Cost of living payment, what's fair?

tifo

You're too kind.

If the COL payment is for some of the bills, which I assume he doesn't pay, then you should, with his agreement, have this money. Explain to him that the rent, which he's behind on, pays only for the room and nothing else.

elsien

He’s had two years to get his act together. If you still want him in your house it’s time for a sit down and a proper discussion and written lodger agreement along with the consequences if he doesn’t pay his way properly.

You did a very kind thing, but kindness only goes so far. He is an adult not a lad any more.  A slightly chaotic one maybe but you’re not helping him in the long run by letting him build up more and more debt for life’s essentials. Beer is not one of life’s essentials. 

(Now if he’d said chocolate…….)

Yes absolutely keep the cost of living payment. If he doesn’t like it there’s nothing to stop him setting up his own bank account dealing with his own money and taking himself off elsewhere.

WhiskersTheWonderCat

Honestly, this arrangement you have needs to be looked at. I can understand wanting to give him a chance at leading a normal life, instead of being homeless/imprisoned. But he's had 2 years now, and by the sound of it, he hasn't secured a job or alternative accommodation. I think he's got far too comfortable and knows you are extremely lenient and generous and is milking it. I think he needs his own bank account, his own place, and a job. It sounds like he didn't even attempt to go on UC until you pushed him to. Has he been actively looking for work?