Food Shopping in modern times

Longwalker

jacko220 said:

Pollycat said:

jacko220 said:

Pollycat said:

jacko220 said:

Rather a sensitive topic, would you call £700 for two people enough for only food shopping, I think I know the answer, however, I would like people's comments by the way this was in 2014. 

Just curious why you are asking this question 8 years on.

It seems clear to me that your wife was fleecing you - unless, as someone else has said, she was buying very expensive ingredients.
£700 per month food spend for 2 people 8 years ago is astronomical.

So how much are you spending on food now?

I cook mainly from scratch, we like stews and casseroles, mince meals etc so easy to bulk out with nutritious food like vegetables.

I could never get an honest answer to it eight years ago, even from our vicar, it was obviously a larger amount, she hid her debts and gambling, Accused me of DV to cover the problem, I only discovered her debts after she died 7 years ago.  

Was accused of coercive control by her if I mentioned it, we where only married for seven years, both then in late 50's

I am spending between £40-£60 per week on food depending on menu, I also cook from scratch. Monkfish and mussels last night, Carrot and sweet potato soup for lunch today, Pork meatloaf with vegetables tonight. Probably about £250 per month now on food,

Many other things have come to light since she died that made me shiver.

She promised much but delivered little, I love Cawl, she never cooked it and I was banned from the Kitchen almost. Indeed I was not allowed to use the downstairs toilet, just in case her friends called.

You do seem to have been poorly treated.
Not sure why you would ask your vicar about spend on food though (but then again, I'm not religious so don't understand how those sorts of conversations go).

If you're happy with your current diet and food spend (and it does sound like you are eating pretty well). just put it out of your mind.
It's history.

My wife was an elder at the Church, we lived like brother and sister, she gave up work as soon as we moved in together. I ask the vicar, a woman for candid advice, she suggested counselling, my wife did not want to go.

I went and described everything including that before she met me she had 17 miscarriages. I did say there is no reason why that should happen again, yet another bruise.

I have forgotten it, but it feels that everything is stacked against males. I realise that I should probably not say this but I am happy now/

Personally I would say you should be saying Im Happy Now out loud at least three times a day 

-taff

Does it really matter any more or are you constantly thinking about it because you want to remember the rubbish times? there is nothing at all you can do about it now so stewing about it just does no good whatsoever. I think you need to find someone to help you move on from all of it, otherwise the rest of your life is going to be full of recriminations that can't go anywhere.

jacko220

-taff said:

Does it really matter any more or are you constantly thinking about it because you want to remember the rubbish times? there is nothing at all you can do about it now so stewing about it just does no good whatsoever. I think you need to find someone to help you move on from all of it, otherwise the rest of your life is going to be full of recriminations that can't go anywhere.

I have totally forgotten it, it is now a matter of mirth, she complained that she was treated badly.

It came up because I wondered what people think.

She lied on more than one occasion. I would hate any person to go through what I had .

Better food these days.

strawb_shortcake

jacko220 said:

Pollycat said:

jacko220 said:

Pollycat said:

jacko220 said:

Rather a sensitive topic, would you call £700 for two people enough for only food shopping, I think I know the answer, however, I would like people's comments by the way this was in 2014. 

Just curious why you are asking this question 8 years on.

It seems clear to me that your wife was fleecing you - unless, as someone else has said, she was buying very expensive ingredients.
£700 per month food spend for 2 people 8 years ago is astronomical.

So how much are you spending on food now?

I cook mainly from scratch, we like stews and casseroles, mince meals etc so easy to bulk out with nutritious food like vegetables.

I could never get an honest answer to it eight years ago, even from our vicar, it was obviously a larger amount, she hid her debts and gambling, Accused me of DV to cover the problem, I only discovered her debts after she died 7 years ago.  

Was accused of coercive control by her if I mentioned it, we where only married for seven years, both then in late 50's

I am spending between £40-£60 per week on food depending on menu, I also cook from scratch. Monkfish and mussels last night, Carrot and sweet potato soup for lunch today, Pork meatloaf with vegetables tonight. Probably about £250 per month now on food,

Many other things have come to light since she died that made me shiver.

She promised much but delivered little, I love Cawl, she never cooked it and I was banned from the Kitchen almost. Indeed I was not allowed to use the downstairs toilet, just in case her friends called.

You do seem to have been poorly treated.
Not sure why you would ask your vicar about spend on food though (but then again, I'm not religious so don't understand how those sorts of conversations go).

If you're happy with your current diet and food spend (and it does sound like you are eating pretty well). just put it out of your mind.
It's history.

My wife was an elder at the Church, we lived like brother and sister, she gave up work as soon as we moved in together. I ask the vicar, a woman for candid advice, she suggested counselling, my wife did not want to go.

I went and described everything including that before she met me she had 17 miscarriages. I did say there is no reason why that should happen again, yet another bruise.

I have forgotten it, but it feels that everything is stacked against males. I realise that I should probably not say this but I am happy now/

Not entirely sure what the context is here, but 1 miscarriage is heartbreaking, I can't imagine what 17 would do to a person, either of the parents would understandably be changed dramatically after such heartache 

jacko220

annabanana82 said:

jacko220 said:

Pollycat said:

jacko220 said:

Pollycat said:

jacko220 said:

Rather a sensitive topic, would you call £700 for two people enough for only food shopping, I think I know the answer, however, I would like people's comments by the way this was in 2014. 

Just curious why you are asking this question 8 years on.

It seems clear to me that your wife was fleecing you - unless, as someone else has said, she was buying very expensive ingredients.
£700 per month food spend for 2 people 8 years ago is astronomical.

So how much are you spending on food now?

I cook mainly from scratch, we like stews and casseroles, mince meals etc so easy to bulk out with nutritious food like vegetables.

I could never get an honest answer to it eight years ago, even from our vicar, it was obviously a larger amount, she hid her debts and gambling, Accused me of DV to cover the problem, I only discovered her debts after she died 7 years ago.  

Was accused of coercive control by her if I mentioned it, we where only married for seven years, both then in late 50's

I am spending between £40-£60 per week on food depending on menu, I also cook from scratch. Monkfish and mussels last night, Carrot and sweet potato soup for lunch today, Pork meatloaf with vegetables tonight. Probably about £250 per month now on food,

Many other things have come to light since she died that made me shiver.

She promised much but delivered little, I love Cawl, she never cooked it and I was banned from the Kitchen almost. Indeed I was not allowed to use the downstairs toilet, just in case her friends called.

You do seem to have been poorly treated.
Not sure why you would ask your vicar about spend on food though (but then again, I'm not religious so don't understand how those sorts of conversations go).

If you're happy with your current diet and food spend (and it does sound like you are eating pretty well). just put it out of your mind.
It's history.

My wife was an elder at the Church, we lived like brother and sister, she gave up work as soon as we moved in together. I ask the vicar, a woman for candid advice, she suggested counselling, my wife did not want to go.

I went and described everything including that before she met me she had 17 miscarriages. I did say there is no reason why that should happen again, yet another bruise.

I have forgotten it, but it feels that everything is stacked against males. I realise that I should probably not say this but I am happy now/

Not entirely sure what the context is here, but 1 miscarriage is heartbreaking, I can't imagine what 17 would do to a person, either of the parents would understandably be changed dramatically after such heartache 

She was a Walter Mitty figue, she did not have 17 miscarriages she wanted sympathy, I gave here sympathy but it was simply not enough. She said can I have £5.000 just in case you die, I gave her £5,000, I found out after she died that she invested it in European Fine Wines after paying off debts. European Fine Wines went bankrupt the day that I went into A&E with a heart problem. She had to ask for my Debit Card when I was in A&E because she had no money. She was meant to be Mayor of Rhyl, twenty years before I met her, she was not because Rhyl BC e-mailed me so. 

elsien

For someone who says you’ve completely forgotten it, it does seem to be still on your mind for you to raise it again here and then keep posting more about her. 

What were you hoping it might achieve? 

jacko220

elsien said:

For someone who says you’ve completely forgotten it, it does seem to be still on your mind for you to raise it again here and then keep posting more about her. 

What were you hoping it might achieve? 

Yes OK but I have only joined this site in the last week, nobody has ever agreed with me that £700 is a lot of money to spend on food per week, now they have. This is the first time that anybody has ever said it was expensive.

TheAble

Try to forget about it I'd say. Sounds like a rough time you had but it's in the past now.

Wraithlady

From reading through this, jacko220, it seems that what would do you a power of good (IMHO) is, if not therapy. at least getting someone qualified in such things to talk through this with you.

You were gaslighted, emotionally blackmailed, psychologically bullied and threatened by someone for many years - that is bound to have an effect on the strongest of people. If you could just 'forget about it' I'm sure you would have done so. 

I agree, you do need to move on, but it may be that you need some help with this and if you feel that this is the case, I urge you to do so. It isn't weakness, or an inability to cope, it's just that some things you can't do for yourself.

Obviously, feel free to disregard my post if you feel I'm wrong - I can only go off what you've posted, I don't know you.

But I hope you'll consider it.

jacko220

Wraithlady said:

From reading through this, jacko220, it seems that what would do you a power of good (IMHO) is, if not therapy. at least getting someone qualified in such things to talk through this with you.

You were gaslighted, emotionally blackmailed, psychologically bullied and threatened by someone for many years - that is bound to have an effect on the strongest of people. If you could just 'forget about it' I'm sure you would have done so. 

I agree, you do need to move on, but it may be that you need some help with this and if you feel that this is the case, I urge you to do so. It isn't weakness, or an inability to cope, it's just that some things you can't do for yourself.

Obviously, feel free to disregard my post if you feel I'm wrong - I can only go off what you've posted, I don't know you.

But I hope you'll consider it.

I have been through CBT for this but thankyou for the advice, it does help to laugh about what happened. Example I went to a conference in Cardiff, she was partially Welsh, she told me not to go to a certain area in Cardiff cannot remember the name, because it was the Red Light District, I went for a curry to this area, despite promises she never cooked curry. I thank everybody for there advice, but I am over it now, she was step mother to my twin boys, I get on with my boys and my grandchildren. Honestly life is good but I will take your advice and seek counselling. I did go before but she was also a Reiki counsellor, but I will try counselling again.