Occupation Order - hearing planned what actually happens (no solicitor)

Watty1

I wanted to pop back and close this thread off in case anyone in a similar position finds it.  This is what I learnt: (I found nothing like this one web which is why I am putting it here)

This is my story. It is not your story. It is not legal advice.  This is just what happened to me and I would have found it helpful to read someone's story  before I went so I am putting it here.

Costs can be awarded in family court.   It is unusual that they are sought, but, sometimes they are and then they can be awarded against you if you lose.   The judge will have discretion around the costs so, if you lose, the other side can claim their costs but the judge may direct that you pay less than they claim.

The letter from my ex's solicitor was very aggressive and a further example of the covert controlling behaviour that has been going on in the relationship.  It is for the judge to decide the outcome not the other side. The letter was designed to make me withdraw.  I very nearly did.  

Occupation Orders can be 2 hearings, not 1.   I thought it was a simple one hearing but actually they are often two. In some parts of the country the courts permit the first hearing in private (so just the applicant and the judge).   Where I live the first hearing is never in private because the view is it is depriving someone of their home.  The first hearing looks at the evidence and if it is clear for the judge there will only be one hearing.   

The 'other side' in domestic abuse cases often file late.   In  my case their position statement was filed at almost 4 pm the day before so the judge had not seen it. The women I had with me as support (more of that in a moment) passed me a note saying this is very common.  

The court will protect you.     I took a friend with me for support, I chose her because she is a 'guardian of the court' and so although she does not work in cases like mine she knew the basics.  We went through security then she quickly found me a consultation room to sit in and gather my thoughts.  This means the 'other side' cannot see me.   Then I went off to book in with the court.  I could have had my friend do this but I decided to do it, and we told the booking in lady where we would be and why.  She was also the usher and said there was a McKenzie Friend from a domestic abuse charity sitting in a room to the side and I could sit with her.  Luckily for me she was there on the day I was (she was there one day a week so it was chance).  Because she is a McKenzie Friend she was able to come in with me and whisper to me for support.  These people are not legally qualified but having her there felt better.  She reminded me to breathe.

The judge is rather like a headmaster.  I felt slightly subdued and called him sir because it seemed the right thing to do. He told me that some of my behaviours to date and been the wrong thing to do. I tried to explain why, he said he understood but I was still wrong so I smiled and said "yes sir".   He was correct.  I have not been my best self.

The judge said he had read my very long witness statement.   I thanked him (I was worried at this point it was too long and he was aggrieved but it was clear from his questioning of the other side he had indeed read it and understood it and was clear).
The judge also questioned the other side and asked insightful questions that the ex and his barrister had to confer.  It was clear to the judge my witness statement was correct during this.

The judge then, having asked questions, asked me if I would agree to the ex having 28 days to move out and I said yes. I agreed I would not damage remove or sell his possessions in that time. I agreed.  Unsurprisingly my ex found this period of time to short and his barrister put forward reasons, the judge asked me if I could accept 6 weeks and then explained the what would happen if I declined so  knew the facts.       (The other side would need to file a witness statement, then there would be a second hearing for an hour and they are harder to book in at short notice).

I accepted the six weeks on the understanding my ex will be away for four of those (his reason for needing 6 weeks). So I got the occupation order.

Other things I learnt:  the court ushers where for me very protective of me, they made sure I entered the court room and was seated before the ex came in.  A privacy screen was in place.  The court usher had seen my ex patrolling the corridors and knowing it was a domestic abuse case resolved that the next time he did it she would ask his barrister to make him sit in one place.  The McKenzie friend said we would be called to leave only when the ex had left the room.  We were, but the usher let us know that he was still in the building talking to his barrister and that she would let us know when he had left the building so I was able to wait until that had happened. 

Yes, it is scary to do this on my own but I did it.   My case had a weak point, my abuse was and is considered under the threshold by many although the threshold depends on the judges view.   My case had a strong point in that my ex has another house.

If you are reading this and thinking of applying get help.  Womens Aid can refer you to charities that will help and some even apply for you and represent you (if you are clearly above the threshold).   Legal Aid might be available (it was not in my case)  Womens Aid will have a support network local to you that often has a solicitor at drop in centres that are held once a week. If you cannot get out to a drop in centre ask if there is a telephone one where you call and they call you back.

To anyone who reads this in the position I was in, I am sorry you are facing what you are, but there is help.   I hung in there and now can live free of my ex while we settle our affairs. 

Savvy_Sue

So glad you did not back down. Hope the six weeks pass quickly!