When you need somewhere to live - rent/buy?

Ditzy_Mitzy

SecondStar said:

Skiddaw1 said:

SecondStar said:

Skiddaw1 said:

SecondStar said:

Helenochka said:

OK. I'm starting to see where you're coming from. Rents are indeed expensive in NI, relative to house prices. Which of course is why I bought a rental there in the first place.
Please, please, though, do not buy something on a "paramilitary estate".  You will not enjoy living there. Rather than that, go for something a bit rough and unloved in a good town and - if necessary - teach yourself DIY. Something like this
14 Railway Terrace, Ballygowan - PropertyPal

That property is in one of my open tabs at the moment - I’ve lived in Ballygowan before, and it’s a nice enough village, albeit a bit further out from my ideal locations.

For something needing some DIY, I quite like this - https://www.propertypal.com/16-rowan-glen-bangor/792640
It has clearly had Something happen, although I’ve not been able to find out what. The off-street parking and secure outdoor space are very appealing.

I like this too - https://www.propertypal.com/8b-canberra-gardens-newtownards/776265
It’s only just inside the estate, and the private garden and ample communal parking are attractive.

This is nice, although I don’t know if it’s too small for the price, and again it’s just inside an estate. My pets would appreciate the outdoor space, though - https://www.propertypal.com/20-ashfield-drive-donaghadee/793172

Or this - https://www.propertypal.com/35-robert-street-newtownards/764728
I’ve lived in a street nearby, and I like the area, although I know that this particular street is a nightmare to get parked on.

They all have things to recommend them but I particularly like the Donaghdee house. It may be a but small but it's really pretty and has the advantage of the nice garden (and being so close to the sea of course ). The Robert Street house in N'ards is sweet too.

Good luck OP. I hope that you and your dear animal family will soon be moving forward into better and happier times.

Thank you, truly.

I’d be more excited about the Donaghadee property, except that my previous ex’s mother used to live in the row of houses just behind it, and his grandma used to live down the street. I broke up with him at the end of 2017, and he took it veeeery badly, and I had to block him everywhere.

I know he dates someone else now, but don’t know where he lives, or if his mum & grandma still live in the area. He used to visit them at least weekly when we were together.

Not sure if there’s a way of finding out, if anyone knows?

Hmmmm.... last thing you want is another saga isn't it? Any mutual acquaintances you could approach? Otherwise it might be best to err on the side of caution I suppose... as I say, the Newtonards house is a dear wee house too and the Bangor house, whilst needing some work, is also a bit of a potential stunner I'd say (and Bangor is lovely).

No mutual contacts - I’d say ‘unfortunately’, in terms of scoping out if his mum/grandma still live there, but it’s definitely not unfortunate in the grand scheme of things!

The Robert Street, Newtownards house is lovely, but that street is impossible to get parked on - I don’t know how they managed that photo with the space in front of the house empty!

The Bangor house that needs some work is a strong contender, but the Newtownards flat on Canberra Gardens has an extra bedroom, doesn’t need the work, and still has a garden; for only 5k more, albeit just inside an estate.

I’ll hopefully have more clarity after Friday about what we both want to do, and then sit down and list my priorities for housing.

Right.  

Bangor: discount immediately, has got 'serious structural defects' written all over it.  The front wall is obviously wet and there's signs all over the shop of complete failure of the damp proof course.  

Canberra Gardens, Newtownards: nice inside, which indicates the previous owner cared about it.  Good sign for the area and has parking.  No gas, which is a problem on a budget.  Gas bills are high, but electric heating is extortionate.  

Donaghadee: probably the best of the bunch.  Bijou, but does that really matter?  Attractive looking house with proper heating and decent layout.  There even appears to be room to build a drive, assuming possible vehicular access.  Note the bus shelter next door; is there any chance of anti-social behaviour?  

Robert Street, Newtownards: nice house, but doesn't seem to appeal to you so probably best to discount.

SecondStar

Ditzy_Mitzy said:

SecondStar said:

Skiddaw1 said:

SecondStar said:

Skiddaw1 said:

SecondStar said:

Helenochka said:

OK. I'm starting to see where you're coming from. Rents are indeed expensive in NI, relative to house prices. Which of course is why I bought a rental there in the first place.
Please, please, though, do not buy something on a "paramilitary estate".  You will not enjoy living there. Rather than that, go for something a bit rough and unloved in a good town and - if necessary - teach yourself DIY. Something like this
14 Railway Terrace, Ballygowan - PropertyPal

That property is in one of my open tabs at the moment - I’ve lived in Ballygowan before, and it’s a nice enough village, albeit a bit further out from my ideal locations.

For something needing some DIY, I quite like this - https://www.propertypal.com/16-rowan-glen-bangor/792640
It has clearly had Something happen, although I’ve not been able to find out what. The off-street parking and secure outdoor space are very appealing.

I like this too - https://www.propertypal.com/8b-canberra-gardens-newtownards/776265
It’s only just inside the estate, and the private garden and ample communal parking are attractive.

This is nice, although I don’t know if it’s too small for the price, and again it’s just inside an estate. My pets would appreciate the outdoor space, though - https://www.propertypal.com/20-ashfield-drive-donaghadee/793172

Or this - https://www.propertypal.com/35-robert-street-newtownards/764728
I’ve lived in a street nearby, and I like the area, although I know that this particular street is a nightmare to get parked on.

They all have things to recommend them but I particularly like the Donaghdee house. It may be a but small but it's really pretty and has the advantage of the nice garden (and being so close to the sea of course ). The Robert Street house in N'ards is sweet too.

Good luck OP. I hope that you and your dear animal family will soon be moving forward into better and happier times.

Thank you, truly.

I’d be more excited about the Donaghadee property, except that my previous ex’s mother used to live in the row of houses just behind it, and his grandma used to live down the street. I broke up with him at the end of 2017, and he took it veeeery badly, and I had to block him everywhere.

I know he dates someone else now, but don’t know where he lives, or if his mum & grandma still live in the area. He used to visit them at least weekly when we were together.

Not sure if there’s a way of finding out, if anyone knows?

Hmmmm.... last thing you want is another saga isn't it? Any mutual acquaintances you could approach? Otherwise it might be best to err on the side of caution I suppose... as I say, the Newtonards house is a dear wee house too and the Bangor house, whilst needing some work, is also a bit of a potential stunner I'd say (and Bangor is lovely).

No mutual contacts - I’d say ‘unfortunately’, in terms of scoping out if his mum/grandma still live there, but it’s definitely not unfortunate in the grand scheme of things!

The Robert Street, Newtownards house is lovely, but that street is impossible to get parked on - I don’t know how they managed that photo with the space in front of the house empty!

The Bangor house that needs some work is a strong contender, but the Newtownards flat on Canberra Gardens has an extra bedroom, doesn’t need the work, and still has a garden; for only 5k more, albeit just inside an estate.

I’ll hopefully have more clarity after Friday about what we both want to do, and then sit down and list my priorities for housing.

Right.  

Bangor: discount immediately, has got 'serious structural defects' written all over it.  The front wall is obviously wet and there's signs all over the shop of complete failure of the damp proof course.  

Canberra Gardens, Newtownards: nice inside, which indicates the previous owner cared about it.  Good sign for the area and has parking.  No gas, which is a problem on a budget.  Gas bills are high, but electric heating is extortionate.  

Donaghadee: probably the best of the bunch.  Bijou, but does that really matter?  Attractive looking house with proper heating and decent layout.  There even appears to be room to build a drive, assuming possible vehicular access.  Note the bus shelter next door; is there any chance of anti-social behaviour?  

Robert Street, Newtownards: nice house, but doesn't seem to appeal to you so probably best to discount.

I appreciate the feedback, thank you!

The Bangor house does look distinctly unloved. The broken front window and white paint across the front bricks suggest to me that Someone had a type of problem with the previous occupant. In Northern Ireland, that’s probably organised crime. This little street is close to those types of estates, but not actually part of one.

From the bad photos, it seems like the wet front wall and step could be caused by the bad guttering on the front, and the grubby half-painted neutral decor, along with the terrible lighting does look like damp all over the place. Admittedly, the 2nd pic which is of the mezzanine bedroom upstairs DOES look incredibly damp on the back wall to the right, on the wall and on the flooring.

I think it would be worth seeing in person to determine if it is water damage, but if it seems like it is then it wouldn’t be worth surveying.

The electric heating in Canberra Gardens is it’s biggest flaw for me, for all the reasons you’ve listed. I’ve never had electric heating before, and so don’t know how the cost lines up to gas or oil right now.

I do really like the Donaghadee property. I believe the price could come down too - those 1 bed bungalows would’ve gone for around 60k pre-covid. This one in particular was listed under a different agent for about 6 months, at a whopping 110k to start. It dropped to 100k, and then to 95k under the same agent, and then the vender switched agents and dropped again to 80k. I’d imagine there might be negotiating room to take it down to 75k, or lower, even with it being a large corner site. Or maybe it’s had offers, and it’s been surveyed by other people and it’s actually falling apart!

I wish I could warm my heart to the Robert Street property. It’s beautifully presented, 2 beds, outdoor space, handy to the town, a street away from where I’ve lived before…it’s just such a tight, busy street. Maybe it’s too picky of me in my current situation, but I don’t think I’d want to buy somewhere that I couldn’t park near. And that street is always packed with cars - there’s only parking in 1 side, and there’s lots of double yellows, and not enough spaces for the amount of housing there.



I have 16 other tabs open with properties from 67k - 90k, but they’re either 1st floor flats with or without access to outdoor spaces, or they’re 2/3 bed houses which are in the depths of rough estates.

1st floor flat with no lift wouldn’t be ideal for an 11.5 year old dog with arthritis and dodgy legs to navigate several times a day.

RAS

You are a planner, obviously, and have moved on mentally from the relationship.

You don't yet know where your ex is, although you probably have an idea if he is also a planner?

If he's still emotionally invested in your shared house, there's a risk he'll kick back if you start with "sell or buy me out".

Start by asking him what he wants to do? If he says "buy you out", suggest he goes and explores the funding and you meet again in a month?

If he wants to sell, ask if you can go in some and help declutter etc, with him there or not. And try to agree a timetable to get the house ready by spring?

SecondStar

RAS said:

You are a planner, obviously, and have moved on mentally from the relationship.

You don't yet know where your ex is, although you probably have an idea if he is also a planner?

If he's still emotionally invested in your shared house, there's a risk he'll kick back if you start with "sell or buy me out".

Start by asking him what he wants to do? If he says "buy you out", suggest he goes and explores the funding and you meet again in a month?

If he wants to sell, ask if you can go in some and help declutter etc, with him there or not. And try to agree a timetable to get the house ready by spring?

That you were so easily able to deduce my strong planning tendencies from this thread made me laugh, thank you.

My ex is not a planner by nature. Through our relationship he happily took a backseat in everything, and let me be the one to make the phone calls, arrange appointments, chase people up, make plans, and then plan how these things would be paid for.

I have been making plans for our potential separation for a year, hoping that I would never need them. I’m still incredibly sad that it’s come to this, but I’ve also had the time to consider many different options and paths.

Your suggestions about how to approach him on Friday are very good, thank you.

This is something we’ll have to work through together, whilst still keeping in mind that he is not on my team anymore. I have to find a way to work with him, while still prioritising myself and my needs.

RAS

Absolutely, you need to be aware that some people avoid properties being sold by couples who are splitting because of the potential issues with disagreements.

On the other hand after a very messy split, it was clearing the house that forced my ex and I to work together to a common end. We'd liked one another enough to share our lives for years and in the end we still like each other even if we no longer wanted to live together.

SecondStar

RAS said:

Absolutely, you need to be aware that some people avoid properties being sold by couples who are splitting because of the potential issues with disagreements.

On the other hand after a very messy split, it was clearing the house that forced my ex and I to work together to a common end. We'd liked one another enough to share our lives for years and in the end we still like each other even if we no longer wanted to live together.

Yeah, I’m acutely aware that many people would be put off from a house being sold through separation or divorce.

I don’t know what his plans for his housing are - hoping to get an insight on Friday, even if he doesn’t have a committed plan yet.

For me, it would be easier if he moved out to his parent’s house, continued to pay 50% of the mortgage & rates in order to continue to keep the financial contribution even; and then I would be able to stay in the house with my pets, whilst also managing the logistics of the sale.

Because when it comes down to it, I’ll likely be the one doing the logistics anyway - it would be easier to do that from the house, plus my pets are there, and I don’t want to be a housemate with him.

I’m glad to hear that you and your ex were able to work together for each of your own benefit. I’m really hoping that we can be courteous, civil, and respectful, even if we’re not together anymore.

Lerennie

I have read through the posts and I am so sorry for this difficult time you are going through.

I am in agreement with others that you take your time before making any major decisions about buying, you need time to heal and find where your life takes you.  I have a worry that you buy too soon and then find you are given a new opportunity to go to England or Scotland with your job which could be a new fresh start for you.  You don't want to then be forced to sell at a time when prices may be falling and not get back what you put in.

I don't want to sound negative only realistic in this current economic climate.  You do have a brand new year ahead and should jump into any new exciting opportunities that come your way.  

SecondStar

Lerennie said:

I have read through the posts and I am so sorry for this difficult time you are going through.

I am in agreement with others that you take your time before making any major decisions about buying, you need time to heal and find where your life takes you.  I have a worry that you buy too soon and then find you are given a new opportunity to go to England or Scotland with your job which could be a new fresh start for you.  You don't want to then be forced to sell at a time when prices may be falling and not get back what you put in.

I don't want to sound negative only realistic in this current economic climate.  You do have a brand new year ahead and should jump into any new exciting opportunities that come your way.  

Thank you for the kind words, and thank you for the input, truly. It is good to get outside perspectives, it can be easy to be ‘too close’ to a situation.

The emotional bits will need to be worked out within myself, and with my therapist - it’s maybe a bit too mushy for the MoneySavingExpert forum!

In brief, what I’m searching for emotionally is a sense of comfort, security, and safety - for me, this has been historically linked to never feeling like I’ve had a ‘home’, in my childhood or adulthood. 

Right now, the most secure things I have are my pets, and my familiarity with my current location.

I’m not sure if I’m emotionally ready for any more ‘fresh starts’, at least not for a long time. What I’m really craving is stillness, security, and to physically and emotionally be in a place where I can breathe out. I want somewhere that I can physically exist in a state of peace and of quiet, for several years. Where I can lock the door behind me and know that I am physically, emotionally, and financially safe.

I don’t want any more upheaval for at least 3 years. If opportunities come to me, I might not turn them down. But I won’t be actively hunting them.

tudorfan39

Just wanted to pop in a drop my two penny worth!  I was in exactly the same situation a few years back. A few things I learned out the other side:
1. Try to bargain with ex to stay where you are, mine took less than what he was due just to avoid the hassle of selling and to see the back of me! I had a lovely female mortgage advisor who went above and beyond to get me a deal that I could afford.
2. If that failed then buy don't rent, your sense of self worth will sustain you when youre eating cold beans out of a can! But buy in a nice area, the place itself you will take great pleasure in doing up. It will be healing.
3. Keep your pets, they're you're family. I always felt like Homer Simpson in the episode about Maggie where he writes 'do it for her' at his job at the power plant. Do it for them if you cant do it for yourself.

Best of luck, this will be the making of you. You will survive and thrive.