Split from Partner - Money Issues and House Problem

corkyefes

Good afternoon,

I was wondering if anybody could offer some advice on my situation.

I have split from my partner and we have two kids and a mortgage together.
My partner has told me that he is struggling for money and struggling to pay his bills and we may have to sell the house.
I know however he cannot force me to sell until my second child is 18 (Please correct me if I'm wrong).

He is currently paying me child maintenance privately and I have thought about helping him out by saying he doesn't need to pay it.
However, I then don't think it's fair that I pay for the mortgage alone and he reaps the benefit of any profit we make, when we do eventually sell it.

Is there anything I can put in place (with a solicitor for example) to say that he doesn't get any of the money when the house is eventually sold, because hes not contributed? 

I cannot take him off the mortgage because my lender says I cannot do it based on my affordability and also, I cannot 'buy out' my partner, as I cannot afford a new mortgage also. But I'm worried that if he declares bankruptcy, I will be forced to sell the house anyway.

Any advice is very much welcomed!

elsien

I’m sorry, but I don’t think there’s anything that says you’re allowed to stay in the house until your child is 18, although that does quite often crop up on here as a misconception.

Are  are you married - I’m guessing not because you use the word partner. So how was the house bought, and how is it owned at present? Did you both for equal amounts into the deposit and is there any sort of deed detailing what would happen if you did split?

Can you afford to pay the mortgage on your own?

 The difficulty from his perspective might be that he will still need to pay for somewhere else to live if he moves out, plus his share of the mortgage, plus child maintenance. I don’t think that’s a particularly reasonable expectation as someone who is financially struggling, for however long it is until your second child is 18.

Selling up and moving somewhere more affordable might be what you need to consider.

saveallmymoney

You are referencing a "mesher" order made during the divorce where its agreed one party stays in the marital home.

A financial settlement will do the best to house you both with the funds available. It doesn't sound like there is enough between the two of you for you to keep the house.

corkyefes

Hi, thanks for the comments.

No we are not married and we didn't have anything put in the deeds about what happens if we split.

In terms of the deposit, it was from our previous house sale and I cannot remember how we raised that first house deposit, but we neither of us would have proof, if it was challenged by the other that they paid more to the deposit.

I looked on the internet and see that my partner cannot force me to sell, unless he can prove there's a good reason, which I guess struggling financially would be a good reason!
 
Currently I can afford the mortgage on my own, but I contacted the bank about taking the mortgage on solely, which they said it was not possible. I also don't earn enough to get a mortgage to buy out my ex.

I don't want to move house as this is perfect for me and my boys, so that's why I was questioning if I could get my partner to sign anything to agree that hes not entitled to anything, as hes not contributed.

I just don't know what to do 

elsien

I think it’s still about what might happen in the future, if he ever needs to claim means tested benefits – for example if he’s out of work – and his half of your house counts as an asset if he wasn’t living there. 
However much you want to stay put, if he is struggling financially and on the verge of bankruptcy you may be better just cutting your losses and severing the financial ties now.
How old are your children?

corkyefes

Thanks for the comments Elsien.
They are 9 and 6.

Brie

Not sure if this will work or not but my suggestion would be to get the house valued now he's moved out and get something signed to say that he only gets 50% max of that value, not what it might sell for in however many years time.  This might work if you are both reasonable individuals ("divorces" can bring out the worst in people as we all know) and you are the only one paying the mortgage.  The bank won't care that he's not paying or not living there or is considered to have a lesser interest in the house as long as someone is meeting all the payments.  

You may also want to ensure that you have a will in place (& him too one would guess) to ensure "your" portion doesn't go to him should the worst happen.  

sheramber

If he is struggling for money he may not be able to pay the mortgage which would result in the lender repossessing the house.

JReacher1

You will struggle to remortgage when your rate ends if your partner doesn't agree to it.  You might be better to sell the house, split the money and then both go your own ways.

Otherwise like you say your partner is going to benefit from the profit when you do sell the house in the future.  

Emmia

Whilst the house is perfect for you and the kids, you can't afford it financially by yourself - so you should sell, split the proceeds and then you and your ex should buy/rent your own places. 

The new properties are unlikely to be the same as your current place though in terms of space /location - but that is the price of separation unfortunately.

michelle09

I'd start from the legal perspective first (fair can have a lot of variation. You don't think it's fair that you pay all the mortgage and he gets half the equity, he may not think it fair for you both to pay half the mortgage but him have to pay full rent too.)

If no other provisions were made:

- You must both sign the contract to sell the house. Neither can sell without the other. And if you are joint tenants it would be a 50/50 split of the sale.

- But if you both own it, you can both live in it. He can legally move back in tomorrow (and you can both have any guests/partners you choose.)

- You both need to sign any remortgage. If he wanted to push and refused to pay or sign a new mortgage, could you afford the current variable rate by yourself?

As a previous poster has said, splits/divorce can bring out the worst in people. 

Personally I would get something in place to fully separate. Is keeping the house worth the knowledge that ex plus new girlfriend and her 3 children could suddenly move in? Like I said, fair is subjective but whatever you agree, make sure you get legal advice and get it formalised. You don't want a verbal agreement that one of you can ignore later.