Really bad Divorce / buy ex out of house

GDB2222

"What happens with a normal sale if damage has been caused between EoC and Comp? No idea. But wouldn't the same apply here?"

The OP is not buying it from his ex-wife. The sellers are the ex-wife and himself, jointly. That complicates matters, as he can't sue himself, obviously. 

If the wife deliberately damages the property, that's criminal damage, and the police may get involved.

GDB2222

DullGreyGuy said:

How do you think you are incentivising her by offering her what she is entitled to?

The logical thing to do is to offer the wife an extra couple of £k if she leaves the place in good condition. However,  I don't think the OP would countenance it. 

ThisIsWeird

GDB2222 said:

"What happens with a normal sale if damage has been caused between EoC and Comp? No idea. But wouldn't the same apply here?"

The OP is not buying it from his ex-wife. The sellers are the ex-wife and himself, jointly. That complicates matters, as he can't sue himself, obviously. 

If the wife deliberately damages the property, that's criminal damage, and the police may get involved.

Isn't she allowed to damage her own property? :-) 

Titus_Wadd

Would exchange and completion scheduled for the same time help?  As in the Op's solicitor won't exchange and complete until Op rings and instructs, having carried out a final viewing to check for vandalism?

Never underestimate the vindictive person's creativity when it comes to revenge...a friend found crabsticks under their carpet....fortunately found in a couple of days, but finding the source of the niff could have taken longer and become much worse!  All the precautions you can take might still not prevent a committed vengeance monster.

However, I bought my ex out (early 90s >15% interest rates etc) and with hindsight I should have sold, taken my share of the equity and bought again from scratch.  Keeping the home seems like "better the devil" and less stress than moving, but there are other options.

GDB2222

If I recall correctly, the op has posted previously about this, possibly under a different name. The wife is making it difficult to sell the property, and she seems to be determined to drive the price down so that there’s nothing left for the OP after she has taken her £140k.

At least that’s what he thinks. 

Mutton_Geoff

Exodi said:

maxmerlin said:

Hello

The house is currently up for sale.  My ex's share would be £140k even if the house value drops ( this was agreed in court )

But it would also be £140k even if the house value goes up.

I think given that you accept yourself it has been a difficult divorce, I think your suggestion of holding back money until you personally decide whether to give her the full amount (that a court decided) is just adding more fuel to the fire.

What would stop you from saying "I didn't notice the downstairs tap leaking before, I deem that to be an act of vandalism ... the carpets are also a bit grotty, seems intentional to me, I'll be deducting the cost of a professional clean and redecoration" - obviously extreme examples, but you get my point. It's obviously not realistic to expect that you will be able to define every single act that might be considered 'vandalism'.

I think there comes a time where, even though things may not be 'fair', you have to draw a line in the sand and move on.

My current house had a door punched through, knife walks the entire length of the staircase wall, a cracked toilet and a missing bathroom mirror. When you are talking about hundreds of thousands of pounds, all of these jobs are relatively irrelevant, don't fall into extending the trauma by moving to 'it's the principle' logic, just get it sorted.

(it wasn't my ex by the way - I bought a house from a couple that had clearly had a sour divorce... was kinda daft to clearly vandalise the house when it was being sold, but I got it for a bargain).

Agents love these 3D bargains- debt, death or divorce

Exodi

Mutton_Geoff said:

Exodi said:

maxmerlin said:

Hello

The house is currently up for sale.  My ex's share would be £140k even if the house value drops ( this was agreed in court )

But it would also be £140k even if the house value goes up.

I think given that you accept yourself it has been a difficult divorce, I think your suggestion of holding back money until you personally decide whether to give her the full amount (that a court decided) is just adding more fuel to the fire.

What would stop you from saying "I didn't notice the downstairs tap leaking before, I deem that to be an act of vandalism ... the carpets are also a bit grotty, seems intentional to me, I'll be deducting the cost of a professional clean and redecoration" - obviously extreme examples, but you get my point. It's obviously not realistic to expect that you will be able to define every single act that might be considered 'vandalism'.

I think there comes a time where, even though things may not be 'fair', you have to draw a line in the sand and move on.

My current house had a door punched through, knife walks the entire length of the staircase wall, a cracked toilet and a missing bathroom mirror. When you are talking about hundreds of thousands of pounds, all of these jobs are relatively irrelevant, don't fall into extending the trauma by moving to 'it's the principle' logic, just get it sorted.

(it wasn't my ex by the way - I bought a house from a couple that had clearly had a sour divorce... was kinda daft to clearly vandalise the house when it was being sold, but I got it for a bargain).

Agents love these 3D bargains- debt, death or divorce

As do (patient) buyers!

Takes a bit longer but I pretty much made £30k the day I moved in, though you need thick skin to deal with:

[Asks questions about property]
"I don't know, my ex-husband dealt with that"
"Oh... can you ask him?"
"No, we're not speaking at the moment"

lookstraightahead

Exodi said:

Mutton_Geoff said:

Exodi said:

maxmerlin said:

Hello

The house is currently up for sale.  My ex's share would be £140k even if the house value drops ( this was agreed in court )

But it would also be £140k even if the house value goes up.

I think given that you accept yourself it has been a difficult divorce, I think your suggestion of holding back money until you personally decide whether to give her the full amount (that a court decided) is just adding more fuel to the fire.

What would stop you from saying "I didn't notice the downstairs tap leaking before, I deem that to be an act of vandalism ... the carpets are also a bit grotty, seems intentional to me, I'll be deducting the cost of a professional clean and redecoration" - obviously extreme examples, but you get my point. It's obviously not realistic to expect that you will be able to define every single act that might be considered 'vandalism'.

I think there comes a time where, even though things may not be 'fair', you have to draw a line in the sand and move on.

My current house had a door punched through, knife walks the entire length of the staircase wall, a cracked toilet and a missing bathroom mirror. When you are talking about hundreds of thousands of pounds, all of these jobs are relatively irrelevant, don't fall into extending the trauma by moving to 'it's the principle' logic, just get it sorted.

(it wasn't my ex by the way - I bought a house from a couple that had clearly had a sour divorce... was kinda daft to clearly vandalise the house when it was being sold, but I got it for a bargain).

Agents love these 3D bargains- debt, death or divorce

As do (patient) buyers!

Takes a bit longer but I pretty much made £30k the day I moved in, though you need thick skin to deal with:

[Asks questions about property]
"I don't know, my ex-husband dealt with that"
"Oh... can you ask him?"
"No, we're not speaking at the moment"

Did you sell the day you moved in? 

Exodi

lookstraightahead said:

Exodi said:

Mutton_Geoff said:

Exodi said:

maxmerlin said:

Hello

The house is currently up for sale.  My ex's share would be £140k even if the house value drops ( this was agreed in court )

But it would also be £140k even if the house value goes up.

I think given that you accept yourself it has been a difficult divorce, I think your suggestion of holding back money until you personally decide whether to give her the full amount (that a court decided) is just adding more fuel to the fire.

What would stop you from saying "I didn't notice the downstairs tap leaking before, I deem that to be an act of vandalism ... the carpets are also a bit grotty, seems intentional to me, I'll be deducting the cost of a professional clean and redecoration" - obviously extreme examples, but you get my point. It's obviously not realistic to expect that you will be able to define every single act that might be considered 'vandalism'.

I think there comes a time where, even though things may not be 'fair', you have to draw a line in the sand and move on.

My current house had a door punched through, knife walks the entire length of the staircase wall, a cracked toilet and a missing bathroom mirror. When you are talking about hundreds of thousands of pounds, all of these jobs are relatively irrelevant, don't fall into extending the trauma by moving to 'it's the principle' logic, just get it sorted.

(it wasn't my ex by the way - I bought a house from a couple that had clearly had a sour divorce... was kinda daft to clearly vandalise the house when it was being sold, but I got it for a bargain).

Agents love these 3D bargains- debt, death or divorce

As do (patient) buyers!

Takes a bit longer but I pretty much made £30k the day I moved in, though you need thick skin to deal with:

[Asks questions about property]
"I don't know, my ex-husband dealt with that"
"Oh... can you ask him?"
"No, we're not speaking at the moment"

Did you sell the day you moved in? 

Yes, very clever.

Obviously if I sell a car to WeBuyAnyCar, that doesn't mean the market value of my car is what they paid for it. Just another example of the interaction between convenience (or lack thereof) and price.

If the question is 'how do you know £30k' then I don't know that to the specific pound, but there were similar sized semi-detatched houses (mine is detached) selling for about what I paid for it around the same time. It's no secret that many buyers avoid divorce or probate properties - the transaction for mine took over half a year and as I said in another thread, the house had been clearly vandalised when I moved in.