Inheritance tax newbie questions

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Trying to get my head around how inheritance tax works.
Man gives £7000 gift to daughter in 2020 (potentially exempt transfer)
Man dies 2022. Man leaves entire estate to wife in his will.
Daughter owes estate £4000 (failed PET) after annual exemption of £3,000
£4000 would be free of inheritance tax because there is no inheritance tax to pay if you leave everything to your spouse.
Man gives £7000 gift to daughter in 2020 (potentially exempt transfer)
Man dies 2022. Man leaves entire estate to wife in his will.
Daughter owes estate £4000 (failed PET) after annual exemption of £3,000
£4000 would be free of inheritance tax because there is no inheritance tax to pay if you leave everything to your spouse.
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But even if we ignore that, daughter doesn't "owe estate £4000". The £4000 would be treated as part of the estate for inheritance tax purposes. But if everything else is subject to the spousal exemption, then the £4000 is nowhere near big enough for inheritance tax to kick in. So it's irrelevant.
Man gives £7000 gift to daughter in 2020 (potentially exempt transfer)
Man dies 2022. Man leaves entire estate to wife in his will including £400K house
£1000 failed PET after annual exemptions of 2 x £3,000
£1000 now treated as part of the estate. Is tax payable on the £1000?
ie, man transfers £1000 monthly for a year to daughter from his pension. Tax man deems it excessive and adds the £12000 to the estate.
Man dies and leaves everything to spouse including £400K house. No tax to pay on the £12000?
Elon Musk could afford to gift £10K or more monthly from surplus income, Mr Average Joe could not.
It might be easier if you explained why you're asking rather than coming up with a bunch of contradictory hypothetical examples.
Dad now only have about a week to live.
During the years, (his state pension is £1000) and he transferred around £600 (from their joint account) to my account per month to pay for utilities etc and took out £400 cash at the atm to give to mum for shopping. Sometimes, he transferred the full £1000 to my account and I withdrew £400 in cash from my account for him.
They never go out so never need much money. They only needed money for food shopping for themselves and I paid for everything else. (ie new boiler last week for £2800)
Also, mums state pension has always been combined with dads until about 18 months ago. Now she has her separate state pension going to her own account. (around £67 per week). (think she is due an increase when dad dies)
In his will he is leaving everything to mum. (no property in the UK but an ancestral house in HK worth approx £400k)
I am worried about the monthly transfers (all from income) becoming taxable
Like I said though, they'd have to be much more substantial before any tax becomes due.
If spouse gets property worth £400K and £40K goes to cousin in will.
Any tax payable on the £40K?
Does the £400K property use up the £325K allowance so £16,000 tax payable on the £40K or no tax payable?