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dawnmorris

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HillStreetBlues

What happens to whom will depend on who is lead carer.
I expect your friends is lead carer now,  do you  know if that will be changed?

NedS

As per @HillStreetBlues reply above, on UC one person gets to stay at home as the main carer for the children (under 3) and the other is expected to work or look for work.

If they agree that she is going to be the stay at home mum and he is going to look for work, then they would need to declare a change such that your friends partner (she) would be the main carer for the children and he would then be required to attend appointments on UC and look for work. If she is the main carer for a child under the age of 3, she cannot be sanctioned for leaving a job voluntarily.

If they are unable to agree who should be the main carer, a UC decision maker can decide for them, but that really isn't somewhere they should be going - they need to sort this out between them.

dawnmorris said:

If I am totally honest with you all, I’ve never in my life heard anyone ever say that, that it’s her turn to be at home. Also to add in, she has said to him that some of her work colleagues agree with her and her sister and mum do too.

To be brutally honest it is no one's business but theirs and is a personal choice. From a benefits / UC point of view, what they are proposing seems perfectly reasonable and is perfectly acceptable under the regulations.

calcotti

Exactly as Ned says.

comeandgo

You asked the same question in May 22 but then you were the working mum and your partner the stay at home dad.

sheramber

Normally, whoever earns the greater wage would be working.

If he is going to find a job what is the problem?

Whatever the arrangement it is between the two concerned and what anybody else thinks is irrelevant. 

TELLIT01

It's something only the couple can resolve and there is no simple answer to it.  Reading between the lines I get the impression that she thinks he is having an easy time of it, basically sitting on his posterior (polite version all day) while she does the work.  He might actually see the benefit of being out of the house once he thinks about caring for a baby and a toddler.