Ex wife won't collect her belongings. 30 December 2022 at 11:18AM in Marriage, relationships & families 10 replies 1.7K views

Lewisrice

My ex-moved out of the family home nearly 2 years ago, but hasn't collected any of her belongings. I asked her about 6 months ago (verbal and through text messages) to collect, them, and have been doing this regularly. The sake of the house is dye in the next 2 -3 weeks  and I'm still telling her that she needs to collect it, as I don't want to spend my last week sorting her stuff out. I've asked both her and her parents to take it, as well as suggesting that she puts it into storage, but am met with excuses. I've now threatened to throw the lot in a skip if it isn't removed in the next 7 days. 
Could any advise on where I stand? As some of her stuff may have some value, but it seems more sentimental. 

Thanks

onomatopoeia99

You appear to have become what is classed as an "involuntary bailee".  If you stick that into google it will give you a lot of information from people that know ( e.g. this is the first page returned https://www.stephens-scown.co.uk/commercial-property/whose-belongings-are-they-anyway-dealing-with-involuntary-bailment/ ).

pinkshoes

Lewisrice said:

My ex-moved out of the family home nearly 2 years ago, but hasn't collected any of her belongings. I asked her about 6 months ago (verbal and through text messages) to collect, them, and have been doing this regularly. The sake of the house is dye in the next 2 -3 weeks  and I'm still telling her that she needs to collect it, as I don't want to spend my last week sorting her stuff out. I've asked both her and her parents to take it, as well as suggesting that she puts it into storage, but am met with excuses. I've now threatened to throw the lot in a skip if it isn't removed in the next 7 days. 
Could any advise on where I stand? As some of her stuff may have some value, but it seems more sentimental. 

Thanks

What sort of stuff are we talking about?

Anything small just gather it up and put it in a box with her name on. It won't kill you having to pack one extra box.

Anything big, just give her a deadline date to collect it by, then if she doesn't collect it, either sell it and put the money aside for her when she asks for it, or freecycle it if it has no value.

Sorted.

silvercar

Does she part own the house? Or have any other claim to it? It may be she thinks she has the right for some of her possessions to occupy the house.

silvercar

Alternatively could you box up her stuff and deliver to her or her parents?

RhondaD

Agree, just box or bag it up and drop it at her or her parents. Hire a van if necessary and let them deal with it. Preferably do it when they are out so they can't obstruct you.  It seems this could have been done months ago rather than just listening to the excuses. 

Brie

I'd be leaving this all on their drive - give them a bit of warning and mention you won't be liable for any weather damage given the length of time she's had to sort it.  After you off load everything take pictures of it sitting wherever just in case someone comes back with "you didn't leave me my barcalounger!"  or whatever

TBagpuss

Is there a  financial order as part of the divorce ? it';s quite common for orders to have provisions about home contents etc - either saying that you get what is in your respective possession (in which case the stuff probably now belongs to you) or setting out what she is entitled to and what happens if she fails to rewove it (again, the standard would be that you get to dispose of it if she fails to collect)

If you don't yet have an order then maybe a formal letter reminding her of the house sale and warning that she needs to collect anything she wants by [date] as you will be clearing the hosue in order to give vacant posession so anything that you don't want to keep will be assumed to be abandoned and will be disposed of before completion.

As others have said, the other option is to bos it up (black bin bags inside boxes if possible) and deliver to her. 

GiantTCR

Sell everything you can and give the rest to charity/throw it away.

Pocket the money from the sale and if she ever asks what happened to her stuff, tell her you gave it all to charity and there is no money.

mikejassss

You can communicate with her, choose to mail it directly to her, and let him pay the freight and packaging fee.

Scorpio33

It sounds like you have made a good faith effort to communicate with your ex and her parents about the belongings left at the family home. You have given them ample time to collect the items and have offered solutions such as storage.

It's important to understand that you have no legal obligation to keep or store your ex's belongings. However, it would be advisable to check with a lawyer regarding any potential legal issues that might arise from disposing of her belongings. They can advise you on the best course of action based on the specific laws.

You could also consider reaching out to a neutral third party, such as a mediator, to help facilitate a conversation and agreement regarding the belongings.

It's worth noting that it is also important to approach this situation with empathy and understanding towards your ex, as some of the belongings may have sentimental value for her.

Lastly, it's advisable to document all the communication you've had with your ex and her parents, and keep copies of any text messages or emails, in case there are any disputes or legal issues that may arise in the future.