Serious new job anxiety

MrBrindle

Hi all, I'm starting my new job tomorrow - a Senior Designer position within the public sector. I will also be line-managing an assistant graphic designer, and this sort of role is a first for me.

I've been a nervous wreck all day today. I've been with an University as a middleweight graphic designer for the last 22 months, however I was on like a 'rolling' contract. My contract just kept getting extended every 3 or 6 months, and it was 'coming to an end' in January - although my line-manager was sure they would extend it again. Contract anxiety aside, I really loved the job. The people were great, the work was easy going but interesting, my line-manager was fantastic, and I got to work from home 4 days a week as the Uni is an hour and a half drive away from my home. This was convenient as it let me help with the schools runs, walk the dogs during lunchbreaks, good work-life balance etc. 

I started applying for new jobs a few months ago as 3 people left the dept, and the positions have been left unfilled, so I started to get worried about my job. I applied for 3/4 jobs, and was fortunate to land this Senior Designer role, which is around 5k more per year in salary and the office is 1 mile from my home. When I told the University, the dept director said he 'could offer me a permanent contract', but I need to decide first if I want to stay. Needless to say that left me in a difficult situation. Turn down this new opportunity to risk being given a permanent contract or not. After a week of deliberating, I decided to go for the new job because these opportunities scarcely come up around where I live (rural West Wales), and it's the sort of role I've been hoping to get since my late 20's. The Uni were not really making much of an effort to try and keep me, despite me seriously considering staying put.

Years ago I would have gone for this job without batting an eyelid, however my mental health hasn't been fantastic over the last few years. I lost my dad and uncle within a month last year, my daughter became gravely ill with hepatitis back in March (she's better now) and my other uncle died last month. It's all affected me badly and I'm a bag of nerves at times worrying whats next around the corner. (I have sought grief counselling and hypnotherapy to help with these feelings btw)

I'm worried about a number of things, can I handle the stress of a higher grade job, can I manage a member of staff, how am I going to cope working in an office (this job is 3 days in, 2 days at home)? I'm full of regret right now, and cannot see the positives in this new job at all.  I even told my old line-manager maybe hold off advertising my role incase I don't enjoy this new job! I hate feeling like this, I'm a 36 year old man and I feel like I'm being completely pathetic. I was made redundant during covid lockdown, and unemployed for a few months, so I appreciate I'm in an incredibly fortunate position to be given this opportunity. I just cannot shake this stress. 

Any advice?

elsien

I’m guessing you’ve coped working in an office before, pre-covid, so why should now be any different? 

You’re close to home so can nip back at lunchtime if you need to. If not, and theres no other family member available then get a dog walker in for those days.
They’ve clearly seen something in you that they like and they want - that’s a positive!
You’ve collaborated with other team members before. Line management isn’t necessarily hugely different to that, just with more direction and delegation.
It’s normal to feel anxious, particularly when you’ve had difficulties in your personal life. But when you applied for the job you believed you could do it. And nothing has changed since then to make you think otherwise. Have faith. 

Does it help to have everything organised, clothes assorted, lunch made, all the practicalities out of the way? 

diystarter7

Hi OP

You are not alone

I felt like that every Monday.

They choose you for a reason and not only your were the best at the time, but you were also good enough for them to take you on.

Start early, get there early, and trust me the day will fly by

I always prepared my clothing for the night before, alarm 30 mins before I get out of bed, shower etc and take it in your stride.
Just in case you do get out by unepcted delays evenn after starting out early, call them and explain but I am sure it won't come to that

See how it goes and you will be pleasantly surprised.

If it turns out you are not likeing it, plan a route out but I'm sure it wont come to that

Out of our family, ie me my wife and kids, I'm the only one that never manged people as i did not want to as I felt i could not tick people off etc, we are all different.

Good luck

Thanks

littlegreenparrot

I suffer from anxiety and sometimes have to give myself a good talking to. 

In your situation it would be - sort out all practicalities. Lunch to take, clothes sorted, route decided, parking sussed out etc if applicable. 
They clearly see something in you and believe you can do it. 
Tomorrow will be easy, introductions, how to log in to IT, policies etc. 
There is a solution to every problem, there probably won't be a problem but if there is I can figure it out. I always have before. 
I have done difficult things before. 
Worst case scenario (sometimes this helps me - what's the worst that can happen?) What if I hate it? So what if I do? Nothing is forever, parts of jobs can sometimes be negotiated. I can look for other jobs, I have done that before. 

My brain is sometimes an idiot, it lies to me. I have to try and rationalise my way out of it. And sometimes it doesn't work and I have to take deep breath and act the part. Fake it 'til you make it. 

Interestingly body language works backwards as well, if you deliberately make yourself look like a confident person, shoulders back, head up, making eye contact, eventually the brain assumes you feel it and catches up. 

I know all of this is easier said than done, try not to wind yourself up. Good luck!

Marcon

...and remember there is only ever one first day in a new job.

Posting here probably isn't helping since you're rehearsing and 'practising' your anxieties by writing them down, thus feeding your own anxiety further. 

littlegreenparrot said:

Worst case scenario (sometimes this helps me - what's the worst that can happen?) What if I hate it? So what if I do? Nothing is forever, parts of jobs can sometimes be negotiated. I can look for other jobs, I have done that before. 

My brain is sometimes an idiot, it lies to me. I have to try and rationalise my way out of it. And sometimes it doesn't work and I have to take deep breath and act the part. Fake it 'til you make it. 

Interestingly body language works backwards as well, if you deliberately make yourself look like a confident person, shoulders back, head up, making eye contact, eventually the brain assumes you feel it and catches up. 

All the above (and tomorrow is going to go much better than you are currently kidding yourself it could ever go....).

MalMonroe

Hello!

You sound lovely. And I'm so sorry that so many awful things happened in such a short time, obviously making a big impact upon you.

But from what you say it doesn't sound as if you should worry about your capabilities or anything to do with work, really. 

It's just that starting a new job is very scary. Until you get to know the way things run and how you feel about the job and the people. You decided to take the plunge but it's understandable that now you're regretting it and want to feel the safety of what you know. However, if you do stay at the Uni, will you start to feel a bit restless again? 

Give it a try. See how it feels. It seems that you are a very capable person who can actually do this. And please do realise that how you are feeling is perfectly normal - fear of the unknown. You can do this. 

I don't think you sound pathetic at all, you were made redundant in lockdown and what did you do? You went out there and found another job, where they think very highly of you and then - blow me down, you applied for and got yet another job! Seems like you're on fire. . . you can do this. I have every faith! (And I know you don't know me from Adam but just reading your OP has given me that opinion.)

All the very best to you. Good luck!   

diystarter7

Hi
I'm assuming you are off to bed/etc
If you wish, let us know how you got on.
I'm sure you'll be fine

Good luck for tomorrow and goodnight 

AntoMac

I can’t add much to the good stuff that’s already been said. Congratulations on landing your new role. 

In the recent past you have coped with far worse than starting a new job. Losing your Dad and two Uncles, plus having an Ill daughter - That’s a huge test of your resilience and you’ve fought through it.
Be yourself and be honest with people. You won’t be expected to know everything from day one. Maybe the person you are due to be line managing is dreading what you might be like. You’re clearly a very decent person. Take the time to get to know them as a person. If you’re new to Line Management let them know that, but that you’re open to feedback and really want to get it right. 

Things are rarely anywhere near as bad as we think they might be.
Good luck tomorrow and please let us know how it goes. 

MrBrindle

Hi all, not in bed yet - early doors for me! Even though I should be getting an early night as I've been down with a horrible cold this week (probably doesn't help with my mood before starting a new job).

Thanks all for the kind words. I've got my clothes and stuff all sorted on the landing. I've been so used to working at home in trackie bottoms and t-shirts, going into work with a smart shirt and trousers will take getting used to.

And yes, I used to work in an office a few years ago, and when that job finished I really missed the working environment and being around people / colleagues. 

I guess my main issue is that I've worked with a few horrid bosses over the years, and the people at the Uni really are a fantastic bunch, so losing that is a big deal. Myself and my line manager have a lot in common, being the same age, with similar aged kids, we've become very good friends. 

Hopefully I'm just overthinking it like I do with a lot of things in life.

Thank you so much for all the positivity and encouragement!

Dakta

I think a lot of your nerves are valid, but at the same time probably a lot about nothing.

Well done on making the jump and being confident it was time, sometimes you just can't know and have to be decisive.

I remember not so long back having trouble at work and finding alternative and the thought of leaving and going somewhere else (IT Cybersecurity) was nothing short of terrifying

It will be fine

Ditzy_Mitzy

You aren't going to make anything better by inaction.  Have a bit of faith in yourself, grit your teeth and get on with it.  God didn't create graphic designers, students, airline pilots or hairdressers; we're all pretending, regardless of occupation.  There is no such thing as a non-impostor in the workplace because everyone has, to some extent, imaginatively created his or her role.  

They think you can do the job and they, at this stage, know more about the place than you do.  Believe them, not some needless worry.