Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…

KajiKita

I totally agree with needing a balance and that once you have got to a minimum security level, you can ease off on filling the EF 😊

I look the look of the plans ahead … 😊

KK

SecondStar

KajiKita said:

I totally agree with needing a balance and that once you have got to a minimum security level, you can ease off on filling the EF 😊

I look the look of the plans ahead … 😊

KK

‘Balance’ is right!

I’ve been really intrigued by this personal finance journey. It’s forced me to start thinking critically and to question and explore what is actually important to me, what actually matters, and where I actually find enjoyment and value.

I’m never going to be a person who finds value in designer clothes, posh watches, or fancy cars. I don’t want to go on long, all-inclusive, far-flung holidays. I’m not interested in 5* restaurants, or open tabs at fashionable bars, or even buying drinks at coffee shops. That’s not where I find value, and so that’s not where I like to spend my money.

I find value in DIY materials, so that I can make my home a reflection of myself; in good quality craft materials and tools, so that I can expand my skills and indulge my hobbies; in plane tickets and petrol to visit my friends and spend time with people I love.

I would far rather go digging about in charity shops and car boot sales and vintage markets for a day, and maybe spend £10 on 1 thing, rather than go into a shopping centre for an afternoon and spend £100 on 2 things.

There is a joy in finding things which you enjoy, and which cost less money - not in a ‘let’s reuse teabags, and bin-dive for food’ type of way, but more of a ‘you don’t have to spend £50 to have fun’ type of way.

It’s nice to walk in the forest for free, and it’s nice to walk around the stately home gardens for £30. It’s nice to make hot chocolate at home and walk down to the shore with thermal cups, and it’s nice to walk down to the shore and buy a drink to sit in the little cafe facing the sea. I’m looking forward to being able to do all of them, in moderation!

SecondStar

So the job I got accepted for keeps hitting walls with my references. I’d submitted 2 - my current manager, and my uni tutor for my academic reference. I got an email a couple of weeks later saying that neither had replied - my manager had submitted hers, but resent it anyway; and the employer stated that my tutor had replied but in a format which couldn’t be opened and so they’d requested it again.

To be in the safe side, I also put forward one of our community leaders in my reenactment group as a back up reference - that was last week.

My group leader had a family emergency at the weekend, and today I heard that neither she nor my tutor have submitted/resubmitted any reference, and so now I’m back to the drawing board.

My previous 2 employers I left 2.5 and 5 years ago, respectively, and I’ve no idea if the contact info I have for each HR person is still correct. I don’t want to mess this new employer around much more, it’s already been 3 weeks since the formal offer was made.

I might put forward both of those previous employments and just hope for the best? I don’t really want to disturb or pressure my group leader at the moment, she has better things to be concerned with right now, and also doesn’t have reliable internet access at the moment anyway.



I got the porch filled, caulked, and all the woodwork primed yesterday.

I went to try and start cutting the moulding with my mitre shears, but the wood is just a bit too thick for me to easily manage. Instead, I’ll measure and mark all my cuts and then take the lengths to my partner’s on Sunday and use his electric mitre saw. There’s no rush, after all.



I got in another 1 hour walk today after work! Down to the shore again, and then around the other side of town - it’s incredibly fancy, and I wandered around gawking a little.

For a short moment I felt a little despondent and envious, staring up at these huge, impressive houses, with their sweeping driveways and period features, but then I remembered - my own home was a 15 minute walk away, and both myself and these people in their big, posh houses, all share the same town. We both get to share the same shore view of endless ocean, the same shriek of gulls overhead, the same sharp, salty air which whips your hair and stings your face and makes you feel alive.

All the bits which matter most, belong to all of us. And by the time I was trudging away from the sea, back up the hill, to my home, I felt just as rich and privileged as any person in any of those fancy houses. I am grateful, and thankful, and lucky, to have all that I have; and I count my blessings every day.

As an aside though, if I’m going to walk after work but before dinner, I should make sure to bring a snack! Getting lightheaded on the way back home wasn’t much fun. I’ll be checking the charity shops for good insulated mugs too, to bring a hot drink along.



I’ve narrowed my walking boot search down to 3 possibles - ranging from £125 to £160.

They’re all from quality, barefoot brands, which accounts for the pricing; but I want something which will last me several years, and which I can also wear casually rather than just for walking. They might some out of my back pay in November, as a useful treat.

SecondStar

I decided to get in touch with my last 2 employers first, to ask if I could submit them as references before just sending them across, using the details I had - personal work emails for the HR head and the area manager, respectively.

I didn’t get bounce back emails, so the addresses are still both active…but I also didn’t get any replies. Not ideal.

I’ll give it till midday on Monday, and after that a colleague of mine has offered to write a reference, if they’ll accept that. I’m absolutely mortified to be honest, I’ve been working for 13 years and I’ve never once had an issue with getting references. I feel like I’m giving such a terrible impression already, and I’m worried that the offer will be withdrawn.

I don’t *need* the job, in that my bills and expenses are covered by my main employment, but this is somewhere I’ve wanted to work for years now. It would be such a great opportunity, and it’s for an organisation I’m really passionate and excited about. I want them to think well of me, and I’d be heartbroken if this out pay to any chance I’d have of working with them.

I’m trying not to stress and dwell on it, there’s nothing that can be done over the weekend. I can start moving forwards with it again on Monday.



My partner is working today, and the weather is a bit grotty.

I’ve decided to stay in and keep working on the porch. I figured I can get the wall colours on at least, and possibly start the hand painted details, and then affix the moulding afterwards once it’s been mitred.

I mocked it up in procreate last night, and I think it’s going to look nice! Is there a way to put up photos on here, do we know? It would be nice to show you all what I’ve been working so hard on!

Sarahwithlove

I hope you get your second reference sorted quickly 

KajiKita

I don’t think there is anything to be ashamed of here - a lot of your ‘difficulty’ sorting out references sounds like poor timing and circumstances - not much you can do about that. Good luck with getting the second referee sorted. 

As for adding pictures here - get the image you want to share onto the device you want to upload from and then use the little picture icon at the centre of the tool bar at the top of the editable post page 😊 Hope you can get it to work, as the porch project sounds delightful 🤩

KK

Purplelady65

Re the references your new employer may only accept work based references. Many employers do not accept character based references. Also some employers will only accept references that cover the previous 3 years of employment. I wouldn’t worry too much about the delay in the references being returned as that is a common delay in the recruitment process. As your current manager has already sent the reference in then I’d suggest chasing up your academic reference on Monday directly with the referee rather than trying to get a character based reference from elsewhere. 

KajiKita

Morning 🌞
Did you manage to resolve the second reference request? 

Hope you are doing okay? 

KK

SecondStar

KajiKita said:

Morning 🌞
Did you manage to resolve the second reference request? 

Hope you are doing okay? 

KK

Hi KK! Thanks for checking in

Yes I got my second reference sorted - my wonderful group leader came through for me, and I have my induction day next Friday! I had to take an AL day from my full time job for it, and we have an AL freeze between 4th November and January due to mandatory training for a new role, and so I’m really hoping that the dates for my secondary role will be able to fit in around that.

Apparently I will be ‘advised about uniform’ at the induction - I’m hoping it’s the period costuming I’ve been imagining, and not just a branded tshirt! I also hope that it’ll be for the right type of role, and not for serving coffee and tray-bakes. It is a casual, seasonal role, but if I end up doing hospitality or retail there, I won’t stay. I’m still looking forward to starting though, and hoping for the best.

The porch isn’t done yet - I had an infection which I’m taking ABs for now, and have just been generally feeling run down. Needing to sleep 10+ hours, and being sorry for myself. I’ll post pics when it’s done



I start a Pilates class this evening, I can’t remember if I said? It’s part of my trying not to be so sedentary, and performing better in a group environment. I’ve never done Pilates before, but it comes highly recommended by friends. I’m hoping it’s a good workout, and good fun too. It’s £50 for 6 weekly sessions, which is great value - for comparison, my pole dance classes went up to £96 for 8 weeks, which was out of budget and also becoming too high impact as I kept injuring my back and shoulders.

I hope that regular Pilates will improve my strength, flexibility, and posture, whilst being low impact. 

SecondStar

I’ve not been more pleased to see a weekend for a long time! This week at work has been very stressful.

Lots of change ahead of more change, lots of unfairness, and more inconsistencies than you could shake a stick at - a recipe for disaster for me and my autism, on top of being generally shi**y for everyone.

I ended up having a meltdown on Wednesday morning, which compounded by the infection, and generally feeling run-down, has left me pretty exhausted this week. I had planned to spend tomorrow with my reenactment friends, but I just can’t face socialising if I’m honest - I need time to unmask and unwind.

We leave our current role and start training for a new role at the start on November, and everyone is counting the days.



I don’t think I have any suitable clothes to wear for my induction day on Friday. My current job is casual dress, and so I only have jeans and T-shirts, or more casual dresses. I might have a pair of black trousers from a previous job, but I’m not sure if they’d still fit, and I’d only have my brown boots to wear with them.

I think I’ll spend tomorrow having a look in the charity shops to see if I can find a semi-formal dress, or a shirt/trousers. I did ask what I should wear on the day, but only got told about uniform! I wore a long sleeved, ankle length, black dress with a small white flower print on it for my interview, which was perhaps a bit causal, but might do in a pinch?



My partner is coming over tomorrow evening to spend Sunday together, we’ll get a walk in if the weather is nice, and to the cinema to see The Wild Robot.