Helping a friend - Ex wants to buy her out

Titus_Wadd

jonnydeppiwish! said:

Titus_Wadd said:

I bought out my first husband when we split and it was a huge mistake (early 90s with galloping interest rates, which galloped even faster after I remortgaged!).  We had a couple of estate agent valuations and then I had a survey for my mortgage so we agreed the price was fair.  I paid off the old mortgage and started a new one on my own.  I hope this helps. 

Whatever the solution it just has to be a clean break, so the OP's pal should take their share of any equity and move on.  I lived in a small village too but I never crossed paths with my ex, even accidentally.

But one buying the other is also a clean break - saves potential issues further down the line if one party doesn’t agree to a sale price etc. This way, assuming the price is correct. It can over and done with with minimal input from the Op’s friend.

As for them living in the village - it happens and your friend can’t dictate where the ex can or cannot live. There may people who want to gossips but ultimately, no one really cares.  People will just get on with their lives, even though the friend may not be able to.

Oh yes, I agree!  What I was meaning to say is, take the money and move on.  I thought staying in the house would be the easier option but I was glad to eventually sell and move away. 

Mutton_Geoff

jonnydeppiwish! said:

Get her to treat it as a business transaction, 3 values from different EAs and go from there.

A business transaction would require a red book valuation rather than three shiny suits sticking a finger in the air.

jonnydeppiwish!

Mutton_Geoff said:

jonnydeppiwish! said:

Get her to treat it as a business transaction, 3 values from different EAs and go from there.

A business transaction would require a red book valuation rather than three shiny suits sticking a finger in the air.

But a red book would probably value it at a lesser value than what it could sell for on an open market?

JReacher1

I think this is being overcomplicated by what I imagine is quite an emotional situation.

Best way forward would be to get the house valued and then the two options that they have are : 

1) Sell the house on the open market and split the profit 50/50.
2) One of the parties pays the other one 50% of the agreed house value to take over sole ownership.

TBagpuss

Brie said:

TBagpuss said:

Broadly speaking, yes, if he can buy her out and leave her in the same (or better_ position thabshe would be if  the house were sold on the open market then it would be unreasonable for her to block the sale.

Of course, if she is in a position to buy him out then she can propose that instead, and if he is no able to raise enough to buy her out and clear the current mortgage then he can't force her to remain on the mortgage or to accept less than market value for her share of the house. 

Is this correct?  I thought that if he can't raise sufficient credit to remortgage and thus buy her out then they would have to continue being joint on the mortgage even if one or the other isn't paying their share.  Happy to be corrected if I'm not right.

Short term, yes,  but either of them has a right for force a sale (although doing it through the courts isn't very quick and is expensive) so if he can't or won't remortgage to buy her out and get her off the current joint mortgage then she could get an order for sale. 
 

Bendy_House

Momanns said:

Hi all,

Hoping someone can help. A friend has split with her long-term partner who is now in a relationship. They are unmarried and own a mortgaged property as joint owners.

The house was for sale but he has now said he wants to buy her 50% share in the property. The house is in a village where her family/life is so she is not keen to see him and his new partner move into what was meant to be their "forever" home. He has traditionally managed their finances so she is a little unsure of these things.

Is she obliged to sell her share in the property if he is able to finance buying her out? She is aware that by going to market, she may well receive less (with estate agent fees) but for the reasons above this would still be her preference. 

Thank you in advance

This is clearly an awful situation for your friend. They obviously thought they could make a good go of it, having bought a house together as joint owners. When a relationship breaks up after that seeming amount of 'certainty', at least one person is going to be badly hurt.

In your friend's situation, this is hugely compounded by the fact the ex still wants to live in 'their' house with his new partner. And that this is in what would appear to be a close village community where everyone is known.

Wow - she has the whole package to deal with.

But, that's what happens when relationships break up. Sometimes it's relatively painlessly, other times it leaves long-lasting scars. What you cannot do is just avoid it. It's a fait accompli, and is happening tensofthousands of times across the country right this second.

Yes, she will likely have a dollop of (misguided) humiliation to add to the mess - the quick move on to a 'younger' partner. But I say that this is misguided, because this is no reflection on her, but more likely is on him. And, yes, many folk will feel 'sorry' for her, another hellish (and also often misguided) emotion.

This is all unavoidable. It's life.

This is your call, but imo if you truly want to be the best possible friend to this lady, you encourage her to just cut all ties and move on. If selling the house on the open market is the best financial option for her, then that's what to do. If it's to sell her half to him, then ditto.

What he does afterwards has nothing to do with her. What does have a lot to do with her is her dignity, and that is something she can achieve and maintain in spades, whereas I suspect he will struggle.

Folk will talk and whisper and make their judgements on what has gone on - you cannot stop that. Some will be supportive of her, others of him. That's life - the population is full of 'oles.

But if she can hold her head up high, do whatever is simplest and best for her to do with the house (and by that I mean financially), and walk away with as little (expressed) bitterness as she can, then she'll know that she has dignity, and that anyone who is not supportive of her is firmly in the 'ole category. (You can also be her outlet for all the cuss'ing...)

If she tries to scupper his plans, then - sorry - the opposite will happen. If she badmouths him, then ditto. Dignity will wear away.

It isn't Karma - there is no such thing. There's just 'people', and they are fluid and often very very stupid. We know this by the mess the country is in, and that a large %-age of the population actually voted for what was inevitable. But, if you behave with dignity, then ultimately folk will have respect, and not pity. If you don't, well...

So, as a good friend, that's what I would suggest.

theoretica

One point is that her ability to not agree to sell her half of the house to him will be exactly equal to his ability to not agree to sell his half to someone else.  Is dragging the situation out and continuing to own the property jointly in any way desirable?

What about agreeing a valuation at which he will buy the property if they have not secured a higher offer after a fixed period of marketing the place? 6 weeks maybe? That should remove concern about him buying it at a significant undervalue.

Ath_Wat

Titus_Wadd said:

I bought out my first husband when we split and it was a huge mistake (early 90s with galloping interest rates, which galloped even faster after I remortgaged!).  We had a couple of estate agent valuations and then I had a survey for my mortgage so we agreed the price was fair.  I paid off the old mortgage and started a new one on my own.  I hope this helps. 

Whatever the solution it just has to be a clean break, so the OP's pal should take their share of any equity and move on.  I lived in a small village too but I never crossed paths with my ex, even accidentally.

The issue of rising interest rates is completely unconnected to the fact that you had bought your ex out.  The same would apply to anyone buying a house at that time.  If house prices had soared you would be far better off.

Schwarzwald

1- get the house valued by at least 3 EAs and also a RICS valuer; if within similar range, pick the median as value

2- ex to decide if he wants to buy her stake out at that value

3- if yes, sell to him; if not, sell on the open market

4- move on with life

elsien

Momanns said:

Ath_Wat - No one is suggesting he can't live in the village or buy the house next door. The question was whether she would have to sell the house they own to him if he could buy her out as joint owners. 

He could make it extremely difficult to sell on the open market so dragging it out for an extremely long time. A reluctant vendor still living in the house with finances still entangled with their ex is going to be a huge no for a prospective buyer. 

My two pennorth is for her to get a proper valuation and let him buy her out. It’s going to be a lot less stressful all round.