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morrjn
morrjn Posts: 1
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edited 12 December 2022 at 10:29AM in Marriage, relationships & families
Can anyone help me please I have been married for 14 years we've been together 18 years. When we met I had my own home (council secured tenancy) when my father died 5 years ago I inherited his estate and had the money to purchase my home. Long story short our neighbours had been a nightmare for years and caused me alot of mental health struggles so instead of purchasing my council house I ended my tenancy and bought a home elsewhere as I also felt I was in a position to do so that home should be given back. My husband had never been on the tenancy so myself and my children knew we would always have a home. When my dad died my husband and I purchased a home. Five years on the marriage is in tatters I am stuck as I have a young adult son whom I care for with special needs I have many health issues myself so cannot work at present so feel trapped in this situation as if I divorce I will have to give my husband half of what my dad worked all his life for. I wouldn't  be able to afford much of a house on my own as cannot work to get a mortgage and he has also taken 15k from a bank account we had together and put it in a sole account I have no access to. This too was money from my inheritance. Is this coercive control ? I'm not sure what to so any advice greatly appreciated.

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  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,198
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    edited 13 December 2022 at 1:02PM
    You need to get some proper advice. 

    IF you divorce, he won't automatically get half of the house - the court has to try to be fair to you both, and to take in to account both of your needs, and the needs of any childnre of the family. if your son's needs are such that he can't live independently, that would be relevant. It is less likely that the fact that the house was paid for from your inheritnace would changethe split, if the house was put into joint names - did you buy outright or with a mortgage? 

    If your husband moved money into an accountin his sole name this *might* be controlling behaviour - was it all of the money that was in the account, or only a proprtion of it? Sometimes when a relationship is in difficulties people do trnasfer moeny from a joint account in an attempt to pre-empt any risk ofthe other party taking all of it 

    You will have proof that the money was transferred so it can be takne into account in any divorce settlement. .



     
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • london21
    london21 Posts: 2,089
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    morrjn said:
    Can anyone help me please I have been married for 14 years we've been together 18 years. When we met I had my own home (council secured tenancy) when my father died 5 years ago I inherited his estate and had the money to purchase my home. Long story short our neighbours had been a nightmare for years and caused me alot of mental health struggles so instead of purchasing my council house I ended my tenancy and bought a home elsewhere as I also felt I was in a position to do so that home should be given back. My husband had never been on the tenancy so myself and my children knew we would always have a home. When my dad died my husband and I purchased a home. Five years on the marriage is in tatters I am stuck as I have a young adult son whom I care for with special needs I have many health issues myself so cannot work at present so feel trapped in this situation as if I divorce I will have to give my husband half of what my dad worked all his life for. I wouldn't  be able to afford much of a house on my own as cannot work to get a mortgage and he has also taken 15k from a bank account we had together and put it in a sole account I have no access to. This too was money from my inheritance. Is this coercive control ? I'm not sure what to so any advice greatly appreciated.

    "Coercive control is a pattern of behaviours that enables someone to exert power over another person through fear and control. Coercive control can happen in any type of intimate relationship and includes behaviours such as insulting the other person, making threats, exerting financial control, and using sexual coercion."

    Are you been abused, prioritise yours's and your son's safety.

    so he has taken funds from the joint account belonging to you into his own account?

    You will need legal advice but does not automatically mean everything will be split 50:50, it is a case by case basis. 

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