let me know where I am in the process, thank you so much for the very useful information :} 

tightauldgit

Vaughfitz said:

I asked about Decree Nisi, he tells me it was with Bury St Edmunds Family court and that he has sent off for absolute
i have not received any correspondence, I have emailed the court with info that i have ie names addresses and Dob's so hopefully they can let me know where I am in the process, thank you so much for the very useful information :} 

That's great they should be able to at least clarify whats gone on so far and why you haven't received any information. Make sure to provide them with your up to date contact information and instruct them to use that for any correspondence. I'm not sure what ID you might have to provide to them to confirm address etc but I'm sure they'll tell you what you need to do. 

TBagpuss

Vaughfitz said:

I asked about Decree Nisi, he tells me it was with Bury St Edmunds Family court and that he has sent off for absolute
i have not received any correspondence, I have emailed the court with info that i have ie names addresses and Dob's so hopefully they can let me know where I am in the process, thank you so much for the very useful information :} 

Since most divorces are now dealt with online, Bury St Edmunds deals with all the ones which were sorted on the old paper system. Unfortunately this does mean that they have a lot of work and there have been huge backlogs - at one point they had a timescale of around 18 weeks to deal with correspondence, although as more divorces are finalised this is improving. IF you have emailed them they should respond eventually but you may have to chase, and it is harder if you don't have the case reference number. 

As others have said, it is essential that you sort out a financial order as otherwise, your ex could come back to try to claim against your home or any other assets you have. Once you have the case reference number for the divorce you can start financial proceedings yourself, but I'd recommend that you talk to a solicitor and get them to write to your ex to propose a clean break order, to see whether he responds. (I don't know if you have a partner now, but its's also important that you don't remarry before you have applied for a financial order as otherwise you lose the right to start that process) .

IF you have to apply to the court for a financial order, this would not be in BStE, yo can apply to the court closest to you.