Probation worries

User3000

Hi all,

Will try to keep it brief.

Started a job in June. All went well at first and was given a mini appraisal 2 months in to say I was doing well. I've always had a feeling my boss didn't like me though, just a gut feeling about how he acted around me etc, very cold and distant.

In August I was having some personal issues and my boss asked if I was OK so I admitted to struggling with mental health (depression/anxiety) and that I had started medication again. Boss was sympathetic at first etc etc. Just to add I've never taken time off due to the above.

About a week later he suddenly started ramping up my work load. We had a meeting and I stated I felt the workload was too high and I was working hours of overtime every week unpaid, his response was to pile more on me and then berate me for not completing it. 

His behaviour towards me has become even colder, very very direct and unapproachable in general. He is not like this with anyone else in the team at all. This has grown and grown until we had another meeting yesterday and discussed my work. No major issues brought up and then today I receive a teams message out of the blue stating he doesn't think I'll pass my probation meeting next month. 

I have a union and I've been in touch (awaiting to hear back) but I'm not sure how to play this. I've started looking for new jobs as a back up but has anyone been in this situation before?

Thanks 

 

Marcon

User3000 said:

Hi all,

Will try to keep it brief.

Started a job in June. All went well at first and was given a mini appraisal 2 months in to say I was doing well. I've always had a feeling my boss didn't like me though, just a gut feeling about how he acted around me etc, very cold and distant.

In August I was having some personal issues and my boss asked if I was OK so I admitted to struggling with mental health (depression/anxiety) and that I had started medication again. Boss was sympathetic at first etc etc. Just to add I've never taken time off due to the above.

About a week later he suddenly started ramping up my work load. We had a meeting and I stated I felt the workload was too high and I was working hours of overtime every week unpaid, his response was to pile more on me and then berate me for not completing it. 

His behaviour towards me has become even colder, very very direct and unapproachable in general. He is not like this with anyone else in the team at all. This has grown and grown until we had another meeting yesterday and discussed my work. No major issues brought up and then today I receive a teams message out of the blue stating he doesn't think I'll pass my probation meeting next month. 

I have a union and I've been in touch (awaiting to hear back) but I'm not sure how to play this. I've started looking for new jobs as a back up but has anyone been in this situation before?

Thanks 

 

Sadly a lot of people will have been in this position - a personality clash (or similar) which exacerbates mental health issues. I'm not sure what reply you are expecting here, or what action you expect your union to take, but the realistic solution is either to investigate whether a change of reporting line is possible (sounds unlikely), or to look for another job. Even if your employer knew about your history of mental health problems before they employed you, that's not a barrier to dismissal on capability grounds, especially after such a short period of employment. It can make it more difficult for an employer to dismiss, but unless you can see the situation improving, is it really wise to put it to the test?

Your priority is to look after your own health.

DanDare999

Given you've been there less than 2 years they can end your contract, unless the reason for this is due to a protected characteristic. 

Charlotte_Ca

That reminds my case in my last job. 

I was moved to a new role due to a company restructure, which I ended up disliking because there was lack of good training. Long story short a couple of months when that happened I had some personal housing issues for which my manager knew about as I had to request a few days of to find a new flat. She was being supportive on that.

Until I moved out I was a bit stressed at home and then after a while I became stressed at work because my manager had the fine idea to micromanage me saying that my productivity is low and I don't spend lots of time on my desk etc (duh was probably only going away from my desk every one hour for 5 mins and was never having long chats with colleagues).

Anyway her comments along with everything that was happening in my life created anxiety and led to a burnout. I was not feeling confident doing this job because nobody could teach you things properly and they were demanding from you to be productive.

I was off sick for 2.5 weeks until I moved to my new place and in the meantime I was open to my manager that this is a job that doesn't fulfil me and if I could change teams. I also explained that my sickness was due to anxiety and this was new to me and I'm learning how to cope etc.

They couldn't move me to a new team so I asked her if I could at least WFH for a month upon my return to work so I could cope with my anxiety. She just said no and even yelled at me saying you are either fit to do the job or not. Btw we had people working WFH. I thought how mean is she! In the beginning she was showing support with my sickness but when I told them this happened due to anxiety and the job she started being less supportive.

Where I want to end up is that I've learned the hard way that it is NOT worth it speaking to any manager about mental health issues. Honestly, they won't understand. Which is sad, but only if the same thing happens to them they will understand what this is. I was reading at ACAS that employers should do reasonable adjustments for people with anxiety etc. NOPE! Companies won't do that. And my company was always sending us emails about mental health every months etc. Fake people they won't care. 

User3000

Charlotte_Ca said:

That reminds my case in my last job. 

I was moved to a new role due to a company restructure, which I ended up disliking because there was lack of good training. Long story short a couple of months when that happened I had some personal housing issues for which my manager knew about as I had to request a few days of to find a new flat. She was being supportive on that.

Until I moved out I was a bit stressed at home and then after a while I became stressed at work because my manager had the fine idea to micromanage me saying that my productivity is low and I don't spend lots of time on my desk etc (duh was probably only going away from my desk every one hour for 5 mins and was never having long chats with colleagues).

Anyway her comments along with everything that was happening in my life created anxiety and led to a burnout. I was not feeling confident doing this job because nobody could teach you things properly and they were demanding from you to be productive.

I was off sick for 2.5 weeks until I moved to my new place and in the meantime I was open to my manager that this is a job that doesn't fulfil me and if I could change teams. I also explained that my sickness was due to anxiety and this was new to me and I'm learning how to cope etc.

They couldn't move me to a new team so I asked her if I could at least WFH for a month upon my return to work so I could cope with my anxiety. She just said no and even yelled at me saying you are either fit to do the job or not. Btw we had people working WFH. I thought how mean is she! In the beginning she was showing support with my sickness but when I told them this happened due to anxiety and the job she started being less supportive.

Where I want to end up is that I've learned the hard way that it is NOT worth it speaking to any manager about mental health issues. Honestly, they won't understand. Which is sad, but only if the same thing happens to them they will understand what this is. I was reading at ACAS that employers should do reasonable adjustments for people with anxiety etc. NOPE! Companies won't do that. And my company was always sending us emails about mental health every months etc. Fake people they won't care. 

Sorry to hear what you went through. 

Yes I am regretting mentioning about my mental health too. I shouldn't have to regret that, but I do feel my boss's attitude towards me changed completely afterwards. I've always had a "gut feeling" he didn't like me from day one but he really ramped it up after I spoke to him about my struggles. 

Dakta

Seems a common thing, I raised MH/Burnout concerns a long time ago with a previous manager (who happened to be family and even an advocate of MH concerns) however the result of that was being shut out of things and isolation under the guise of 'were doing this to help you'. Things got worse even found out after of team events I'd not been invited to and I ultimately got shunted into another department under a guise of a secondment (I was told I couldn't come back which kind of breaks the whole concept of it - no written agreements or anything). Because of how many people struggle on the new team with the work and leave I think it was an attempt at a manage out but it actually played out quite well I used the challenge as a motivator and made a point of surviving and got into an area a lot of people want to get into. 

I promised I'd never tell another manager about the issues, but to be fair things resurfaced recently with a new manager I've recently gone under who up to press has been an absolute brick and actively intervenes and interrupts the workload if it gets too much - good ones are rare, but they do exist!

Charlotte_Ca

User3000 said:

Charlotte_Ca said:

That reminds my case in my last job. 

I was moved to a new role due to a company restructure, which I ended up disliking because there was lack of good training. Long story short a couple of months when that happened I had some personal housing issues for which my manager knew about as I had to request a few days of to find a new flat. She was being supportive on that.

Until I moved out I was a bit stressed at home and then after a while I became stressed at work because my manager had the fine idea to micromanage me saying that my productivity is low and I don't spend lots of time on my desk etc (duh was probably only going away from my desk every one hour for 5 mins and was never having long chats with colleagues).

Anyway her comments along with everything that was happening in my life created anxiety and led to a burnout. I was not feeling confident doing this job because nobody could teach you things properly and they were demanding from you to be productive.

I was off sick for 2.5 weeks until I moved to my new place and in the meantime I was open to my manager that this is a job that doesn't fulfil me and if I could change teams. I also explained that my sickness was due to anxiety and this was new to me and I'm learning how to cope etc.

They couldn't move me to a new team so I asked her if I could at least WFH for a month upon my return to work so I could cope with my anxiety. She just said no and even yelled at me saying you are either fit to do the job or not. Btw we had people working WFH. I thought how mean is she! In the beginning she was showing support with my sickness but when I told them this happened due to anxiety and the job she started being less supportive.

Where I want to end up is that I've learned the hard way that it is NOT worth it speaking to any manager about mental health issues. Honestly, they won't understand. Which is sad, but only if the same thing happens to them they will understand what this is. I was reading at ACAS that employers should do reasonable adjustments for people with anxiety etc. NOPE! Companies won't do that. And my company was always sending us emails about mental health every months etc. Fake people they won't care. 

Sorry to hear what you went through. 

Yes I am regretting mentioning about my mental health too. I shouldn't have to regret that, but I do feel my boss's attitude towards me changed completely afterwards. I've always had a "gut feeling" he didn't like me from day one but he really ramped it up after I spoke to him about my struggles. 

It's a common thing to have regrets and I had many. I honestly liked and trusted that manager so much, and normally I'm not a person that talks about personal issues with people at work, but she was like please reach out if you need anything blah blah blah. With my housing situation I was very vulnerable psychologically so I spoke to her and I regretted that. It's not that I couldn't forgive her but I couldn't forgive myself. To resolve regrets we have to look at what we learned from the story, forgive ourselves as we are only humans and we don't know everything and just make sure we won't repeat the same mistake again.

Now you know that this is a personal matter that you just need to find a way on how to balance it with work. When anxiety comes up learn to understand it, do your best to change the negative patterns and try to think positive.

I've been reading about CBT and how it helps with anxiety etc. 

The way he acted is just a reflection of himself. He is probably going through his own struggles in life. One day he might understand. I remember many years ago I was in a job and my colleague would always get angry easily and snap at me. I've done the best I could to talk to her and say that I understand we are different characters, but we can find a way to collaborate with each other. One day she told me that in the past she had suffered with anxiety. I've got to admit that back then I didn't know how this was affecting what she was, because at that time I was not getting anxious and was a calm person. Now after all these years that I see what anxiety is really like I can understand her. Honestly, anyone is vulnerable to anxiety at any time in their lives. One day your manager might understand. 

Charlotte_Ca

Dakta said:

Seems a common thing, I raised MH/Burnout concerns a long time ago with a previous manager (who happened to be family and even an advocate of MH concerns) however the result of that was being shut out of things and isolation under the guise of 'were doing this to help you'. Things got worse even found out after of team events I'd not been invited to and I ultimately got shunted into another department under a guise of a secondment (I was told I couldn't come back which kind of breaks the whole concept of it - no written agreements or anything). Because of how many people struggle on the new team with the work and leave I think it was an attempt at a manage out but it actually played out quite well I used the challenge as a motivator and made a point of surviving and got into an area a lot of people want to get into. 

I promised I'd never tell another manager about the issues, but to be fair things resurfaced recently with a new manager I've recently gone under who up to press has been an absolute brick and actively intervenes and interrupts the workload if it gets too much - good ones are rare, but they do exist!

Indeed, it seems things like that happen everywhere. The saddest thing is that they promote MH etc and in the end when you speak out they don't do much. So, why are you promoting it then? To fish people and kick them out? Do they think that everyone is a robot and will never get sick?

I'm wondering if there is any organisation we can report these companies so they can launch an investigation. 

Dakta

Even if you could, the writings probably on the wall because you can make a greivance but what you can't do is change peoples opinions, or even company culture.

Kills me to say this but long term solution is likely to find somewhere more accommodating. I'd very likely be in another company now if it wasn't for my current manager, which says a lot because we do have our disagreements.

That said, depending on your diagnosed condition you may find it can fall into a protected characteristic.This may offer some protection with some caveats (company needs to be aware for starters) but again even with the law on your side you'll struggle to be happy in a toxic place.