Totally confused

Mazza1602

I separated from my ex nearly 3 years ago, I left the family home with my daughter as there was no way I could pay the mortgage on my own. I never asked for a penny off him for our then 7 year old as our son stayed mostly with him as I moved out the area. I took nothing, I just needed away from him. Long story short, I had to go to the CSA to get help with our daughter as I was struggling and he wanted to see me suffer, my son was at uni, working and I give him money every month. My son then left uni and started an HNC at college. He’s now 19, gets a student loan and works. I pay half his car finance, his mobile phone and give him money when he asks but now my ex is claiming me for child maintenance. He makes £45k a year, lives in the family home that I have never took anything from and also takes money off our son towards the bills! How can this happen when I’ve been told he shouldn’t be getting child benefit?! I stay in Scotland and sometimes phoning child benefit and the CSA gets confusing. Can anyone help? 

M x

tightauldgit

Who is your ex claiming for?

From your post it seems you have a daughter who lives with you and a son who is too old for child maintenance anyway. 

Child maintenance payments are payable by you for any child that lives with the other parent based on your income, the number of nights  they stay in each place and any other dependents you have. They have NOTHING to do with how much the other parent earns, what you did or didn't get in the divorce settlement or anything else. 

Incidentally, why didn't you seek any share of assets when you moved out and what is stopping you doing that now?

Mazza1602

He’s claiming for my son, I stay out of the area now and my sons work, college and friends are too far away for him. 

I totally understand what you mean that it doesn’t matter how much he earns, it’s just frustration that made me rant like that. 

I never took anything because I had serious Mum guilt for moving out and splitting up a family but I hadn’t been happy for a long time and it was the right thing for not just me but the children as well. I would never not pay for my children, they are my heartbeat. I just don’t understand how when I spoke to child benefit they said my ex shouldn’t be getting any money for him but because he is I am liable to pay the maintenance?

Thanks

M x

tightauldgit

Child maintenance payments shouldn't be due on your son if he's 19 and studying for an HNC. Have you received a letter from CMS informing you that are you due to make payments or just that the father has applied? You can appeal the decision if they've based it on incorrect information. 

Nothing stopping you today filing with a court to get your fair share of marital assets incidentally. 

Mazza1602

I have reported him but he stated today that as my son is only doing a one year course he’s entitled to child benefit and maintenance money. We’ll see what the outcome is. As I said it’s frustrating and the system is confusing. As for going for the assets I won’t do that while my son is still there. He’s stuck in the middle of all this and I don’t want this affecting him in anyway. 

Thanks 

M x

poppy12345

Mazza1602 said:

I have reported him but he stated today that as my son is only doing a one year course he’s entitled to child benefit and maintenance money.

No he is not. Benefits for your son stops when non advanced education ends. I don't even know how he's continued to claim child benefit for him.

Mazza1602

While he was at uni he wasn’t claiming for him. Could it be because he’s went back into education? I’ve phoned child benefit numerous times and they always say the same thing. He shouldn’t be getting it!! The CMS have told me while he’s getting CB I have to pay the maintenance. I got sent in a mandatory reconsideration which was declined because of the CB. I feel like I hitting my head off of a brick wall and I’m missing something. It’s definitely an HNC in Electrical Engineering he’s doing, he’s definitely getting a student loan as I have his SAAS log in details and have double double double checked. 

M x

tightauldgit

You can still appeal the mandatory reconsideration to a tribunal. It isn't much work from your side and he will have to show evidence of the course your son is doing. 

The specifics of the course are important as NVQs and traineeships are considered approved for Child Benefit but HNCs are considered advanced education and not eligible for Child Benefit.

Rather than phone I would probably write a letter to the CB people stating that you believe CB is being incorrectly claimed - provide the evidence you have that your son is studying for an HNC and getting a student loan - and point out that this is causing you a knock on issue with CMS. 

The other thing you can do is write to your MP and ask them to intervene.  

Mazza1602

Thank you @tightauldgit. As I said i would never not provide for my kids but he’s doing this for his financial gain, not my sons. The sad thing is, I’m the long run it’s my children that will suffer. 

Thanks again

M x

poppy12345

Mazza1602 said:

While he was at uni he wasn’t claiming for him. Could it be because he’s went back into education? I’ve phoned child benefit numerous times and they always say the same thing. He shouldn’t be getting it!! The CMS have told me while he’s getting CB I have to pay the maintenance. I got sent in a mandatory reconsideration which was declined because of the CB. I feel like I hitting my head off of a brick wall and I’m missing something. It’s definitely an HNC in Electrical Engineering he’s doing, he’s definitely getting a student loan as I have his SAAS log in details and have double double double checked. 

M x

But the course he's doing now doesn't qualify him for child benefit. I have no idea how he's continued to claim it.

Mazza1602

Spoken to CB and they said he’s obviously said he’s doing a different course as they don’t always ask for proof. Sent all the evidence I have to CMS and they’re looking into it again. Honestly my anxiety levels are through the roof with this 😔. 

M x