Downsizing is really emotional

liberty_lily

I totally understand! We downsized from a 3500 sq ft house to one under 2000 sq ft when I was forty and DS had just gone off to university (we did tell him, lol!) and although we later upsized again because it felt like we'd gone too small, too soon, we more recently downsized again to a house of about 1400 sq ft.

We had collected way too much stuff over the years and had ridiculous collections of everything (200+ framed vintage taxidermy butterflies for instance!) including lots of antiques plus old stock from the gift shop business I once had. At the time of that first big move we had eleven sofas 😳

We actually started an ebay business selling the items we couldn't take with us and rapidly became Power Sellers! DH had masses of collectable vinyl to get rid of and eventually - after that first downsize - specialised in selling records/music memorabilia on ebay. I'd definitely not be giving records etc away on the likes of faceache unless they are Val Doonican etc!!!

Talking of which, as others have touched on, faceache is full of timewasters so be prepared to sort those from the genuine buyers. Ebay is far better, imho, for stuff that's worth anything. We've also got rid of less valuable items at carboots/fleamarkets but now's not the best time for those, obviously and I find that if you don't want to be bringing things back, you need to price to sell - we did get shot of loads of cushions, bedding etc in the summer and made £200+, so it's amazing what people will buy.

It's always worth checking with your buyers if there's anything they'd like (for free/to buy, depending on what it is/age/condition). When we were selling that 3500 sq ft place, our buyers purchased £5k of furniture/decorative objects from us which paid for our - long distance - removals 😉 And when we sold my parents' house after they'd gone into a nursing home, the purchasers were happy to be left (for free) the sofas, wardrobes and white goods.

Definitely get your kids to remove their items within a certain time frame or else dispose of - we recently had to burn all DS's uni paperwork having asked him repeatedly if he wanted it (he lives in East Sussex, we're in Wales) and I'm sure we still have his Captain Jack Sparrow outfit somewhere in the attic 🙄

Good luck with the move!

TripleH

My mother had to do this recently.

The best approach is to plan out the layout of furniture in your new home and get rid of the rest.

Be realistic, if you only need 2 double bedrooms then get rid of 1 of your 3 much loved double beds and keep that sigh single bed.

Offer the kids the chance to take any furniture they need.

Emaus are a good way to donate old furniture.

For kids stuff, give a deadline for them to get what they want then dispose of (classic kids toys eg star wars figures can be worth money). Keep a small toy box for grand kids.

Use the time to go through and sort your paperwork out, close all bank accounts etc. Not being cruel, but do you need kids drawings they did 30 years ago?

Sort your wardrobes out too. Again do you now need a tuxedo for example and will it fit?

p00hsticks

I auctioned most of my vinyl record collection recently - mainly 70s & 80s rock and indie. The only thing they wouldn't  take was some classical stuff I had. I gave them everything and they went through and sorted it into lots as they thought fit and spread it out over several separate auctions.

https://www.specialauctionservices.com/Departments/Music-and-Entertainment

As others have said, there are a number of dealers/record shops around who will probably come and have a look and make an offer for the collection if they think it will be of interest - just have a google for those close by or have a look in the likes of Mojo magazine for adverts.

GDB2222

p00hsticks said:

I auctioned most of my vinyl record collection recently - mainly 70s & 80s rock and indie. The only thing they wouldn't  take was some classical stuff I had. I gave them everything and they went through and sorted it into lots as they thought fit and spread it out over several separate auctions.

https://www.specialauctionservices.com/Departments/Music-and-Entertainment

As others have said, there are a number of dealers/record shops around who will probably come and have a look and make an offer for the collection if they think it will be of interest - just have a google for those close by or have a look in the likes of Mojo magazine for adverts.

The thing is that my records are all classical, so I’m guessing nobody will want them. I’ll ask the local record shop, though.

RM_2013

I completely understand how you feel.  We aren’t downsizing as such but we are moving from the family home where we have lived for 19 years and had both kids.  It’s emotional. My parents haven’t downsized as they still live in our family home but they had their loft completely boarded a few years back and took the opportunity to sort out mine and my brothers treasures (trash!!) there was so much there - my old wedding dress (1st wedding) - that went to the charity shop plus my old wedding photos which went in the bin!! 

Old school books and cuddly toys.  They all went up in our loft but I will admit I was quite ruthless recently when we needed ti start clearing our loft for our house move.  I decided to get a clear storage box each for me, DH and the kids and we each filled it with special things, photos, stuff from childhood etc so that when we move we each have a “memory box” to take with us.

we used FB marketplace/free cycle to give away a lot of things, did a car boot and tipped the rest.  Actually felt quite enlightening to clear years of stuff that we really didn’t need anymore.

inwoudk give the kids a deadline to come and sort through their things and decide what they want to keep or not.

good luck with your downsize i am sure all will work out 

NameUnavailable

GDB2222 said:

p00hsticks said:

I auctioned most of my vinyl record collection recently - mainly 70s & 80s rock and indie. The only thing they wouldn't  take was some classical stuff I had. I gave them everything and they went through and sorted it into lots as they thought fit and spread it out over several separate auctions.

https://www.specialauctionservices.com/Departments/Music-and-Entertainment

As others have said, there are a number of dealers/record shops around who will probably come and have a look and make an offer for the collection if they think it will be of interest - just have a google for those close by or have a look in the likes of Mojo magazine for adverts.

The thing is that my records are all classical, so I’m guessing nobody will want them. I’ll ask the local record shop, though.

Classical should be OK, the stuff that doesn't selll is the stuff that nobody really wants to listen to anymore - just look at the typical record selection in the charity shop (Val Doonican, Harry Secombe, unheard of folk singers, KTel compilations etc).

Doozergirl

julicorn said:

Lots of good advice here already regarding the children and also 'exit strategies'. 

On the emotional side, it possibly sounds a little silly, but there are some good self-help books that help you let go of things, and make you understand why and how it's sometimes such an emotional process. 'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up' by Marie Kondo is one that was hugely popular a few years ago, and while there's certainly some Japanese / Shinto based 'woo' in there, I have to admit it that reading it was very helpful and really changed my attitude towards the things I have. It's a quick read too, and you should be able to get it from any library or as a second hand book (getting rid of the book is virtually part of the process, haha!). 

I just wanted to echo this. 

The Life Changing Magic... is a brilliant book, incredibly helpful when needing to reduce the number of belongings you have. 

The psychology of it is simple but brilliant and it will help you to put lots of the other helpful comments given in this thread into action. As above, it is an easy read.    

There is a chapter on what I'll refer to as 'guilty keeps' - things you don't like and don't really want but feel guilty getting rid of because they were given to you, for example.   That should help with the kids' stuff!

I was able to get rid of a heap of stuff immediately after reading the book.  Until then, I'd been led to believe somewhere that I should never throw a book away.  I managed to get rid of probably 75% of my
books in a single afternoon, just keeping the ones that bring joy.  

I still employ the clothes storage and folding methods after several years.  

My other tip is to hire a skip.   I'd like to think that I'm fairly brutal with belongings, but I'm evidently not.   Almost every single item in our loft after 9 years of living in the same house was destined for the skip.  We filled it.  

During another house move, our buyers were actually upsizing but they'd been in their house for a long time.   They managed to fill 3 skips!  

Yes, give away, sell what you can, but you'll
be honestly surprised at the genuine rubbish you're kept.  

Green_hopeful

A little while ago I sold my house and moved in with my now husband we both had big houses with years worth of stuff. We used the Kondo method. Some things are hard but the basic premise is rather than chucking stuff away you keep the stuff you love. So for example we had two cupboards full of baking stuff. So we got them all out and picked out the ones we liked using and kept a number of each size. We then recycled a whole wheelie bin of baking trays we have had for 30 years and would never use. They were not even good enough to free cycle.

we also did a free garage sale where we put everything we didn’t want in the garage and put some ads on free cycle. I came out of the house at 0930 and there were 20 people waiting. I had set the start time for 10 am so at 10 i opened the garage and said they could take whatever they wanted. 15 minutes later it was all gone. It was stuff that charity shops wouldn’t want like skateboards and diy stuff but it all went. 

YoungBlueEyes

When daddy died 5 years ago, we had to sell the family home.  It was rammed with nearly 40 years worth of stuff. Sis took the stuff she wanted for her new place, and left me to go through e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g else. Jeez it was agony.

The only way I could do it was the room by room thing. Friends + neighbours wanted some stuff, then the local saleroom took some, a lot I took to a (pre-warned) charity shop. A few bits I left as the buyers said they wanted them.

But I've still got things that make absolutely no sense, I've no idea what possible use they could've been and I can't bin them 'til I've worked it out  *shrug*

With the stuff I kept, I tried to imagine where it would go in my new house. I only kept stuff that had a (frequent) use, or was aesthetically pleasing. With clothes they had to suit me and fit beautifully (surprising how much I got rid of that didn't fit these criteria!). Books had to be re-readable. Bedding + towels I only kept the good stuff. Same for crockery/kitchenwares. 

I reckon I'm down to about a third of what I did have. It made it easier when I realised that certain chapters of your life have corresponding stuff. I don't have my old baby clothes, or my school books, or those horrendous pieces of tat that we got as wedding presents when I married my first husband. Those things belonged in that chapter. So what belongs in your next chapter....? 

Silvertabby

Good luck with pursuading your children to move their stuff.  A little different, but our elderly widowed neighbour lives alone in a 4 bed house.  She has no plans to downsize, as she needs the bedrooms for visiting family - but she would love to have a good clear out prior to redecoration/new carpets/new furniture.

But everytime she asks her adult children to clear their mountains of stuff, they just laugh at her and change the subject.