Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay less after friends gave me a worse room at our New Year's getaway?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Some friends and I booked to stay in a nice house over New Year's, with me the only single person going. At the last minute, another couple joined us, and it was decided that they'd get my double room overlooking a lake as they're a couple, and I'd sleep on the sofa bed in the TV room as I'm single. I didn't want to kick off about it and spoil the stay, and I did have a good time, but since then no one has mentioned compensating me for not getting the room I paid for. Should I say something

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NBLondon

Yes - that was discussed when the extra couple arrived and wanted the room you booked.  Or does "it was decided" mean you weren't consulted?    Was the original split per room or per person?

Brie

I'd be splitting costs by person rather than room.  And then expect that the person sleeping on the couch (uncomfortable, no privacy and at the mercy of everyone else's desire to sleep or not) should get a bottle of something at a minimum to say thanks for being accommodating.

Tahlullah.H

As this is a done deal and money has already exchanged hands, I cannot see how you will successfully get anyone to compensate you for this.  This should have been raised once the couple were invited, not after the event.

keithyno.1

Yes, I think you should. You say "it was decided" that this couple should get the room you'd PAID for, as if by a majority vote or something so we have to assume that you weren't asked outright if you'd be happy to give it up for them.

It sounds to me like you've been treated a bit lousily by your friends and taken advantage of, along the lines of, "Oh, he/she won't mind." You paid for a double room overlooking the lake but you didn't get it, and I think your friends should club together and give you a partial refund.

If it was me and I'd been treated so shabbily, like some sort of convenience because you're single and they're all couples, I'd certainly think first before going away with them again.

Obird63

keithyno.1 said:

Yes, I think you should. You say "it was decided" that this couple should get the room you'd PAID for, as if by a majority vote or something so we have to assume that you weren't asked outright if you'd be happy to give it up for them.

It sounds to me like you've been treated a bit lousily by your friends and taken advantage of, along the lines of, "Oh, he/she won't mind." You paid for a double room overlooking the lake but you didn't get it, and I think your friends should club together and give you a partial refund.

If it was me and I'd been treated so shabbily, like some sort of convenience because you're single and they're all couples, I'd certainly think first before going away with them again.

Oh this. Absolutely. You have been treated shabbily by your so-called friends... If there is a next time, you don't have to agree at all unless there is compensation. However, I think if you didn't raise it at the time, you have given tacit consent and so you will need to decide whether you want the compensation or their friendship because I rather suspect that raising it now, after the fact, is likely to result in some bad feeling... And given that you did go and you enjoyed yourself and you still didn't say anything, I don't see how your so-called friends will take it kindly now. Just make sure you don't get shafted again...

gothvixen

Too many people think that being part of a couple or having a child/children makes them a more worthwhile person. You should have been compensated and I absolutely wouldn't let it go. Treating you as undeserving of the room for which you paid is completely unacceptable. I wouldn't be able to maintain any sort of relationhip with anyone who was happy to treat me so shabbily. Once you show you can very eaily be disrespected people will continue to do so.

imkevspicer

NBLondon said:

Yes - that was discussed when the extra couple arrived and wanted the room you booked.  Or does "it was decided" mean you weren't consulted?    Was the original split per room or per person?

Arrangements had already been made, you paid your money. YOU should have kept your original room overlooking the lake. The couple should have been offered the sofa ‘before’ the break took place and they should have been given the choice ‘take it or leave it’ ! Looks like your ‘so called’ ‘friends’ have taken you for a mug !!! The money here is an issue of course, but the main point is how you were treated. Find yourself some ‘genuine’ friends ! 👍

NHenry

There seems to be two important issues here: a refund for the loss of a room you booked and assumed would be honoured and an acknowledgment that you were treated badly? 

It is difficult to ask for money, but you certainly have the right if you feel comfortable doing so. Especially as the two late comers would have chipped into the cost at the last minute, so you aren't taking additional money from others. 

I think it is more important, after the event, to gently point out that being expected to be relegated to a sofa in a communal room, when you booked assuming you would have a private room, just because you are a single person, is demeaning and unfair.
State that you do not want to be placed in this situation again. You are not the spare.

You could speak to someone in the group who is more empathetic first. 

J_F

If each person paid for their room upfront, the additional couple shouldn’t have been allowed to join if there were no more rooms available - if they were still invited, it should have been on the basis that they were happy to take the TV room as it was all that was available (& any of the other couples could also have given up their rooms instead, but they didn’t).  I don’t see how being a couple gave them any greater right to a room than a single person, & surely everyone’s room prices should've been reduced if there was an extra couple joining & sharing the costs too.  So yes, I think you should have paid a lower price as you did not get a room at all & you effectively just ended up reducing the cost of each of the other couples’ rooms for them.  I don’t think decent friends should put one another in that sort of situation.  You could perhaps tell them you aren't pleased, but waited to raise it until later to avoid spoiling things - if they’re not understanding, it’d perhaps cause me to question how equal the friendship actually is & why the other couple was allowed to come along when it was clear it'd be at your expense..

2702

Yes you should get a refund. You say this couple arrived at the last minute, so the holiday was already paid for, so whatever they paid would be extra? Where did that go?

I would be looking to get new "friends"