Extra Care housing costs

GDB2222

skyblues87 said:

carefullycautious said:

Local Authority sheltered accommodation? She could rent a small apartment or bungalow in her area. Check with her local authority for how to apply. 

Paying all those service charges for a depreciating property would be an absolute no no.

That's exactly my thinking the more I look into it. The prices on these properties seem to have a huge premium for being relatively new and in a larger retirement village, we're talking double similar sized properties in the same area. Although of course you're not getting the value back anyway as you only get back the price you paid less considerable deductions.

There's some nice maisonettes near where she is now, not really much on site but does have emergency pull cords in the room and the properties themselves are a more manageable size but she's already found a reason to rule those out

I would not get too hung up on the pull cords. A friend wears a button on a ribbon round her neck. Mum may find it difficult to adjust to a much smaller property, and these retirement homes tend to have very small rooms. 

Maybe look into ordinary flats or bungalows, and add any extra facilities that are needed. 

skyblues87

Marmaduke123 said:

Can she afford to pay a handyman or similar to do necessary jobs, or are you talking about admin tasks? I was widowed last year and am very wary of asking my sons to do anything time consuming in the house. 

 I've employed a handyman a couple of times . I don't need help with admin as I always did that anyway

She can, and I've arranged people for a few things but I have two concerns on that front. Firstly how quickly things could get out of control. She is constantly wanting things done, not fixing things or essential things, constant decorating to one up the neighbours. That could drain funds fast. 

Secondly I have concerns about her being scammed. Despite repeatedly being told not to get anyone in without me checking it out she has already been scammed once, thankfully for very little. And when something needs doing she will recommend people to me on the basis that they have a website or van and therefore must be legit. 

Marmaduke123

It sounds as if you have more of a problem than just finding a place for your mother to downsize to. Has she always been like this, or is it new behaviour since she's been widowed.? Does she have an LPA in place?

skyblues87

Marmaduke123 said:

It sounds as if you have more of a problem than just finding a place for your mother to downsize to. Has she always been like this, or is it new behaviour since she's been widowed.? Does she have an LPA in place?

She's always been like this. They moved from a 3 bed semi on a very nice estate to a bigger place a couple of minutes away when I was a couple of years off going to uni and I'm an only child. As far as I can tell the only reason for doing so was getting one up on the neighbours 

If you've ever seen Keeping Up Appearances that's not a millions miles away from what my mum is like and its definitely making an already difficult process a lot harder

diystarter7

GDB2222 said:

skyblues87 said:

carefullycautious said:

Local Authority sheltered accommodation? She could rent a small apartment or bungalow in her area. Check with her local authority for how to apply. 

Paying all those service charges for a depreciating property would be an absolute no no.

That's exactly my thinking the more I look into it. The prices on these properties seem to have a huge premium for being relatively new and in a larger retirement village, we're talking double similar sized properties in the same area. Although of course you're not getting the value back anyway as you only get back the price you paid less considerable deductions.

There's some nice maisonettes near where she is now, not really much on site but does have emergency pull cords in the room and the properties themselves are a more manageable size but she's already found a reason to rule those out

I would not get too hung up on the pull cords. A friend wears a button on a ribbon round her neck. Mum may find it difficult to adjust to a much smaller property, and these retirement homes tend to have very small rooms. 

Maybe look into ordinary flats or bungalows, and add any extra facilities that are needed. 

Hi

A polite heads up.  Often, you can have the button on a strap like a watch

Re shelter places and extra care - some of the rooms were very big with massive windows, but pay more for the larger rooms and people have leared that people do not want to be stuck in a bedsit, so often now large lounge and good sized bedrooms with good sized level access showers available in schemes around where I worked a few surrounding areas

Thnaks

youth_leader

I am sorry your father is in end of life care, my sympathies, that's very tough on you all.  I hope you do have a Property and Finance LPA in place for your mother. 

I can see why your Mum will want to stay in the family home for as long as possible, if she can afford to,  then I'd continue to support her there.  You need to take a firm line and tell her you work full time/have your family to care for,  and cannot do the decorating/DIY work, and find trusted trades to do these jobs for her.  Age Concern have a list of recommended trades, local FB community page recommendations are normally good.  My widowed grandmother had my mother at her beck and call with DIY jobs and ran her ragged with her demands, my mother felt she couldn't say no, still the child.  I've told my kids they will have to parent me when I am older.

Having a plan for a future in the house will help and discussing this would be positive.  When you have the meeting you can agree on a 'decorating' schedule, as it obviously gives her pleasure.  She might be kicking against being older, but adaptations will need to be made for her personal safety, especially with stairs/bathing facilities.  When the time is right she can invite private carers to come in twice a day (£22 per hour in the NE here), in the future she may want to go into assisted living,  or if she requires medical help, a nursing home. There was going to be a bill to cap care costs to £85K this October, I think it's been postponed.  The living costs of approximately £25K will still have to be funded.

I had no choice but to downsize when my husband died, and was lucky enough to get a bungalow, which is easy to maintain, with low bills. 

Good luck.