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Administrator late mother

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My mother moved from hospital into a care home. Mum had dementia and I was her full time unpaid carer. There was no PoA or guardianship in place so the hospital social worker and mum's welfare officer got me to sign a contract making me mum's administrator which means I am responsible for all of mum's debt and paying her bills.
Mum sadly died 4 days ago and I am arranging the funeral, as administrator, I am responsible for the cost of the funeral. Luckily mum had insurance that will cover the cost.
I have two issues that I need advice on. 
My siblings, who are furious that I was appointed Administrator, have taken matters into their own hands and have started to clear out mum's house without permission. Apart from being immoral, I may need to sell some of mum's items in the event of bills needing paid. How can I protect mum's estate? Some things I bought for mum ie furniture and white goods totalling £1500. I don't want them going to my greedy siblings when I paid for them - just adds insult to injury.
The other issue is mum was sent a bank statement and one of the siblings has taken it from mum's house and opened it and won't fess up to having it. This has meant that I cannot get all the DDs on the account esp details of the insurance policies so it is hampering in my ability to make claims. 
Needless to say I am distraught at the loss of my mother and the antics of my siblings have compounded my grief. 

Comments

  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 20,907 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 23 February 2023 at 9:01AM
    No one can be made administrator of an estate before someones death. Have a close look at the document you signed, I suspect it was a deferred payment agreement and the LA put a charge on her house which now needs to be sorted out by whoever is administering her estate. If she had a will the executors will be named in it, if she had not made one then any of her children could act as administrators. 

    If there is no will I would suggest you sit down with your sisters to A) explain what the situation is regarding the care costs and b) agree to work together on applying for probate. 
  • Marcon
    Marcon Posts: 14,493 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    No one can be made administrator of an estate before someones death. Have a close look at the document you signed, I suspect it was a deferred payment agreement and the LA put a charge on her house which now needs to be sorted out by whoever is administering her estate. If she had a will the executors will be named in it, if she had not made one then any of her children could act as administrators. 

    If there is no will I would suggest you sit down with your sisters to A) explain what the situation is regarding the care costs and b) agree to work together on applying for probate. 
    ^^^Quite^^^.

    Your mother's death was so recent that it must be incredibly raw, but even so, it might halt the family rumpus if you have another look at the document you signed and show it to your siblings. One of you (at least) will need to apply for letters of administration; whatever you signed, it won't have conferred that power on you.
    Googling on your question might have been both quicker and easier, if you're only after simple facts rather than opinions!  
  • bobster2
    bobster2 Posts: 964 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    My mother moved from hospital into a care home. Mum had dementia and I was her full time unpaid carer. There was no PoA or guardianship in place so the hospital social worker and mum's welfare officer got me to sign a contract making me mum's administrator which means I am responsible for all of mum's debt and paying her bills.
    Mum sadly died 4 days ago and I am arranging the funeral, as administrator, I am responsible for the cost of the funeral. Luckily mum had insurance that will cover the cost.
    I have two issues that I need advice on. 
    My siblings, who are furious that I was appointed Administrator, have taken matters into their own hands and have started to clear out mum's house without permission. Apart from being immoral, I may need to sell some of mum's items in the event of bills needing paid. How can I protect mum's estate? Some things I bought for mum ie furniture and white goods totalling £1500. I don't want them going to my greedy siblings when I paid for them - just adds insult to injury.
    The other issue is mum was sent a bank statement and one of the siblings has taken it from mum's house and opened it and won't fess up to having it. This has meant that I cannot get all the DDs on the account esp details of the insurance policies so it is hampering in my ability to make claims. 
    Needless to say I am distraught at the loss of my mother and the antics of my siblings have compounded my grief. 
    I'm sorry you're having to deal with such a difficult situation.

    "Administrator" for someone with dementia is a term that I think is used in other countries (not England at least). Were you in fact appointed as "Deputy" to look after her affairs when she was alive?

    In any case, PoA or Deputy - neither has any bearing on who is responsible for dealing with her estate.


  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,076 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 25 February 2023 at 7:09PM
    bobster2 said:
    My mother moved from hospital into a care home. Mum had dementia and I was her full time unpaid carer. There was no PoA or guardianship in place so the hospital social worker and mum's welfare officer got me to sign a contract making me mum's administrator which means I am responsible for all of mum's debt and paying her bills.
    Mum sadly died 4 days ago and I am arranging the funeral, as administrator, I am responsible for the cost of the funeral. Luckily mum had insurance that will cover the cost.
    I have two issues that I need advice on. 
    My siblings, who are furious that I was appointed Administrator, have taken matters into their own hands and have started to clear out mum's house without permission. Apart from being immoral, I may need to sell some of mum's items in the event of bills needing paid. How can I protect mum's estate? Some things I bought for mum ie furniture and white goods totalling £1500. I don't want them going to my greedy siblings when I paid for them - just adds insult to injury.
    The other issue is mum was sent a bank statement and one of the siblings has taken it from mum's house and opened it and won't fess up to having it. This has meant that I cannot get all the DDs on the account esp details of the insurance policies so it is hampering in my ability to make claims. 
    Needless to say I am distraught at the loss of my mother and the antics of my siblings have compounded my grief. 
    I'm sorry you're having to deal with such a difficult situation.

    "Administrator" for someone with dementia is a term that I think is used in other countries (not England at least). Were you in fact appointed as "Deputy" to look after her affairs when she was alive?

    In any case, PoA or Deputy - neither has any bearing on who is responsible for dealing with her estate.


    I doubt very much it would have been that because deputyship would’ve require a lot more than a signature on a form from a social worker.

    I also think that the OP has probably misunderstood and really needs to get the paperwork out to check what it was that they have signed. Without an LPA or deputyship the OP would have had no legal right to sign a deferred payment agreement over their parent’s house. I wonder if it was more a third-party top up the agreement which would not come out of the estate because the person can’t pay the third-party top up themselves.

    ETA, I am sorry for your loss and I can’t imagine how hard things are at the moment. But if your mum didn’t leave a will then you need to look at the intestacy rules to see who can apply to administer the estate and who is entitled to what. You are likely to need the letters of administration to be able to access the bank account details.

    You are not responsible for the cost of a funeral unless you sign the form is agreeing to that from the funeral director. You can request that the funeral expenses come directly from your mothers bank accounts if there is enough money in there.
    With regards to the items that you bought, it depends whether you gifted them to your mum or not as to what happens to them now. If you did gift them to her, then regardless if you paid for them they do not form part of her estate.

    How well do you normally get on with your siblings? It may be that they are resenting you taking everything over without discussion. Are you able to sit down with them and have a proper conversation about things?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
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