When you buy a house but the relationship doesn't work out...?

B0bbyEwing

Not a situation I've ever had to concern myself with worrying over but unfortunately for the person involved in this I saw this coming an absolute mile off & I'm just wondering about the proceedings in these situations so that I can maybe better help them.

Ok so the situation is specifically this - a couple with a newborn buy a house. The couple are not married. They're splitting bills to a degree where they're both in agreement. 
If time in house matters then we're talking weeks. Literally just moved in but things are not going well at all & unless there's a drastic change I can see where this is heading.

The mortgage was taken over 35 years.
Mortgage in both of their names.
Neither have enough cash to buy the other persons half of the house.

The most likely outcome is the mother, who is the one I'm looking out for, would be the one to leave & need alternative accommodation. I can see the guy digging his heels in & saying "MY house, I'M going nowhere".

So if the mother did break off (& obviously would not want to be paying on a house she is no longer living in) then how does this kind of thing pan out considering the info given, as I don't imagine the bank is going to say no problem we'll just forget this mortgage thing ever happened. 

elsien

If neither one can buy the other out, then they’d have to sell up and if there’s any equity left over (which there won’t be at the moment) split it between them according to how the house is owned. 

If one person does leave, they remain equally liable for the mortgage for the rest of the term. No one wants that hanging over their head.

Devongardener

The couple are both liable for the joint mortgage.  The only solution is to sell, but of course they both have to agree to do that, and could lose money if they bought at the top of the market.   They should probably seek some counselling first.

Loza2016

I’m sure you already know but thought it’s worth a mention. Newborn baby’s can put a strain on even the best relationship. Both dealing with being new parents, lack of sleep and emotions all over the place. 

cjdew

New house, new baby, general doom and gloom news, cost of living etc. 

I would say maybe this is all getting on top of them and maybe the answer isn't an instant split. Especially as it seems to be financially bearly possible too? Counselling as a first port of call, along with help from other people with the newborn to give them a break. 

lika_86

If it's a fixed term mortgage then there's also an early repayment charge to think about.

TheJP

Counselling is what's needed here. New-borns are hard work and do put a strain on already strained relationships. You are a good friend for looking out, i implore you to tell your friend to seek guidance and counselling and if you can support them in anyway you can do it.

B0bbyEwing

Thanks for the replies. I can see him digging his heels in refusing to sell. Where would that leave her if she wants to & he doesn't? I assume that's when solicitors start getting involved & things get very messy/costly? 

Regards counselling - I kept this to the point to see what happens if things go south. There's a lot I haven't mentioned here as to why I personally feel counselling isn't the answer. 

There's a clear lack of maturity on his side. Absolutely disgusting remarks during the pregnancy showing a complete lack of regard to her & the babies health & the only thing that mattered was HIM getting HIS house. Disgusting remarks to her about the change in her body post-baby. Knocking her confidence insisting she's making wrong decisions regards feeding. 

Their foundations were never strong. They were arguing over the most ridiculous stuff before the pregnancy but all that is semi-irrelevant. The baby happened, they bought a house & so now they're in a situation that needs dealing with one way or another. 

I'd love nothing more than for it to work out as she'd have exactly what she wants then - happy family. 
But I'm a realist, not a dreamer & I'd be absolutely gobsmacked if it worked. 

As I've always said though, her decisions are hers to make, regardless of who agrees or not. If she ever needs to call on me for any help or even just to vent and I say nothing then whatever she needs I'll do what I can. 

TheJP

B0bbyEwing said:

Thanks for the replies. I can see him digging his heels in refusing to sell. Where would that leave her if she wants to & he doesn't? I assume that's when solicitors start getting involved & things get very messy/costly? 

Regards counselling - I kept this to the point to see what happens if things go south. There's a lot I haven't mentioned here as to why I personally feel counselling isn't the answer. 

There's a clear lack of maturity on his side. Absolutely disgusting remarks during the pregnancy showing a complete lack of regard to her & the babies health & the only thing that mattered was HIM getting HIS house. Disgusting remarks to her about the change in her body post-baby. Knocking her confidence insisting she's making wrong decisions regards feeding. 

Their foundations were never strong. They were arguing over the most ridiculous stuff before the pregnancy but all that is semi-irrelevant. The baby happened, they bought a house & so now they're in a situation that needs dealing with one way or another. 

I'd love nothing more than for it to work out as she'd have exactly what she wants then - happy family. 
But I'm a realist, not a dreamer & I'd be absolutely gobsmacked if it worked. 

As I've always said though, her decisions are hers to make, regardless of who agrees or not. If she ever needs to call on me for any help or even just to vent and I say nothing then whatever she needs I'll do what I can. 

You seem to be very involved in this situation. In the politest sense this doesn't help. Let them sort it out and be there for your friend if it does go south. No one needs a third wheel within their problems.

elsien

B0bbyEwing said:

Thanks for the replies. I can see him digging his heels in refusing to sell. Where would that leave her if she wants to & he doesn't? I assume that's when solicitors start getting involved & things get very messy/costly? 

Regards counselling - I kept this to the point to see what happens if things go south. There's a lot I haven't mentioned here as to why I personally feel counselling isn't the answer. 

There's a clear lack of maturity on his side. Absolutely disgusting remarks during the pregnancy showing a complete lack of regard to her & the babies health & the only thing that mattered was HIM getting HIS house. Disgusting remarks to her about the change in her body post-baby. Knocking her confidence insisting she's making wrong decisions regards feeding. 

Their foundations were never strong. They were arguing over the most ridiculous stuff before the pregnancy but all that is semi-irrelevant. The baby happened, they bought a house & so now they're in a situation that needs dealing with one way or another. 

I'd love nothing more than for it to work out as she'd have exactly what she wants then - happy family. 
But I'm a realist, not a dreamer & I'd be absolutely gobsmacked if it worked. 

As I've always said though, her decisions are hers to make, regardless of who agrees or not. If she ever needs to call on me for any help or even just to vent and I say nothing then whatever she needs I'll do what I can. 

You seem very invested in this considering that you are presuming they will split but that decision doesn't appear to have been made as yet. There does seem to be a lot of presuming going on here.
I appreciate you want information just in case, but she may be better off getting support from someone who doesn't have such a clear dislike of her partner of choice. 

Ksw3

counselling isn't recommended when there is abuse in the relationship. If that's what you are suggesting, then she would be better served by contacting a local domestic abuse charity or women's aid who also have access to legal advisers.