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Simplifying Life
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mary43 - I don't have the asnwers I'm afraid but i do know that it takes 28 days to lose a habit and 28 to form a new one (roughly!!) so....... I put intrusive thoughts and worries into an imaginary envelope and say I won;t think of them until tomorrow at 4pm. I think I got the bare bones of this from Gone With The Wind - doesn't Scarlet say 'I'll think of it tomorrow' rather than deal with anything? So...it's a variation on that which can bring peace of mind. Another good thought/ comparison is burnt toast/ forest fire. Which is it (ie your thought/ worry) and do you know yet which it is? Furthermore, it doesn't have to be one or the other - there are many variations inbetween. So, if you tend to think the worst, you are just giving yourself extra hassle.
Now..ha! I am one of life'w worriers who has worked away at this which is why I say i don't have the asnwers. i can just say what works for me. I also use 'this too shall pass' (will pass??) Julian of Norwich. Nothing stays the same. Another trick is to centre yourself by staying in the moment - "what is happening right now while x and y thoughts are racing round my head? The washing machine is on - the clock is ticking - my feet are on the ground, linking me to mother earth 'who' has been around for a lot longer than me and who has dealt with a lot more than i have to deal with"
I think one good thing to learn - and you have to practise - is not to give yourself a hard time if and when you do get distracted by negative thoughts and worries.
re your bigger bookcase and the newly claimed space where your OH has removed books - could you place a pretty vase or something there to remind you not to fill it up?
W0 -
Sound advice wmf - thanks for that. I'll certainly give it a try.......particularly the 'I'll worry about it tomorrow'.............I can be a great one for saying I'll 'do'' things tomorrow so I ought to be able to apply the same principle to little niggles. And they are usually little ones but like anything, enough of them can become a mountain.
I can sit and sort through someone elses worries by dealing with problems one by one in order of importance.............so I should be able to apply the same to myself and I can.......sometimes. Big things I find easier to deal with for some reason but little irritations creep in. My frame of mind can vary day to day too.One day I can be very much on the 'life's too short to waste it worrying' level and another day just the opposite.
As for the bookcase............its a glass fronted one built into a recess tailor made for books really and anything else would seem a bit lost. On the other hand the top shelf of my own small set of bookshelves is covered with vases, bits and pieces that I just love and I quite like that about it. Though it does mean I have one less shelf to put my own books on..........the price I pay I suppose for wanting to have the things I love visible and not hidden away.
I wont thin my books out and claim any of the space now in the glass fronted one. I'll be really firm with myself and get rid. Saturday is my deadline........if I don't do it by then I know I just won't do it and then I'll regret it. I've been promising myself this for months now and have a first rate reason now..........I've my 27/9 to think of for a start and how can I not sort mine out when OH, after lots of pleading/nagging has finally done his...........lolMary
I'm creative -you can't expect me to be neat too !
(Good Enough Member No.48)0 -
I once met a couple who said that in their house 10pm was PWT (Past Worrying Time). If they hadn't sorted out a problem by then they put it aside to be worried about when they were fresh in the morning. It seemed to work for them.
In the grand scheme of things most of our worries will seem trivial in quite a short time. One sobering thought is something I read in one of those New Age self help books. We cannot actually control anything except our reaction to what is happening to us.
We have little or no influence over other people, we can't control the weather or even our own moods. All we can do is temper our impatience and learn to ride out the storms. As wmf said 'this too shall pass'.
It's true of good times too, so we need to take the time to enjoy them instead of being fixated on some future time when everything will be perfect. You know, like 'when I have bought/fixed/achieved x, y, or z, then I will be happy'. I saw a woman out with two small children today and she seemed to have all the time in the world for them. I was always so busy, busy when mine were small. I was, briefly, quite envious....but then I remembered how much I had to fit into a day then and how tired I was, so that envy soon passed.0 -
Great post Charis! I love the idea of PWT and am going to officially adopt it along with the envelope system!
Good for you mary43 for letting the books go -it will free up space and they will bless someone else.
Have looked out one leather belt and a T shirt so going to drop them off to charity shop soon. Took in the bagful yesterday so was pleased to see that go - some clothes off to a new home - nice thought. OH handed over 2 Hard Rock t shirts as he has decided he won't wear them anymore. Someone will like them and that makes me smile. He enjoyed them for a while and now it's someone else's turn.
W0 -
Now we have all decluttered to some extent, the next priority will be cleaning. I know there are lots of threads on MSE but here's one that will simplify what to use for what and where to find it. Best of all, it's a UK site.
http://www.lowimpact.org/factsheet_natural_cleaners.htm0 -
Cleaning ??? Oh dear Charis..............one of my worst nightmares !!! Can';t really do anything much until the stuff I've got has been collected.
Went to look at a pine dressers in OH's boss's shop this morning. It's lovely, affordable (just) and would be just the motivation I need to have a real set too in our kitchen. Its very deep so its a case really of whether it will slide through out doorways ..............I measured it and think it will - just..........will discuss with OH when he comes home later.
It even got me wanting to throw out an old arm chair we've got in the kitchen. No-one ever sits in it (very uncomfortable) and it's a hot spot for dumping school bags, washing,coats and anything else. So, I think that will have to go along with an old pine unit we adapted about 20 years ago to accomodate the tele and video. Its about three foot wide.........takes up more than its fair share of space I think and I've a nice pine cupboard I think I could stand the tele on up the corner. So, I'd be creating so much more room not just in the kitchen but in my head I think.
Thought about the 'worry'' thing last night and remembered something I used to do after my first husband died, then divorce from 2nd marriage and all the problems that went with it. I used to write to my friend telling her all my woes...............then I'd read what I'd written and think 'Is that all you're worrying about ?'...............it seemed so trivial once I'd written it all down. I could work out the things I could deal with myself, those I'd need help with and get the professional help and the rest, well they were just sort of 'hangers on'..............worries you get that needn't really be there if you know what I mean. I still used to send my friend the letter but always put a note in with it telling her not to worry about my worries...........and hoped she could have a chuckle about it as it all seemed so silly. She did chuckle and if she felt the same as often she did, then she wrote to me. By the end of the letter she'd normally solved the problems she thought she had.
Good therapy and I can't believe I forgot I used to do that.............lolMary
I'm creative -you can't expect me to be neat too !
(Good Enough Member No.48)0 -
Well I've just done well over my 27 items !!!!! Phew !!! OH thinks the pine dresser will be a squeeze through the door but will fit..........so, tomorrow morning three other chappies and OH will do their bit to make it so. I've done my part by clearing out the old one...............sorted out a load of stuff for ex foster girls sister to collect on Saturday and am currently surrounded by boxes and carrier bags............some to go, some to go on and in the new dresser.................oh fingers crossed it doesn't get stuck half way through the door..............my stress levels will soar !!!!
I've been thorough, oh so thorough ! Armchair that is hot spot for school bags etc will be taken away in the monring along with old pine unit OH converted for video...........can sell that in OH's boss's shop..........They're bring the new one up just after ten tomorrow.............can't wait now !!
My lot of books will be sorted on Friday and hopefully that'll be it, for this week at least.:TMary
I'm creative -you can't expect me to be neat too !
(Good Enough Member No.48)0 -
Charis - I 'kind of' flylady so hoping that my cleaning won't be too traumatic! Thanks for the link - DD did a grand job on the stainless steel cooker hob this week. She's out at the mo so I can't ask what she used but I know it involved a paste with bicarb and maybe lemon juice. She polished it up with baby oil afterwards and it really gleamed. We've managed to track down Stardrops so I'm ready to clean with that too..
mary43 - with all that you are dealing with and sorting out, it's little wonder that your way of dealing with worries has been momentarily lost! Hope you pick up the habit again as it sounds like a good way of rationalising and prioritising to me.
I bought a 2nd hand chair today from an antique shop. It isn't really an antique but is a wonderful little wooden straw based (you know what I mean!) chair, hand painted in dark green and yellow, with stencilled shelf thing on the back. I think it is from a school room maybe. £6 anyway and is perfect for my new corner of the bedroom which I am reclaiming from the ironing pile and calling my little sanctuary of peace and tranquility. Saw the chair a couple of weeks ago but it was in another village so I haven't been back until today. Delighted it was still there! This will (hopefully) encourage me to get through the ironing and maybe sort out some more stuff for the charity shop.
Good luck everyone with your simplifying!
W0 -
Thanks wmf - hopefully if all goes well tomorrow I'll be doing the pleasurable job of arranging stuff on shelves etc. and it'll be a lot clearer then which of these endless carrier bags/boxes surrounding me are for the 'out' and which are to keep...............lol
The chair sound lovely and what a bargain at that price.........lucky you :jMary
I'm creative -you can't expect me to be neat too !
(Good Enough Member No.48)0 -
Interested in you getting your "peace corner" wmf - wouldnt mind a looksee if you're able to upload photos onto Internet. And....anyone else with a "peace corner" or "peace room". I'm too techno-illiterate to post mine...but (to quote a phrase from earlier in my thread)..."I'm a nosy cove" - so would be interested.:D0
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