KMNs diary - curbing spending and maximising saving with a new baby

kiss_me_now9

It's a bargain in cash terms but my waistline is not enjoying it XD

kiss_me_now9

Made it to pay day with no major emergencies, quite pleased! I got my 'pay rise' this month which equated to an extra £600 in my pay... and an extra £300 after tax. It's backdated to April so works out at an extra £50 a month after tax. I don't know what I'll do with all that extra cash!  Unfortunately my line manager forgot to put my request for the two weekends I did in the last two months into pay roll so I won't get those until the end of this month, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise as it would have just amounted to more tax being paid again. 

I am going to aim for something a bit different in November. I find no spend days really hard, because there's always something I need to pay a little bit for (today, for instance, was playgroup for my little boy, £7 but we each get a cake, I get a cup of tea and he gets to run around like a maniac for an hour in a space that isn't my house so I don't have to tidy up - not the cheapest option but he loves it) but I am committing to try and do 12 no spend days in November, and crucially, to try and plan out when they are. Tuesdays and Sundays are a good choice, I don't work on a Tuesday but our little boy does go to childcare, so I spend the day doing housework and odd bits about the place. Sundays are now going to be taken up almost completely with panto rehearsals, which is on basically the whole time the shops are open, so no nipping here/there for anything. And the other 4 days can be during the week. I'm hoping this will work for me and make saving more of my pay a bit easier. 

I've started getting Christmas presents now. Mainly just got a few bits for our little one. I don't want to get him too much but there is so much I know he'd love! We have asked family to get a couple of bigger things like a balance bike but his birthday is early March as well so it's difficult to know what to get now and what to leave to his birthday. We are trying to be firm on a budget for everyone - here's hoping we can stick to it!

kiss_me_now9

So, a frustrating dilemma has once again reared it's ugly head in my life. 

We live, as I've said before in this thread, about 2.5 hours from our parents (they live in the same town). I have always wanted to be closer to them and working in the NHS I am acutely aware of how !!!!!! and cruel health can be sometimes, and now we have a little one, I don't want to miss a second of being near my family if I can help it. I would love for our family to grow up knowing that Nanny and Grandad are half an hour away, pop round there for lunch on my days off, at Christmas just nip over in the morning rather than having to trek up the motorway for hours and staying over. When LO is old enough to play sports, I'd love for them all to be able to pop down and watch him without it being an all day affair for them (at present they'd have to stay overnight if he was playing a football match at 10am). Obviously this is all hypothetical and in the future stuff, but I think about it a lot and it upsets me when we drive back home after a long weekend there. 

A job has come up that would - if we picked the right location - potentially put us within 40 minutes drive in traffic from both of our parents. It would be, again, if we picked the right location, within 30 minutes commute to the hospital offering the job. and under 2 hours to my sister (currently over 3 hours so we see her and her children once or twice a year at most). I would be working in my specialism again, that I'm passionate about, and I'd be offered a lot of opportunity to progress as it's a strong teaching hospital. I know people who work there and they like it, they're offered the opportunity to do MScs and explore research if they want to. It would give me a wealth of experience and put me in a really strong position to progress my career as my family gets older and I can take on more time at work. 

But there are three significant problems:
1) We would have to move away from OHs job. He can work from home, but is expected in the office at least twice a week. He thinks there is potentially some wiggle room with this but it would potentially require a change of contract and less benefits (it's a large American based company so he gets quite a lot of benefits that help financially, such as health insurance for dentist visits and guaranteed annual bonuses). He also loves his job and going into the office. We would be able to fulfill all the 'right location' parts and keep him within an hours commute on a good day, but could easily take an hour and a half if the traffic was bad. He earns double what I do and we require his income to pay for the majority of the house. 

2) This hospital works on a very different shift pattern to mine. At present I work 3 days in the week. 8am to 4pm and odd weekend days on a pre-arranged rota, so I know months in advance when my weekend days are, and I only have to do one every 8 weeks. This hospital does long shifts 8am to 6pm and a rolling rota of 4 days on, 4 days off. Both of which are a nightmare for childcare, even if I only did 3 days a week. They have confirmed they're open to negotiation over the hours but the whole trust is on this rolling rota and that is not going to change. We wouldn't be close enough to family for them to do childcare, and honestly I wouldn't want to burden them with that. Potentially I could be working M/T/W one week and T/F/S the next, so toddler would need to be in nursery 5 days a week which I do not want to do (I don't see the point of having a child if you're not going to spend time with them). OH would not be able to do pick up/drop off if he was commuting in and if I was made to do 8 - 6, he would have to work from home on those days, but that could change weekly, which is also a problem for his work as they want ideally set days (they have regularly meetings scheduled on say, a Thursday that he would be expected to be on site for). I don't really know how they expect anyone with a family to manage that, to be honest.

3) And the biggest problem, arguably, as the other two are potentially solvable... House prices in that area are about 20 - 30% higher than they are here. Just looked on RightMove this morning and there's not a lot on there, but also what is on there is eyewateringly expensive. A 3 bed with no parking and a tiny 3rd bedroom for £410k. A 3 bed terraced with one parking space and 1950s interiors with some questionable looking mould for £390k. We would likely sell this property for around 325k but how on earth would we afford anything there? My wage wouldn't increase unless I increased my hours, and even then it wouldn't increase by much. Childcare will also be more expensive there and we'd both be commuting further (both currently under 20 minutes drive) so we'd be paying for more diesel etc. 

We're not in debt, we're not wild spenders, don't have 300 credit cards or buy lavish things. Our last holiday was to Butlins and cost £290 for 5 days. Our next one is to Butlins again and costs a little more but roughly the same. We run two old cars, don't have any higher purchase/PCP and the only monthly outgoings except bills/childcare are TV subs and one bargain basement gym membership, so there's not a huge amount of wiggle room or time to save any more. 

Just feels impossible to actually access what I know would be an incredible opportunity. I've applied and we'll see if I get an interview, go from there if it goes well, but it's very frustrating and disheartening. 

Sarahwithlove

Whilst it sounds like a fab opportunity for you it seems it probably wouldn't work well for your family life which is a shame. But they may be open to some negotiation especially if you can find someone who will be covering the other half of your shifts that week that would also like more regular days. 

kiss_me_now9

Unfortunately I had to turn that post down, it was a dream job and move for me but just not feasible for us as a family. We'd be living pay cheque to pay cheque and I'd barely see my little one four days a week, which I just don't want, especially as we're hoping to have a second baby before 2026. Onwards and upwards!