To regift or not to regift...

Pollycat

Pollycat said:

I think people should have a really good think about who they are buying gifts for and why - especially nowadays when money is so tight.

Is there really any point in buying a bottle of wine for someone who is gifting you a bottle of wine - which you may or may not like anyway? That's just reciprocal gifting. Buying someone something because you know they are going to gift you something.

I buy birthday and Christmas presents for one friend and birthday presents for another friend.
We know each other very well and know what each other likes.

I posted this 8 months ago.
I still think it applies.
Why are people buying gifts for people that they don't know well enough to know what their taste is?
As I've said above, I know when a friend wears something that I've bought them years ago.
It was bought because I know their tastes.
And ditto from them.
No need to regift.
I think anyone who does regift should think seriously about why they are buying gifts.

MikeJXE

tealady said:

I solved the problem by asking everyone not to buy me a gift but treat themselves instead.
I love hearing what they have bought (often stuff I would never have thought of).
Cards are a different story, love getting a card.

Thats what I did years ago 

I only give to grandkids now £20 each till they reach 18 years old then it stops as they will earn more than my pension

My family rarely buy me gifts or cards

I buy 23 birthday and 23 Christmas cards for family and usually get 3 back but that doesn't bother me as I like to give if I can anyway 

I walked into a local shop for something a couple of days ago and there was a mother and 3 little girls probably 3 years old and looked like triplets.

They were looking at the sweet racks in envy so I gave them a pound each, they are the pleasures I like to see 

thriftytracey

MikeJXE

What a thoughtful gesture.

We send cash to my husband's teenage grandchildren.  Never get an acknowledgement.  When they visit they show no interest in us and stare at their phones all day.   I want to end it at 18.  Not sure how to phrase it though to his Son and Daughter in Law ....  We are on a fixed income, which with the cost of living crisis is gradually being eroded.

The DIL once told me the children get so many gifts she puts some in the loft to give them on a later occasion.

Pollycat

thriftytracey said:

MikeJXE

What a thoughtful gesture.

We send cash to my husband's teenage grandchildren.  Never get an acknowledgement.  When they visit they show no interest in us and stare at their phones all day.   I want to end it at 18.  Not sure how to phrase it though to his Son and Daughter in Law ....  We are on a fixed income, which with the cost of living crisis is gradually being eroded.

The DIL once told me the children get so many gifts she puts some in the loft to give them on a later occasion.

Doe your husband agree with you?

If he does, let him phrase it.

thriftytracey

Oh yes, he will be the one to break the news!

Grandmama

I put any unwanted gifts in my good to.go.raffle box.  When asked for a raffle prize, I choose one, first checking that the giver isn't involved in the charity, then off it goes!

Spendless

The comments on here from people who are pensioners about being on fixed incomes is exactly why I still buy for my older relatives. I still buy for my one remaining Grandparent who is 98 as well as parent and FIL - who are mid 70s-early 80s. Sometimes I've bought presents that help with their costs, Dad shaving items or my parents a book that gave them money off when they ate out. Nan a warm fluffy blanket to keep on her sofa. I know a lot of people say 'just buy for the children' but mine when little could be like another comment overloaded with stuff. It's actually as they eased into adult life from 18 (the age many people stop buying) that they started 'needing' stuff because they became students and living on very little (the pandemic affected DS ability to work though he eventually found something online, her hours currently affect DD though she's looking). If they'd both gone from sixth form to f-time jobs whilst living at home it would have been different. For this reason I'd always say 21 before I stopped buying to give them a little time to establish their adult life

I wouldn't say my (late) MIL didn't know me when buying a gift it was just she had very fixed ideas of what a present should be - always practical and frequently basic everyday/household stuff and you weren't going to change her, even if her idea of gifting a bath and toilet mat set  wasn't something I'd do. 

I just think some people aren't that good at gift buying and also some things you only know if you get onto a specific topic. My Mum dislikes candles, she's convinced they;ll cause a house fire, so pointless buying her one. You'd only know that though if you got into a specific conversation about them with her 

I can't say I've ever re-gifted anything major but I like bath products and it's difficult to buy a set that doesn't contain some sort of body lotion/cream that I rarely use. I know someone likes it and yes it might end up in a little gift set I've created. 

Longwalker

Stopped buying gifts years ago

Mum still gets as she has a Christmas Birthday. The two youngest grandkids get - the oldest is now in work so will just get a token pressie

I have two , maybe three girlfriends I like to buy a little something for , and its small , personal to them, not a generic gift set

Mum also doesn't get that we want for nothing, compared to so many people that is. But she has only us left in her life and she likes to shop so she does go overboard with things not wanted. But she wont be told. I dont do smellies or chocolates so Mr L sorts out the choccies and the smellies go to the local charity.

As for us as a couple, we do buy a small pressie, so we have something to unwrap. One year I was totally delighted with a book, £2 from the charity shop  

Angelica123

I am not a huge fan of receiving physical gifts  (I much prefer experiential gifts). My family have always been pragmatic and exchanged lists to avoid giving unwanted gifts. I see nothing wrong with re-gifting as long as either you a) regift to someone who might actually enjoy the gift - there's nothing worse than having someone else's clutter just become your clutter because you don't want the item either or b) donated to a good cause.