Money Moral Dilemma: Should our mate cover the deposit lost on our house share after he pulled out?

Alilock10

I think it would be polite of him to offer a contribution to the money you have lost, but he is unlikely to do so. However, I agree with an earlier comment - having already paid the deposit you should have continued with the rental and found a fifth person to join you. By not doing so, you have effectively thrown away over £500, which demonstrates a somewhat immature approach to the problem. 

Ath_Wat

hazyjo said:

Don't see how it's any different to, say, buying a house, spending money on surveys, solicitor, etc, and someone pulling out. Nothing would be reimbursed.

These sorts of decisions on "what if" scenarios should be made before paying anything. Unfortunately, lesson learned. Try asking, but it's definitely not worth losing a friend over. 

I don't see any way in which it's remotely similar to that, apart from having the word "house" in there.

Why are you claiming it was a "what if" scenario?  It wasn't.  They agreed to do it, and he pulled out.

hazyjo

Ath_Wat said:

hazyjo said:

Don't see how it's any different to, say, buying a house, spending money on surveys, solicitor, etc, and someone pulling out. Nothing would be reimbursed.

These sorts of decisions on "what if" scenarios should be made before paying anything. Unfortunately, lesson learned. Try asking, but it's definitely not worth losing a friend over. 

I don't see any way in which it's remotely similar to that, apart from having the word "house" in there.

Why are you claiming it was a "what if" scenario?  It wasn't.  They agreed to do it, and he pulled out.

Just saying there's no more legal responsibility than with agreeing to buy a house. (Could've used other examples.)

Yes it would be nice if he paid, but I wonder what contingency plan was in place in case one lost their job or couldn't pay and they'd all moved in. Would they all have been up s-creek? Was trying to say that surely there must have been some discussion regarding what would happen if one person wanted to leave or dropped out. The obvious solution is to replace them and perhaps that should've been explored.

cheerful

fourmarks said:

However, only you and your friends can determine how asking for the money will affect your friendships and what the price of that may be.  Your call.

People often make similar statements yet appear not to have looked at it from the other side.  Did the person who pulled out determine how costing his friends £106 each would affect his friendships and what the price of that may be?

gloriouslyhappy

Friend should not have reneged on the agreement, but the rest of you should have been prepared for having someone drop out or being unable to cover their rent - these sort of issues should be discussed before agreeing a house-share.

Friend has a moral but probably not legal obligation to reimburse you. However, since we don't know why he pulled out of the houseshare, we don't know whether or not he can afford to. A token offer should have been made, at the very least, otherwise not much of a friend and you're lucky you found out early. But as others have said, why didn't you look for a new house mate before giving up the house?

karlgol

I disagree with all of the replies here saying he should pay you back. 

Think about why you had a holding deposit in the first place: it forms an agreement you all (and the landlord) enter into hoping that the outcome will be good and you get the house. But that agreement carries risk and by contributing your share, you’re entering into an acceptance that there’s a risk involved. 

It’s really a life lesson. Every potential gain carries a risk of failure and you need to have a plan in place for if the worst happens. Passing blame isn’t going to help you be successful. 

CapeTown

I am guessing it is too late now, but what you should have done and no doubt will do if this ever happens again,  is advertise on spareroom.com. Rentals are at a premium and you would have had no problem replacing him. I advertised a room in my flat and got 400 replies. 

confusedgranny

Tricky.
You feel that you shouldn't (and can't afford) to lose your deposit.
He has maybe decided that he can't afford the rent.
Either way someone will feel hard-done-by.

HRH_MUngo

We booked a caravan for a week with another couple and we paid the deposit.  When the time came to pay the balance, the other couple said they were holidaying with family instead.  We had to pay the whole of the balance ourselves. They didn't offer to pay us a penny.  We thought they should,.  However we said nothing for the sake of friendship. 

I think the OP's scenario is similar.  Would they rather have the money or the friendship?

lucypilates

Morally yes, perhaps he should repay you all. 

But then also morally, he has also lost his deposit and if he does pay you all back, he will be considerably more out of pocket. He clearly doesn’t have money to spare so this would be very hard on him and should he really shoulder ALL the fall out from this JOINT risk you all took??! 

I say let it go, all learn from the experience and try to keep the friendship unsullied … in a years time, that deposit will mean nothing but friendship will ..